Got hired at some left wing marketing place. I'm the finance guy but how do I fit in? I need to memorize talking points and shit so I don't get outed as a right winger and fired.
First job I've had in 8 months and I can't fuck this up. Please help.
I'll start:
>Trans rights are human rights
Okay but what else???
My body my choice. Christians are the Taliban. Slava Ukraine. Covid is dangerous. Drumpf bad. Supreme court suddenly bad. Wars are for oil and (((nothing else))). TV man very funny. Gays are cute.
Don't be spineless OP
Redpill them into reality
just say as a white male i think I'm represented enough and just take shit in any professional talking points
talk about wealth inequality and racial injustice and express general indignation about the state of the world and you'll get along fine. Talk about making sure you are "aligned with inclusive principles" and "want to take into account diverse perspectives" and shit like that.
You're lying, liar.
Remember:
1) We have do address the systemic.
2) It's raining in the forest.
3) Male gaze/male gays
4) No one has a vagina
5) Colonizers get stitches
6) Putin stealing cars out of our garages.
7) Shoot your barber because you look like an asshole.
7a) Quit your job.
Just try to avoid saying nigger fagot gay truth anything about science. Just let your mind go. It's the words that are going to fuck you up. I'm not really wanting to give advice because I do the opposite. Just focus on your work everybody loves a good slave. You just got to be cool on the mouth
dont speak politics, sexual or racial topics on the clock
I hate canucks but I love that picture because bears and dogs are my favorite two animals. Also elephants.
Faggot.
All you have to do is not participate in retarded political gossip and do your fucking job.
I'm barely keeping my head above water
Any liberal YouTuber who's shit I can steal?
Don't say nigger out loud and you'll be fine
Just follow etiquette for the workplace reveal less than 10% of your personal life smile politely a lot nod best foot forward pretend you're a Grandma's house everyday how fucking complicated is that? Soon as you want to be inside in summer in a fucking office fagot ass.
Make sure you add lots of budget for unqualified idiots that do terrible work.
Can always claim to be non-binary, if anyone asks why you didn't say they/them just say you don't want to make anyone uncomfortable and you used to get teased for it in university
That oughta shut people up
Be a human rights supporter in general, be happy at women getting pondered because equality...actually finance isn't all that left wing crazy.
Best thing, cut your testicles off... everything will come naturally then
Identify as female immediately so no BIGOTS can fuck with you for being awkward.
Just put up an apolitical front. It's the professional thing to do, anyway.
why should we help you you fucking traitor?
I tried pretending to be ‘quite’ at work, so I don’t have to engage in stupid, irritating conversations. It works to a point, but some people can think you are being standoffish or weird, and they will conspire against you.
Best to just quit and live in a dumpster.
I can’t do it. I just can’t. Unfortunately.
Use this opportunity to sabotage and ruin your lefty coworkers. Print "hate speech" from their computers and leave it on the printer. Complain anonymously and unrelentingly about things you hear and see, always out of context and always when at least one other witness is present. Hide and break important things. Infect the computers with viruses. Delete important documents off coworkers computers. Report literally every innocent mistake to OSHA. Pretty soon everyone will quit or be fired and you will have a bargaining chip for a big raise.
You could start dressing like a tranny, and identify as a black woman with sickle cell.
Just tell people you don't eat shellfish and they'll get the message and avoid you.