I am the very model of a Russian Major General, My standing on the battlefield is growing quite untenable, My forces though equipped and given orders unequivocal, Did not expect the fight to be remotely this reciprocal,
I used to have a tank brigade but now I have lost several, My fresh assaults are faltering with battle plans extemporal, I can’t recover vehicles but farmers in a tractor can, It’s all becoming rather reminiscent of Afghanistan,
My ordnance is the best but only half my missiles make it there, I would have thought by now that we would be controllers of the air, But at the rate the snipers work my time here is ephemeral, I am the very model of a Russian Major General!
I am the very model of a modern Major-General I've dilation vegetable in vaginal, from genital I know the kings of England, but I change the facts Historical From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters problematical I understand pervasions, both the simple and the radical About bi-genderal theorem I'm steaming with a lot o' fumes And fourty-six percent a chance I'll end it with a tightened noose
I'm very good at entering all differential crapulous I make up scientific names of genders femimasculous In short, I batter vegetable in vaginal, from genital I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I know our mythic history, Queen Arthur's and Xir Caradoc's Enhancer diagnostics, we're committing to cut off our cocks I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of people mad at us Ebonics I implore a form of charity parabolous
I can tell unfounded kinds of smells are pouring out from parts of me I know the croaking from the Frogs of Any Forums's laughing neet But I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore And thistle all the hair on out from where my penis was before
Then I can write white-washing bills in Babylonic cuneiform And tell you ev'ry detail of what to say and yes, your uniform In short, I batter vegetable in vaginal, from genital I am the very model of a modern Major-General
In fact, when I know what is meant by "ma'amelon" and "Masculine" When I can tell at sight a trouser eyeful in my next of kin When such affairs at forty no surprises I'm a fairy man And when I know precisely what is meant by "I'm American"
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern buggery When I know more of asses than an expert of a plumbery In short, when I've a smattering of governmental strategies You'll say a better Major-General had never cut his thing
From my pilpulary knowledge, know I'm lucky, live in luxury I've only been brought up to the great value of the century But still, I batter vegetable in vaginal, from genital I am the very model of a modern Major-General
Send wave after wave of soldiers to die. Equipment keeps breaking down. Soldiers eventually refuse to go further. High ranking officers try to raise morale or “get the job done themselves”. Only to get btfo’d by an artillery strike or a sniper.
There’s a reason leaders don’t lead from the front anymore. It’s far better to have guys who can command the big picture from a few miles back than get taken out and throw a spanner in the works of your own army
