>be me >need food for the house >go out to the grocery store, threw on a Trump shit haphazardly before leaving the house >go down the cereal section to get some cereal >some turbofat landwhale notices my Trump shirt >begins LOUDLY berating me for being a "racist" >tell her to lose some fucking weight >she gets REAL mad now >leaves the aisle fuming >I start chuckling to myself >she then comes back with her equally as fat husband >He says "You insult my wife?" >I laugh in his face >He tells me that there was this dude he hung out with in Cky called "Mike Vallely", and he was the douchiest blowhard I've ever seen.
>He was a 5'8" balding manlet who looked like he hit the gym maybe twice a week to do only chest and arms, and he would get super aggro over nothing in order to look like the "tough one" of the crew; which isn't really much of an accomplishment, because the bar isn't set very high in the first place. His accomplishments included scattering 4 timid teenagers by flailing his arms like a windmill, and shoving a middle-aged mall cop away while the security guard was just trying to do his job.
>He also had a brief stint as a hockey enforcer, where presumably his appreciation for violence might serve some sort of purpose, but then, to absolutely NO ONE'S surprise, the MOMENT he had to fight someone as strong, or stronger than him, who was equally as fond of violence as he was, he got his shit pushed in regularly. Never won a single fucking hockey fight in his life and was CONSTANTLY getting thrown to the ice.
>The guy was the definition of coked up blowhard.
>Mike Vallely, ladies and gentlemen. A possible contender for "faggiest skater in all of existence". Possibly faggier than even Bam Margera himself.
Based bread. I'll give one myself > at community college because I'm retarded, circa 2017 > wearing a maga beanie because it's funny and red, which matched my jacket > getting an ice cream bar from the machine desu > fatboy neopolitan. Hell fucking yes > chow down with my monster zero ultra zog juice > feel a cool breeze on my hair > wait. Hair? > look beind me and see a 5"8 fat, pimple covered reddit orangutan with a matrix jacket and thick rimmed glasses > greasy. Sweaty. Headphones caked with that stuff that shows up on the corner of your lips when you don't drink water enough > wearing a legend of Zelda shirt and a pokemon go watch > most importantly he had MY FUCKING HAT IN HIS HAND > walk over. Drop my bag and demand my hat back > " hell no, blah blah blah, you are a white supremacist, blah blah blah, I'm friends with many bipoc myself and am an ally" > I look over to the left and see his table of disgusting Troon buddies all sitting around the table and playing marvel vs Capcom 3 1/2 cont
> see a fat dude in the tranny stockings and a maid outfit, staring intently at his buddy > idea.jpeg > "is that your boyfriend" > dudes face goes bright red, hatsnatch fatfag loses his shit > " THAT IS MY GIRLFRIEND AND HER NAME IS EMBER" > " Ember has a fucking beard bro, embers got balls." > hatsnatch gets in my face, reeks like B.O and cheese > " How dare you blah blah blah, you piece of shit, blah blah blah" > I take his dumb hat, Legend of Zelda beanie, off his head > soaking > fucking > wet > with > sweat > I ignore it. Hold the fucking thing and try not to gag. Demand my hat back > retard throws it at the ground by my feet > he steps on it as I bend down to grab it, demands that I apologize to his fat fag Troon bf > push him slightly to get hat > falls over on back. Slams himself on floor and Screams as loud as he can > " IVE BEEN ASSAULTED. IVE BEEN ACCOSTED, I NEED HELP. I NEED HEEEEEEEELP. SUBJECT MALE, SUBJECT WHITE, I NEED HELP etc." > I throw his hat in the trash and put mine back on, head to class and never see him or his buddies again > or so I thought > 6 months later be on tinder > he's on tinder as a woman looking for other women > tranny dumped him > now he's a tranny > looking for another tranny > still got my hat > still remember the sweat > still wash my hands every time I'm near someone like that I got way more like this, coming from the south to liberal central cali for my dad's work
>In 2005, I fucked Mike V on the train tracks behind a Ross Dress for Less. >Man, his ass could grip. Real tight, not a hair on it, and a sphincter you could only dream of. >I had fun at first. But he was so weirdly macho about it. >He kept saying things like "thats right bitch, am I gonna make you nut?" and "fucking fag I bet you can't wait to bust in my fat hairy man ass hahaha faggot". >I just ignored him and kept railing. He continued unironically calling me his bitch and a fag as he had several hands free prostate orgasms spilling seminal fluids onto the train tracks, getting more angry and dominant after each one. >"Yea i bet you like dudes. You look like a pussy" he'd say "I cant even feel your limpdick bitch." I just kept clapping, wondering wtf is up with him. >After about 20 minutes of railing Mike's boypussy, drenched in sweat and his cream, I finally got a nut off despite his constant berating and degrading comments. >He immediately hopped off, laid flat on his back and bent his legs over his head so the cum dripped out of his asshole directly into his mouth. "The fuck you looking at? You like this gay boy?" He kept saying. After he got every last drop. >He cackled like a rooster and punched me in the face as hard as he could. He nearly broke his hand, but I was fine. "Fucking fag" he said as he limped off into the sunset, shaking his wrist. >That was the first and last time I fucked Mike V on the train tracks behind the Ross Dress for Less
Xavier Moore
I might as well just fucking blow my brains out because he would have been taller than me.
Eli Morris
Literally irrelevant garbage that made me laugh hard on a train. Based Ross poster
>stand up to someone making fun. of your wife >Approach the guy and proceed to tell them a story about a jackass you know lol what?
Power level stories? I got a few of them cause I can't keep my mouth shut. >be 2017 >hanging with land whale friend on the porch >Six nigger walk down the sidewalk >start gawking and one says out loud, "she looks like a cheeseburger" lol >let slip out with a smile on my face >"at least she's not black" >niggers teens stop >half looked shocked I said something back, other half look pissed >"ayy 'old up I think he called us a black somethin'" >think shit I'm about to half to fight 7 nigroids, might as well go down in a blaze of glory >"no I said at least she's not a nigger" >blacks start approaching the porch >chimp out in progress >look around for something to defend myself with >pick up landwhales dad's hatchet he used to chop wood out back >nigs back off and start just making threats and calling me names >say I look like a biker motherfucker? >eventually they throw a moutain dew bottle at the porch and take off running >Cheeseburger woman thanks me and we order a pizza that she eats most of
Gavin Flores
called my last boomer boss a massive raging nigger faggot sex predator the look on his face was priceless
Aaron Turner
only real story in this thread
Alexander Williams
my existence pissed liberals off. all i have to do is go to the bar and talk to their women who happily engage in friendly discourse. females dont care about politics as much as yall might think, if they think you are funny and or attractive, they will look past politics.
source: been fucking liberal college girls for over a decade in the town i live in. converted most of them
> most importantly he had MY FUCKING HAT IN HIS HAND I'm struggling to understand this, why didn't you punch this fat faggot at this specific momentt?
Jaxon Carter
>>in sauna with only other white men >>guy makes a joke related to pigs >>i make a comment about animal farm off of it >>conversation turns to how communism is taking over united states >>talk about being discriminated at work and school for being white, barely any white guys at either >>say it's just like in russia when they slaughtered white christians >>they are confused say everyone was white >>i say no the regime was led by jews it's why hitler was afraid of them along with them bankrupting germany and publicly saying they wanted to slaughter the germanic race >>say same thing is happening here >>no one gets mad
Liam Campbell
Kek, good story.
Daniel Barnes
>be at a restaurant with some friends i haven't seen in a while >some women, some men, naturally men get to politics within an hour >have zero interest in political parties or personalities as it's all just a puppet show >say i don't care who's in power, they are all socialists/statists anyway >friend asks why i think it's like that >no fucks given i say that women mostly vote pro-socialisy because they love security and gibs >expect the women to chimp out right away >get mostly no reaction, and one girl actually agrees >asks if i think women shouldn't vote >to avoid a shitshow i just say nobody should vote because democracy is bullshit I was surprised. I was sure I'd get some serious shit from someone there.
Jacob Edwards
Not a public store, but here goes >be at home for a day off >live in suburbia, but at least I have a house >leave the main door open because it’s beautiful out, storm door closed but glass rolled back so air can get through the screen >my dog (malinois mix mutt I found as a pup on the roadside) sitting at the door watching the neighborhood >I’m upstairs doing laundry when she starts going apeshit >here unmistakable nigger voice yelling at her on my front porch >“SHUTCHA BITCH ASS UP MUHFUGGA” >nigger kicks my door >grab my rifle from the bedside >come down the stairs, see he has a flyer for bullshit magazine subscriptions >he again kicks my door and calls my dog a bitch 1/2 con’t
Christopher Jackson
You made this threat on pol to complain that some fat chick picked on you at the grocery store. Pathetic.
Sage
Angel Long
>I tell her to heel and throw open the door, rifle pointed at the jigaboo’s chest >“AYO MAN WHATDAFUG?!” >nudge him backward with the muzzle, take my dog’s collar as she’s snapping and barking at him >he stumbles off my stairs and falls, says “AHW GOT DAMN” as he wangs his elbow on the concrete >gets up and starts running >I shout “Don’t come back, NIGGER!” >never see groid peddlers in my neighborhood again I don’t know if any of my neighbors saw what happened, but I do know that they act strange around me now. Worth it, desu.
Ethan Martin
I haven't hid mine in ages. I don't run around openly making conflict, but I tell the truth about globohomo whenever it comes up. I'm to retarded to lie, essentially to myself.
Tyler Martin
This essentially, I'm too fucking dumb and I refuse to lie or hide my power level, often to my detriment.
