If you don't clean your ass with water then you can't call yourself civilized

Having a dirty shit crusted asshole is barbaric and cannot be tolerated.

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Until you can press a button and have a tiny robot pop out to gently punt you in the taint while whistling the theme to Atom Boy you may as well be shitting in the street

Agreed. If you don't have a bidet you're basically a car-driving fucking caveman.

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>he doesn't even have a mexican housemaid to clean his ass for him
Ask me how I can tell you're poor.

Bidets are fucking retarded. Wad up some tp and run some hot water over it. Makes for a much better wipe than I high pressure water jet penetrating your anus

The shit gets all over the place.. but I agree its good. The secret though for me is the shit before shower method.

I'm just gonna assume that's the hemorrhoids talking, user.

>mexishitter
I upgraded to a ukranian, she does it with her tongue

Why does it matter? It's a shit hole. A hole for shit to come out of.
The only people who are worried about having a dirty asshole are people that play with it.

Having a squeaky clean asshole is about the gayest thing you could do short of fucking a man's dirty asshole.

lick my asshole clean, bitch boy. give me a reach around and make me fucking CUM H A R D.

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There are many shitcrusted men of color from other nations. It is their birthright to smell of unwashed ass

Toilet paper is for subhuman’s

>sprays water all of their asshole
This is why you fuckers stink like shit. The water splatters stupid. tiny poopy water particles splash all over you.

It's called medicated wipes, dude. Gets me clean without spraying fecal particles all over the place like those disgusting bidet things.

fuck off
basil

TP is designed to disintegrate when wet, that shit doesn't work and it leaves specs of shitty paper on your ass.

Unironically though mine did give me hemmroids.

I was told it was gonna be a life changing device but honestly it does maybe 5-10% better than going in dry. If I take a peanut butter shit it still requires a proper shower to really get it.

>SHOOT THE WATER UP YOUR ASS

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Naww that's kinda like getting your butthole peed on which is gay bro

I generally clean my ass after the poo, with water. The only reason is I find paper irritating.
I like a nice clean white asshole.
Then all day long I think about how the butthole of other people might be much less clean than mine, which makes me feel superior and confident. Also, it makes cute female look dirty as fuck when you think about it..

>Take morning shit
>Take morning shower
Nuff said.

Kek
I fucking love this place.

Unless you also shave between your buttcheeks, your asshole hair is still covered in shit. We use soap and shampoo in the shower for a reason.

Don't bideis make your plumbing harder to clean?

if you eat well, your shit will be solid and just dry enough that your asshole will need minimum tissue paper to wipe it clean.

wats the reference ?

notice how french people ask for the reference all the time ?

also notice that I am under modafinil while typing here ?

also notice me senpai

That’s why people have dogs

>Then all day long I think about how the butthole of other people might be much less clean than mine, which makes me feel superior and confident.
wft did i just read? you're a weird one, baguetteanon.

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i clean my ass with a potato, nature's soap and sponge

I poop my pants and sit in it for hours straight. Wife is a freak and she gets turned on by it

I like to shit in the shower and push it down the drain with my foot , especially at the gym

bake it first and you have a natural deodorant
irish scented

He's not wrong though. Being the one person with a clean anus in a sea of shitty (literally) people is quite reassuring.

>user doesnt have a superior poo smasher

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I am telling you the truth yep.
Also lately I was wondering about colleagues and their buttholes, how could they have a butthole as nice as mine? Do they have some sort of a magic technique to make it magiquely pristine? Do they always have perfect molded poo which doesn't stain their anus periphery? Like some perfect aryan race butthole which would never get stained? Always wondering

To be fair, I wipe so thoroughly that I wind up cleaning my ass with blood.

I wash my ass with diet coke

k, but i have hepres

I use water wipes

Or those tiny rolls of TP on the floor
My wife “ what are those little rolled up pieces of TP I keep finding on the bathroom floor?”
Me “ iduhno”

Personally I prefer Clorox wipes, or Lysol ones in a pinch. Or I'll soak a paper towel in the juice at the bottom of the container. The burn is how you know you're really getting clean. Feels good like rubbing alcohol on a cut.

I like you

You have hair in your asshole ewww are you arabic

I use baby wipes after there is no more smeared shit on the toilet paper. It is 100% sanitized. My asshole is cleaner than ANY eurotwinks.