WAGIES BTFO

Please advise

lmao. I wish I could treat my coworkers like this.

They should have fucking fights on office floors to settle the passive aggressive shit that goes on in those places

say aye-aye then. or 10-4, or roger

You can't have it both ways you know. We aren't allowed to say these things, so we use the shit from the OP , but now we can't use that either since it hurts their feelings? There is no miscommunication here, I said "per my last email" because youre a cunt that tries to pull a fast one on me and copy your boss on too.

I work for a German. We are both always professional and well-mannered in our conversations. It helps that we are both grown men and not some whiny bitches.

It makes the last,y shits look bad. 20-50% of people aren't doing shit these days. They think they're immune to lay offs given worker shortage. They don't realize there's no demand of product for the last year and back orders have been filled.

Lazy shits.

Dream boss

I use most of them and I don't care. Fuck them.

what if want to be actively aggressive?

I always start my sentences with "With all due respect" which everyone tacitly know means "You fucking retards".

I’d say “will do” but I don’t want to be on a watchlist

Just memeing sirs

I start with "Hope you find this mail in good health." It means I hope you all fucking die.

I will use them all from now on,
thanks.

women in the workplace was a mistake

I will do the needful sir.

>some retard is too much of a coward to say what he thinks to my face
>oh no its it's your job to decipher whatever *passive aggressive* babbling this retard shits
No.

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They are all phrases that are used to soften emails asking people for a second time to do their jobs. Everyone who uses these phrases is upset that you haven't done anything yet. People think these phrases are passive aggressive because they know they fucked up. This is pure projection, and I feel bad for the people who have to rely on these fuck-ups.

You forgot my personal favourite: "Thank you for your anticipated co-operation in this matter.

OP is a faggot.

Noted.

business communication in Japan works wonderfully because you fake extreme politeness even if you’re mad as hell and if the other guy fucks up you apologize to him for failing to remind him to not fuck up, usually this causes the other party to recognize their own guilt and immediately stop fucking up unless you are dealing with an American because he dindu nuffin or a German because ZIS IZ NOT ZE VEY ZAY OUR MANUAL SEZ IT ZHOULD BE DONE VHY DOES YOUR VAY OF DOINK IT DIFFER FROM ZE KORREKT VAY VITCH IZ ZE GERMAN VAY UND FURZHERMORE VHAT IZ EARZHQUAKE UND TYPHOON VE DONT KARE ABLUT ZUCH ZHINGS IN GERMANY, VHY IS YOUR FAZILITY SO HUMID IN ZE SUMMER IN GERMANY VE KEEP HUMIDITY VITHIN +/-0.3% ALL YEAR VHAT DO YOU MEAN MONZOON ZEASON VE DON’T KARE

Lol I work from home for a big accounting firm and just steal their money by fucking about during the work day

I refuse to be passive aggressive in the workplace.

I'm openly hostile and combative about everything.

I'm not being paid to make pleasantries with retarded children who can't tell the difference between a coat hanger and a picture hanger. You only get affirmation in the lowest amount of effort I am willing to spend on placating customers.

>Did you order this?
>It's been seven days and one hour, we have a strict seven day holding policy, you product has been refunded and you have been charged a 15% restocking fee.
>"So because I didn't pick up my order on time I'm being charge?"
>Correct, you signed a contract when you placed the order.
>"I want to speak to your manager."
>I am the manager, what is the issue?

And then the buttmad starts. The majority of revenue I get is from fucking morons who are too retarded or lazy to read an agreement and just come get their bullshit. I do not run a storage unit, get your shit and fuck off.

The majority of my vocabulary is
>Correct
>No
>Is this valid?
>According to our records sir, you are not a woman and I will not address you as such.
>I don't remember asking your opinion.
>I am the manager.

No, I will not tell you where I work and yes, I really do speak to customers this way.

Honorary aryan status revoked. yoroshiku onegaishimasu.

>nigger women work

You got a lot of pent up frustration, user. I can feel it. It's palpable, like the humidity of a hot summer day. I'm a floridafag and am a little disappointed since we haven't had any 'canes at all this year so far.

Lol tell us how you really feel nip bro

Kek this is reality.

>As per our last email, I will need your manager's sign off to unfuck your mistake this time.
>CC:

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I used to be like this when I was a manager at McDonald's. They wouldn't fire or even reprimand me because I was the only white guy there.

>Japanese man trying to say sorry to me
Ah! Sorry but you can't do that.

>proceeds to rage about the floor grade specification for the equipment installation not being within 0.002 degrees of perfect horizontal on a subtropical mountainside subject to category 5 typhoons and magnitude 9 earthquakes

I use almost all of these except Friendly Reminder. My reminder is not friendly, it is objective.
I have to speak this way because if I don't soften my language you'll screech to HR and try to get me fired. So I say
>Please advise
Instead of
>The 17 paragraphs of nonsense you sent to my inbox at 5am is fucking incomprehensible. The most I was able to drive from your stream of consciousness drivel is that this needs to be done ASAP, which is identical to the last 34 emails you've sent me in the last 2 months. Being that we are all still employed and the lights are on, I can surmise this too has been lost in the translation from retard to English