Which jobs pay you to do nothing?

I want to pursue a career into doing nothing. So far I’ve considered these:

>night guard
>HR
>librarian
>elementary school fitness trainer

Any other ideas?

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Overnight help desk at local business (hospital is a decent choice)
Financial analyst
Hedge fund manager (meet with boomers once a year and tell them you're up 0.4%)
Handicapper (professional sports betting / horseracing)
Accountant (easily outsource your own job so you can do like 4 contracts WFH and have pajeet do it instead just check numbers like 5hr of work per week tops)

JIDF internet task force
make memes and a few shekles at the same time

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Anything in healthcare, I never see them doing anything and reference the pandemic dancing.

business consultant
project coordinator (or "scrum/agile guru" or some other buzzword for having an organization method and to do list)

Easy. Be a politician.

Government IT jobs, particularly sysadmin roles, are peak do nothing jobs.

I would say I.T but so far I am just getting cucked.

Oooh man, the one with the ponytail looks like marriage material

>get job in HR
>support DEI
>hire a bunch of ghetto nigs
>laugh as company tries to correct the death spiral while avoiding the root problem

Financial analyst if you can manage to pass the Series 7.
>You need to be good at using calculus however

what kind of IT jobs are good. ive been stuck at helpdesk and cant find any easier jobs. sysadmin jobs require so much experience and certs so no point in applying for them

Will you really get hired as a financial analyst with only a series 7

Drama youtubers make insanely easy money. My mom watches this one bitch with like 30k subscribers that all she does is shit talk other no name channels. She made 3k in 2 hours last night from superchats. People absolutely love drama. I think I'm gonna start one myself cuz I'm sick of being a roofer.

I love the glasses haircut combo on the fourth chick but wew, fucking complete and utter butterface

I work the help desk for an application and I only do 2-3 hours of real work a day. As long as I get my tickets closed, my Pajeet manager leaves me alone. The rest of the time I day trade, bet on sports, and read.

dont need certs, just experience. certs help show you have some experience even if just studying. you should know your shit though, because there is a ton of non-technical stuff you need to learn.

dont need the cert, but read the material on an AWS cert, same for some linux and security certs, etc. Read a book or watch some podcasts on project management, esp for software shops, etc.

go to networking events, meet people, ask for help. people love to help, especially motivated people.

find jobs, dont go through HR but find the hiring manager on linkedin and email them. plead your case, do your research, show them you are not just a shotgun applicant with no relevant experience.

Night shift in a NOC or something is a nice stepping stone as people generally dont want to work nights.

Try to get away from too corporate and find a job somewhere that keeps your sharp. Change jobs every 12-24 months as you progress, and slow down once you have made a few hops.

Be good to everyone you meet because once you have a job and a reputation, you have tons of future referrals when they move on and need a guy. Thats why its so hard to get in, but so easy to stay in.

good luck, you need it plus skill, so put in the time, and play the odds and find a foot in the next door and you'll make up ground quick

Something coordinator or manager

Psychiatrist. Lots of studying but your actual work will be just to listen to schizos, give them the same 4 meds then write 4 lines about how they are schizos. Get fucking rich.

some helpdesk jobs are chill but most of them are back to back calls
thanks for the advice. it looks tough but i guess its worth the struggle

Just marry your mom already

Find a local election and some neighboring village for a job like clerk or something like that. A lot of those jobs are elected in. So you'll have to put your name on the ballot. But there are a lot of them where literally nobody puts their name on the ballot, and you would be the only one. Those jobs are usually like 40,000 to $50,000. And require you to show up in the office like maybe once a week to just sit and pretend that you're making decisions. All of the rest of the job can be phoned in remotely. And you can't be fired by anybody. You would have to be removed from your job by a vote.