Locked up

Shit, I do come too quick sometimes. Gotta be careful. Fortunately I've never had problems with getting it up or going multiple rounds.

good advice, also walk laps around the room during food time
get books to read or have family donate to prison, not much else to do

Huh, how do inmates make it without getting discovered? Where do you get a still from?

Prison or county jail?

Jail you can usually chill. Stay in bed late whatever. Usually a group of guys in a cell, low level DUI guys, small drugs, poor whites and blacks. Counts before and after meals, common areas are shit, pretty chill but boring AF.

You can get some killers pre trial Or at the end of their sentence but they don’t want problems usually.

t. Reformed Loser who went to jail before cleaning up my life. Never been to Prison

Why surrender? Valhallah is for warriors.

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I dont know the specifics but it has something to do with fermenting fruit in your toilet

>State or federal prison?
>race?
>support from family?
>can you fight?
>do you know how to scheme?
Answers only pls

Yep. Find the biggest guy on the yard and blow him. If you have a cellie blow him too. I had a great time in prison, everyone gave me free shit and called me candy lips. A bunch of them even cried when I was getting out. A member of the southies even wrote to his boys about me, and within a week of getting out they hooked me up with a job at the dick sucking factory. 3 years later, and I run this shop and easily pull 6 figures.

Prisons what you make of it, have fun and hustle.

you're such a faggot. he said dont make hooch. fucking retard. you're probably poor and stupid

only communicate with your own race
that is the only rule
do not do favors
unless it's the shot caller from your race
always keep your shirt tucked and buttons up. there are enough faggots, nobody wants to rape you, just don't walk like a faggot with your underclothes showing.
get a Bible
read the Bible
speak slowly
i said speak slowly
don't look at someone elses junk in the shower. don't jerk off.
if you are going to help anyone, help them read and get educated. otherwise, just listen.
and pray. Jesus Christ is mighty to save all who call on His name.

based faggot knows how to have a good time.

Fuck off scumbag. I don't talk to criminals.

you don't need to use the toilet for it. They have trashbags for the cafetaria staff inmates, guys just bring those back from the kitchens after their shift, then you use a property bag or extra blankets or whatever and hide it in there. It only takes three or four days to ferment if you can keep it warm and a high sugar content. It comes out more like a tart wine if you use oranges, and more like a syrupy liqour if you use peaches. Apples can work but the texture of the fruit flesh means you have to crush it up into basically apple sauce. if you cook a packet of ramen and then use the starch water from the noodles that can also accelerate the fermenting. the bitch of it is getting enough sugar from the comissary with skittles and such. butterscotch works the best imho.

>t. spent three months in county jail with a lifer cellmate that was back in county for a re-trial. He got off after he proved he acted in self defense, he'd been in jail for 26 years since he was 16.

did 6 years in state. my advice is to learn to enjoy reading, go outside and walk every chance you get, mind your own business, learn to not give a fuck what anyone else says, get earplugs so you can sleep, stay off the phones unless they let you text, don't buy sugar shit from commissary, send whatever books you want to read during your stay to the prison before you arrive, just rest your neck and stay out of the way. People talking about rapes and gang fights and whatnot are full of shit. Don't associate with gang retards and faggots and you'll be fine. Just read a shitload of books and reflect on the meaning of life or whatever. Do buy yourself whatever the best pair of shoes you can get. Be polite to the staff. Be quiet. Remember that you are in jail, and there's nothing much that they can really do to you, so you are free to say and do whatever the fuck you want, as long as you don't hurt anyone or get caught breaking rules. Fuck it. Just zone out and it will fly by.

State
White
Yes
Not really
I have zero street smarts

No

Just drop soaps instead

>not really

rip

Josh Pillault the RuneScape felon did a few videos on prison life, I suggest you watch them. There's a few other prison YouTubers as well.

U gonna get taped son