There was this dude he hung out with in Cky called "Mike Vallely", and he was the douchiest blowhard I've ever seen.
He was a 5'8" balding manlet who looked like he hit the gym maybe twice a week to do only chest and arms, and he would get super aggro over nothing in order to look like the "tough one" of the crew; which isn't really much of an accomplishment, because the bar isn't set very high in the first place. His accomplishments included scattering 4 timid teenagers by flailing his arms like a windmill, and shoving a middle-aged mall cop away while the security guard was just trying to do his job.
He also had a brief stint as a hockey enforcer, where presumably his appreciation for violence might serve some sort of purpose, but then, to absolutely NO ONE'S surprise, the MOMENT he had to fight someone as strong, or stronger than him, who was equally as fond of violence as he was, he got his shit pushed in regularly. Never won a single fucking hockey fight in his life and was CONSTANTLY getting thrown to the ice.
The guy was the definition of coked up blowhard.
Mike Vallely, ladies and gentlemen. A possible contender for "faggiest skater in all of existence". Possibly faggier than even Bam Margera himself.
In 2005, I fucked Mike V on the train tracks behind a Ross Dress for Less. Man, his ass could grip. Real tight, not a hair on it, and a sphincter you could only dream of. I had fun at first. But he was so weirdly macho about it. He kept saying things like "thats right bitch, am I gonna make you nut?" and "fucking fag I bet you can't wait to bust in my fat hairy man ass hahaha faggot". I just ignored him and kept railing. He continued unironically calling me his bitch and a fag as he had several hands free prostate orgasms spilling seminal fluids onto the train tracks, getting more angry and dominant after each one. "Yea i bet you like dudes. You look like a pussy" he'd say "I cant even feel your limpdick bitch." I just kept clapping, wondering wtf is up with him. After about 20 minutes of railing Mike's boypussy, drenched in sweat and his cream, I finally got a nut off despite his constant berating and degrading comments. He immediately hopped off, laid flat on his back and bent his legs over his head so the cum dripped out of his asshole directly into his mouth. "The fuck you looking at? You like this gay boy?" He kept saying. After he got every last drop. He cackled like a rooster and punched me in the face as hard as he could. He nearly broke his hand, but I was fine. "Fucking fag" he said as he limped off into the sunset, shaking his wrist. That was the first and last time I fucked Mike V on the train tracks behind the Ross Dress for Less
He seems like a genuinely good guy overall. All of us have had our bad days and moments of weakness. Let it go already fucking spergs. youtu.be/GsJinmKZ5f0
Logan Wilson
Mike V poster = Steve Berra
Juan Fisher
dafuk timmy gon do
Noah Johnson
my fucking sides
Luke Barnes
Mike V is a big time faggot. I'm sure i shared this before but in the early 2000s i was skating Hollywood High with some friends- we were at some smaller stair sets in the back not where the huge stair set where everyone films is. I've ran into a lot of ams/ pros in those days and they've always been cool, the ones who weren't like Greco or a few others kinda just kept to themselves- but usually someone else in their crew would be cool with us so it was fine. But i digest... So we're skating and we see him and one of my friends was like "oh shit its Mike V" and like a little bitch - in a very whiney voice he goes "Yes its me Mike V, everyone just stop what you're doing and interrupt what I'm doing because I'm Mike fucking V. NO you can;'t have my board, NO you can't have my autograph, I'm just here to skate. GOT THAT?" We kinda just gave him an "alright bro" and kept it moving- but because of that incident i couldn't fucking stand his ass
Your friend sounds like a dork. Shoulda told him to be cool and stfu instead of trying to be a groupie.
Carter Reyes
I met Mike V in 2000 when Millz opened up and he was such a fucking stuck up insufferable asshole to all the locals. He just skated by himself because he was a too cool for school tuff guy while Hawk and Reynolds were engaging the locals and signing autographs and taking pictures. Mike V pretty much talked to nobody other than the pros he toured with. He gathered everyone around the bathtub bowl because he was going to tail drop or caveman from the pedestrian bridge above into the bowl and pussied out wasting like a half hour of peoples time. I heard he went back the next day and did it but i'm still very skeptical. Watching Hawk skate the big boy full pipe section was life changing, though. He's so pathetic he can't even make money for himself, he has to get his daughter to do everything for him.
He was mad that they wouldn’t gangbang his boipussy
Connor Hill
Got a mike vallely and bam margera story from '01 >be me >skater from rural PA >know people who hung out with Bam and his band of faggots >see them around once in a while in downtown West Chester >hang out at alot of the same places in the late 90's early 00's, Chester Heights, Haverton etc; >go to an abandoned school in the outskirts of Pottstown to skate >19 at the time >Bam and some of his crew show up to get footage but they forgot their batteries >they come up to me and my friends and ask if they could borrow our batteries >"sorry bro we're on our last battery and we're finishing up" >Bam is cool with it and walks away tells us good luck, offers us some beer >he goes back to his crew and suddenly this old fucking manlet rushes up to us screaming about us lying about our batteries >my friend goes to show him the battery level and he slaps the camera out of his hand shoving him >Bam goes to grab him and he rushes toward us so I head butt him and punch him in the mouth >he goes stiff and falls over huffing and puffing >out cold >my friends grab me and a small scuffle ensues but everyone chills out and we leave before the manlet wakes up >on the car ride home my friend sais "oh shit joe that's mike vallely, you knocked him the fuck out LOLOL" >literally didn't recognize him, thought he was just a old faggot hanging out with a bunch of kids
