I just had a good date with a gril I like and we got kinda drunk and went back to my place and she farted and now...

guess op wont need any lube tonight

Text her and say it's ok that it's cool if she even takes a shower before coming back out tell her you will sit anything next to the door for her

I was young but thought I was already old. Pussy in the hand is better than two in the bush. Then the kids came and I was committed. Honestly don’t care about losing the whore but idk what to do about my kids.

Sounds like you knew what you married

What's wrong with you? That can happen to anyone. She's probably embarrassed. Do right and be a gentleman.

Make her a big bowl of eggs

keep the kids and tell the wife to piss off

If only she was vaccinated

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That's a tough one man. My mother wasn't a cheating whore (that I know of), but she went on and had 2 other marriages, essentially gold digger status. It made me mistrust women seeing their true nature. Not a lot you can do about that, I suppose, except just try to maintain that you're a strong, supportive father.

I’m trying not to.
She’s suggested we go back to my place. She wants to fuck. But, I’m mean, there’s no way now. Going down on her isn’t going to happen. Maybe another time. She’s cute. But you didn’t hear it. Jesus. And I can’t leave and make excuses. It’s my place. She isn’t going to leave, without being offended and fuck thing up completely.

True. I was too stupid to realize what I was signing up for. Didn’t care much back then. Also thought it would change with age.

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Ask if you can go in and watch

Does she usually have a diarrhea while cheating?

lol

Leave apt, go get food or sonething, say you didnt hear anything

Nice i got flaked on yesterday
Tomorrow I'm gonna try to fuck a milf i used to fuck a few years ago

Kek

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It’s what I’m going to do but she stays home with them now. They’re too young to realize what her being a whore means.

>Also thought it would change with age.
I bet it changed in the sense that it got progressively worse.

Embarrassment will keep her away forever.
Say you left when she went to the bathroon, cause you wanted...? Dosnt matter

Fornicators burn in hell

You had better propose to her when she gets out.

Maybe, she only drinks cheap beer

EAT HER SHIT ENCRUSTED ASS HOLE LIKE A MAN

you should've ordered from the special menu for bottoming, better luck next time

Thats hot I wish a girl would blast my toilet full of shit, you should put on some relaxing music for her when she gets out.

Go in the bathroom after she's done shitting and get a good whiff.

This. And please for the love of God don’t expose them to globohomo and raise them right.

tell her to stop wasting that much water!

Hard to say. I think the amount of drinking is maybe even less but the cumulative effects are starting to show

got any weed? She'll be out in 5 minutes and you'll be off the hook til she cleans that sludgetrap up for next time

Classic mistake

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laugh with her about it
treat her like a bro this one time and it will pay off
she will know you don't put her pussy on a pedestal

If she’s an absolute dime just go in guns-hot, user
If you don’t you’ll 100% regret it when you’re old

Yeah, I mean she’s now taking a shower. She knows. I know. She may know I know. I’m thinking she expects us to fuck, just to get over the embarrassment. I get she’s clean. But it was fucking foul. Just sloppy. The smell wafted. And if I just half heartedly fuck or don’t go down she’ll know, or be offended, and fuck things up. Yeah, I know, man up. But Christ, it was horrible. Like blowing a tuba in a pool of porridge.

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She’s a keeper, she’s cleansing her colon for anal, get ready to party.