> Thursday, September 1, 2022
> Philadelphia, PA
"Good evening, my fellow Americans. Its been a difficult decade. We've witnessed violence at the hands of police against our most vulnerable citizens, and we've witnessed violence at the hands of our citizens against our police. We've endured devastating environmental catastrophes, a global pandemic, and economic turmoil. Throughout it all, I believe we've retained the core of who we are. We are all Americans. Though we may hold different political opinions, at the end of the day we all yearn to help each other succeed - as Americans.
And yet, we have a cancer. A cancer has grown upon our nation. Some would say it was borne in the darkest corners of the internet. Others would say it was deliberately planted, by our enemies in Al Qaeda, or in Russia.
Although I remain committed to a more thorough forensic analysis, I'm not here today to point fingers. I come before you with the hope of treatment. By removing the cancerous growth within us, we can begin a new journey toward wellness. We can remember to appreciate the beauty of each new day.
But to fight cancer, you need to be tough. You have to make painful decisions, and you need to endure them, no matter how difficult they might be.
In the past few weeks, I've been advised that my predecessor stole a variety of extremely confidential documents, in order to share our most sensitive information with those who would seek to harm us. Whether he did this for money, or power, or spite, I honestly don't know. Frankly, we get a different answer each day.
But this is a cancer. And as President, I cannot allow this cancer to grow.
At this time, federal agents are in the process of detaining Donald John Trump, 45th President of the United States of America, for his involvement in leaking classified information.
America will endure. Thank you, God bless you, and God bless the United States of America.
> yfw this happens Thursday
