/jdt/ - Nick Offerman edition

this is DAY 3 of WEEK FIVE
(Day 18)

Amber Heard testified for three days before cross
Camille dropped some bombs and made a fool of Amber and her attorneys
afterwards we moved on to some video depositions

those video depositions continue today, unfortunately
let's all simmer down now and have a nice clean day in court

Livestream source:
youtube.com/watch?v=fLhLoWICOA8

Commentary stream with exhibits:
(Rekieta Law)
youtube.com/watch?v=vgjwReE369M

Johnny Depp is going to be called back as a witness, it's been rumoured
>According to reporting by Law & Crime, Depp will also be called back to the witness stand as part of Heard’s case.
>The jury will also hear from Whitney Henriquez, Heard’s sister, and actor Ellen Barkin, with whom Depp had a brief relationship in the 1990s.
SOURCE: independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/johnny-depp-amber-heard-trial-news-start-time-testimony-b2079719.html

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OBLIGATORY:

>"She is begging for global humiliation," Depp's text said.

>"She is going to get it. I'm going to need your texts from San Francisco brother ... I'm sorry to even ask ... but she sucked Mollusk's crooked dick and he gave her some shitty lawyers."

>Wolanski told the court "Mollusk" was a reference to Elon Musk, the billionaire Tesla co-founder.

>"I have no mercy, no fear and not an ounce of emotion or what I thought was love for this gold-digging, low-level, dime-a-dozen, mushy, pointless, dangling, overused flappy fish market," Depp's message continued.

>"I'm so happy she wants to go to fight this out. She will hit the wall hard.

>"And I cannot wait to have this waste of a cum-guzzler out of my life. She will hit the wall hard.

>"I met a fucking sublime little Russian here ... which made me realise that time I blew on the 50-cent stripper ... I would not touch her with a goddamn glove.

>"I can only hope that karma kicks in and takes the gift of breath from her. Sorry man, but now I will stop at nothing."


BONUS ROUND:

>Depp’s original text read, “Hopefully that cunt’s rotting corpse is decomposing in the fucking trunk of a Honda Civic!!”

>“I will fuck her burnt corpse afterwards to make sure she is dead.”

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these video shits are boring as sin

Broly won.

Check em

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based baker using my edit, thank you for your service.

>Mr Drew, did you see Mr Depp strike Miss Heard?
>No
>Did Mr Depp ever throw a phone at Miss Heard?
>No
>Did Mr Depp ever call Miss Heard a whore or slut?
>Only if she deserved it
>Did she deserve it, in your opinion?
>Absolutely
>How would you describe Amber Heard?
>Cringe
>How would you describe Johnny Depp?
>Based
>"Based", Mr Drew?
>Exceedingly

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Claiming Chanley before the roll is posted.

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Amber is so beautiful and vulnerable bros!

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The horror

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PORTEND

>"Miss Heard, what day is it?"
>Smacks her lips
>Takes a deep breath
>Turns towards the jury
>Puts on a condescending smile
>"I believe it is in fact Wednesday ;)"
>Turns back around with a self-satisfied grin

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No, it does not “portend” indeed.

oh no he scribbled on his countertop, what a terrible human being

THIS CASE IS COOKED, AMBER

He seems like a pretty decent dude. How did he ever get caught up into the same circle as people like Raquel and Amber?

this

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I raise objection to my post

She's a fucking psycho but sure!

Impressive. Very nice.

amber is a real bookworm i hear

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is this a meme or real lmao

goddamn

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No wonder why Depp is so paranoid being surrounded by these deceitful pyscopathic demons constantly. He's clearly a genuine guy.

These fucking degenerates lived rent free, used his drugs ate his food and drank his alcohol and now have the audacity to talk garbage

Extremely accurate post

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>Dr Curry
>Camille
>now her
I love being straight

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Claiming Shannon before roll is posted

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why does this testimony make me wanna order sushi?

why does she talk like a 12 year old?

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>Nick Offerman
I was thinking Zach Galifianakis. He lacks the deep voice of Offerman

drugs, shitty music, living proximity, his ability to cook

don't forget the cop from the Rittenhouse case

A mee mee

>

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My angel wife

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OP I love you, thanks for making these and putting some happiness into my life

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Because she's a woman

The countertop writing looks like the black mirror writing, but not the cutesy pink mirror writing.
Interesting.

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The ;) really drives it home

Oh no no no no dep bros we got to cocky

yeah that's fucking unbelievable to me. what a bunch of ungreatful fucks

addicts stop maturing when they start using. common AA/NA saying. basically you stunt your maturity as an addict, so she probably started on drugs very young and just hasn't matured.

Comfy live threads like this on Any Forums are the closest thing I have to family

wonder if ambers cooking hobby was stolen from him
BPDs always imitate

Damn those are some terrible black eyes she got

>*TING ting TING*
Gentlemen may I have your attention, I have an announcement to make.

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pls leave us in privacy at this time

kind of an ugly apartment, all these pictures don't look like the place was all that nice

Is that a stick figure or a pin on an X?

Remember, ALL of these people are living completely free in these apartments that belong to Johnny. They didn't have to pay a single cent.

Can anyone fill me in on what the fuck has happened with these depos?

I kinda just listened (background noise) and so far all I got was:
>"yes, Amber Heard also told me the shit Amber Heard claimed happened"
>"No, I did not ever see any physical violence"
>"No, we are no longer friends"

How the fuck are these witnesses for AH?

Johnnys witnesses in contrast:
>Best friend who still loves him
>Loyal bodyguards who attest to his kind nature
>Experts who are more or less neutral agreeing that they never saw any visible marks/bruises
>"No medical reports backing up AHs claims"

Are they just here so the Jury can be reminded of her ""claims"""" or what? Jury's mind is already likely made up based on the grilling she got.

The Jury is most likely looking for just ONE witness who can attest to seeing literally anything?

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third time's the charm, hello waifu

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Did we ever get into Depp drinking tea, like a LOT of tea?

oh we're going to look at the same pictures for 2h again, reminds me of the Chauvin trial

Fun so far.

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same :3 i enjoy hurricane threads a lot too.

That just means Johnny is a moron for letting them in.

better version

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nice, thx
Ill keep that in mind

wasn't that stolen from a movie too

Plus drink his booze and do his drugs

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Elaine's getting a bit worried, Drew won't confirm that he remembers the injuries in the pics.

Hmm. He's probably a pretty good chef if he staged at The French Laundry

Johnny’s terrible taste in all things makes him approachable, it’s endearing

sex

what a fucking dumb cunt

Careful there, You're about to escape the matrix

cheers lad

LEAVE AMBER ALONE!

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i feel it

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It does seem pretty nasty. I guess if you're drunk or high the whole time, you don't give a shit about your surroundings.

Absolutely no idea. Could even be a weird exclamation point.

She has a very specific type of penmanship

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fuck they got me

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I like all the weather livestream stuff especially tornadoes since I live in Tornado Alley.

Depp's side is all paid for, according to Heard's lol

rocky probably stole from the weed closet
this guy says they all had keys to the place

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Oh it's a question mark. I am retarded.

And yet they're not afraid of testifying against him, that makes them more believable

They value truth more than free living

it's like a fucking ransom note

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>so you got a name or something?
>ummm... the Human Holocaust?
>jeez kid, you couldn't have picked something that actually happened?
it was a different time

ultimate mogging

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They don't live there anymore you dumb fuck

I have a retarded handwriting, but her "B" is the most infuriating thing I've seen all day.

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>>Best friend who still loves him
>>Loyal bodyguards who attest to his kind nature
>>Experts who are more or less neutral agreeing that they never saw any visible marks/bruises

So basically people who live on his monies?

>addicts stop maturing when they start using. common AA/NA saying.
that explains kids raised on amphetamines

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They have probably all been kicked out a long time ago when Amber initiated the divorce.

I know you're making fun of her, but there were literal police officers who also said she had fucking nothing lmfao.

Even her own fucking nurse!

TACO NIGHT

yooooo I've been blessed in this thread

see

Amber looking very happy at that big Mexican spread comment.

sexo sexo sexo

Lol "OTK" she's a twitchfag.

her tits look bigger in that sweater

>actually I do
wew

this guy is giving me mad senior dev shitting on the project manager in meetings vibes type of guy

The monster is back AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA

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DISCOMBOBULATE

very much so.

I bet his tacos are the shitty bastardized texmex version.

>The Poop incident
Here we go

>the poop incident

I love how Amber's mate who took the pics of her "bloody" ripped out hair said she knew it happened even though she didn't see it personally because "common sense".

Glad she approves of common sense, because I'm sure the jury will be applying some of that later on in relation to Amber's whole testimony.

POOOOP TIME

Gee o wonder why is that

>THE POOP INCIDENT
THE POOP INCIDENT
>THE POOP INCIDENT
THE POOP INCIDENT

>THE POOP INCIDENT

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Those police officers were rushing and didn't care. Heard confirmed it herself!
The nurse was selected by Depp, she had no choice!!!

P O O P I N C E D E N T

>monies
fucking ESLs.

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IT'S NOT HIS NORMAL MODE

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She's no longer friends with any of them since the gibs dried up with Johnny giving them a free penthouse

>She has a very specific type of penmanship
it's called psychotic sociopath

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That much wine at 2:30pm, woo boy. I'd start drinking too to get through the day with her though.

More like in poopituity

time for poopgate

HELLO CAMILLE

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Depp admitted to writing the counter note during his direct exam iirc.
Try comparing the fappening note to the mirror lipstick note

white trash hollywooooooooood

this is abuse, I can't believe you'd just post this. You monster.

>your honor, he was in absolute Jack Sparrow mode

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it was
notting hill
julia roberts scene

lmao why wouldnt you get someone to take care of the fucking dogs when you are rich as fuck???

>the quads
I kneel

sleep tight johnny

THERE WAS PEE AND POOP ON EVERYTHING
>EVERYTHING

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kek

hot

>ywn do yoga, paint and make necklaces in Johnny Depp's apartment, rent free.

I wish Dead Men’s Chest was on Tubi or something. The cannibal escape is one of my favorite scenes from those movies.

I can't stand this asshole

Sleep tight johnny

Art imitates reality, or reality imitates art?

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ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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Imagine living your life, taking pictures of people sleeping, but not taking pictures of abuse towards yourself.

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>the Johnny of peaceful naps
Sleep tight, Johnny.

CHECKED

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FUck dont compare the 2

>Willing to falsify documents in order to smuggle the dogs into Australia
>Unwilling to pay for a dogsitter
Supremely shitty people

the F of fraud is quite similar in her love notes from the journal yesterday

What a cuck

Sleep tight, Johnny.

>The 2016 Amber Heard "Poop" Incident

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Blasphemy Retard

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They were indigenous tribe, respect their tradition you absolute bigot

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I DIDN'T FEEL THREATENED

bet she kicks those dogs when they don't give her attention

courttv babe

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I feel bad for Elaine. Has to make a fool of herself because her client has nothing legitimate other than her own unverifiable stories which are already proven to be laced with constant lies. No way you can do your job well as a lawyer while working with that.

No?

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levidia's what i use for most non-chinese cartoon shit

I WAS JUST COOKING TACOS FOR AMBER

.>To be honest, I was feeling aroused when he spit on me, your honor

im learning, sisters

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>the girls

Grade. A. Simp.

those lawyers hate amber
all they have to do is ensure a constitutional trial

>Let's settle this the old fashion way
>Your best fighter against mine

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No ass, but still pretty kino shot

>Using a video depositions from 2019
>Can't be cross examined
Amber's team must be truly desperate.

good luck, thats some of the most complicated law you can study.