Hi user! This thread is about the 2008 war in Georgia. Let's look at the events of those years together. Let's draw parallels with what is happening now in Ukraine. Let's throw some shit.
I'll post key events here. Information taken from the Russian lurk.
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The war in South Ossetia (patriotic. Compulsion for Peace, Liber. Occupation of Apsua and Samachablo) was a military conflict in August 2008 as part of an operation to force Georgia to peace. It is notable for the fact that it caused both patriotic enthusiasm and butthurt on both sides of the political spectrum.
Tskhinval(i) (r. Georgian scrib. ცხინვააი) was the capital of the southern slice of Ossetia, the site of the main drama of the past war.
Causes of the conflict
After the collapse of the Soviet Union, the Republic of Georgia lost the provinces of South Ossetia and Abkhazia. Adjara seemed to have tried something too, but did not want to secede from Georgia, as every Adjarian family had at least a couple of people living permanently in Tbilisi and regularly visiting their own in Batumi and other cities. Everything remained on "special" terms for the local czar of the time, Abashidze. It was a la Kadyrov - kind of in line, but he did what was on his mind. He was eventually kicked out by the locals themselves, with the support of Tbilisi.
There was nothing unique about this situation - Russia shat itself just as much in Chechnya, and there were similar cases in the rest of the CIS, Moldova and Transnistria, for example. And in the Russian Federation there have been some fairly daring cases, such as the war between North Ossetia and Ingushetia, where one constituent entity of the Russian Federation fought with another constituent entity of the Russian Federation over three and a half villages. But unlike Russia, Georgia could not regain what it had lost and held a grudge.
It should be noted that in contrast to Abkhazia, which was once an independent (or dependent - from the Ottoman Empire) principality, the SO was never an independent state (first part of the ancient Georgian Iberia, then united Georgia, then the kingdom of Kartli and Kakheti), appeared due to the policy of "divide and conquer", and plus gratitude to the Ossetians for the establishment of Soviet power in Georgia.
After becoming masters in Georgia, the racial Georgians became concerned about all non-Georgians and set out to subject them to anal punishment and extermination. The latter, to the best of their ability, responded in kind.
Since then, both sides have been actively engaged in a pinus contest. Actually Georgians have longer, but Abkhazians and Ossetians are using Russian one, which is long enough to reach Tbilisi from Moscow and arrange prophylaxis of prostatitis there. Annoyed with this fact, Saakashvili was bitten by the American spam to increase his pinus.
Meanwhile, the U.S. and Europe finally got tired of cleaning up the shit that had formed after the Serbs were kicked out of Kosovo's territory in 1999 and in February 2008 recognized the latter's independence. Putin and Medvedev were very upset for their Slavic brothers and hinted to the West that recognizing Kosovo's independence could have far-reaching consequences in the Caucasus.
Obviously, this story could not but make the Georgians shit bricks, and passions around the unrecognized republics heated up even more. In August 2008, President Saakashvili decided that the "X-hour" had arrived - while Bush and Putin were boozing at the Olympics in Beijing, Georgia was left without oversight of the Big White Bwana.
Preparing for Conflict
Within a few years, Saakashvili sawed off many political opponents as well as former supporters and spent up to 30% of the country's budget buying Turkish M4s, Taiwanese toy collimators, Bulgarian AKs, South African helmets, The poor no-name copies of American MARPAT uniforms and IBA bulletproof vests, new Jewish and used Czech machine guns, old Czech self-propelled vehicles, which even the USSR rejected, plus the construction of the fortification near South Ossetia, as well as other and other bullshit. In addition his cousin Yushchenko has gifted some Ukrainian Buk-M1 with their crews right out of combat duty, and a shitload of T-72's (Sic), modernized by Jews, for free. People began to think about where to pack up.
Shortly before that, the Russian government, sensing that there was a smell of kerosene and that some profit could be made from the growing Ossetian-Georgian conflict, had begun building military bases in Abkhazia and South Ossetia. Also, any Abkhazian or Ossetian had the right to change their old Soviet passports for a new Russian one, which led to the fact that the population of these two regions is almost entirely Russian citizens, and even the border is crossed in both directions without any visa, as long as they have the precious booklet with the double-headed eagle.
# Conflict IRL
The Georgians pounced, but then the Russian army with tanks, planes, angry Chechens and paratroopers arrived and bent the Georgians into a knee-jerk position almost all the way to Tbilisi. Program of the event:
## Beginning
Between 22:45 and 23:30 on August 7, the Georgians shelled a bunch of villages and Tskhinvali, causing a shitload of bricks to be thrown at the observers there. The Ossetians reported 2,000 dead, which of course did not happen, as most of the residents had evacuated the city or taken shelter in basements beforehand.
## 08/08/08
At about 00:15 on August 8, in an unfettered violation of the Olympic ceasefire, Georgian troops attacked the Russian peacekeepers' outpost, Tskhinvali(i) and several other strategically important points, like the alcohol factory. Despite the good artillery preparation, there was no easy walk. On the outskirts of Tskhinvali, the Georgians had lost several tanks, and it was reported that American instructors had been spotted among the crews of the downed vehicles, something both sides fiercely, frantically denied the next day. It is not quite clear why they had to go directly to the battlefield, apparently they decided to lead the operation directly from the middle of events, like Chapaev in front of his cavalry. No one was expecting anything further.
The peacekeepers' base also fought back; the base commander, K. A. Timerman, claimed that despite his wounds, he personally shot six Georgians before he was forcibly dragged off the battlefield.
On 10:00, 1,500 elite fighters of the Georgian Fourth Brigade, supported by several tanks, had pompously overpowered the resistance of 3.5 Ossetian militias (the army had gone somewhere at that point, according to local officers - about 300 armed fighters were left in town for mobile defense a la Grozny-95, and all five remaining Ossetian tanks, And still they reached the center of Tskhinvali, where all of a sudden they encountered Russians they did not expect in any way - in the form of a battalion of the 135th Independent Motorized Rifle Regiment.
In general, this was a peacekeeping regiment. Additional forces had been brought in by midday. Low-intensity fighting continued throughout the day and into the night. At the same time, it began bombing the Georgian bases and, according to the oscilloscope's arrow, the stronghold near South Ossetia. In general, instead of capturing Djava, which is both smaller and strategically more important, the Georgians were carried into Tskhinvali itself, which is certainly a mistake if you look at the map of South Ossetia.
## 09/08/08
The Georgians had brought all their combat-ready troops into Tskhinvali, and had achieved a local epic win. They attacked and looted a Russian military kowtowel commanded by General Khrulev. Khrulev was seriously wounded and his deputy killed, and of the 24 vehicles, only 5 made it to their destination. Only three were killed, however, while the Georgians lost their last eighteen Special Forces.
The rest of Georgia's combat-ready units at the time were selling pissed gasoline in Iraq and were not involved in the war for Ossetia. In the best traditions of that country, the Russians took offense, staged a zerg rush and kicked the Georgians out of the city center.
>We were going to Tskhinvali on an APC of the commander of the 58th Army, in a convoy of 30 combat vehicles... Suddenly I saw two Georgians near a hit tank. Then I looked closely: behind every pillar there were Georgians with submachine guns and machine guns. I said to the soldier sitting nearby: "Georgians". He shouted in a hysterical voice: "Georgians!" The convoy stopped. "Get to the cars!" the commander shouted. We ran up to the APC, but then the shooting started. We fell between the APC and the UAZ. I heard the windows of the UAZ cracking and realized that they were shooting at us. Together with Sladkov, a special correspondent from Vesti TV channel, his cameraman and two other journalists we ran to the concrete fence. All this was already happening in the streets of Tskhinvali. They fell down. "Oh, I'm hurt! - shouted the cameraman. - My hand is numb. He had a through and through wound in his shoulder... The Georgians immediately set two of our BMPs on fire. They were shooting, people and Georgians were falling all over the place.
Victim of a Georgian raid
General Khrulev personally shot someone and received some kind of order. Perhaps it was even a Georgian commando, but that doesn't diminish the genius of Khrulev and his officers for not bothering to scout the way. The Georgians proved to be rare motherfuckers, because you had to be completely fucked up to wreck an entire enemy column in five minutes and die heroically in the next five. Besides, according to the words of Alexander Kots, who was wounded in this battle, initially it turned out that a bunch of Russians were killed, which caused the drama. There is also an opinion that the dead special forces men were not exactly Georgians - after all, a successful raid on the enemy's commander-in-chief is an occasion for monuments and medals, even posthumously, but the details of the raid are carefully silenced both in Georgia and in Russia.
Simultaneously, at sea, the small missile ship Mirazh sank a Georgian missile boat and damaged another one. This is the KGB's version; whether or not it actually hit is unclear. Because the missile that was used to hit the missile boats lit up the entire radar. No one bothered to count how many dots had sailed off the radar screen during this time. Here, strangely enough, everything was done competently, we could have covered all five fucking boats with one salvo from the cruiser, but then it would have been five hero boats (in both senses of the word), but it was five boats of ordinary people, concerned about preserving the integrity of their asses.
Some believe that the Georgians were fighting on a Moldovan dry cargo ship, which was mopping up a piece of some missile. Recently, a video from the engine room of the Mirage during this "battle" surfaced on youtube and provided many lulz. The crew was wearing sweatpants and smashing their fists into the equipment to make it work. The knowledgeable people tried to explain that it was a normal high-speed calibration of the instruments in conditions close to combat, but their voices were drowned in shouts of dickheads, "LOLO RASHKA IS SUCKED AGAIN.
## 10/08/08
The Moskals sawed out all the Georgians they could find in Tskhinval(i) city limits. In response, the nationalist khokhlati anti-aircraft gunners shot down two of the moskali planes (Su-25 and Tu-22M3). The racially motivated Moskals didn't stay in debt and sawed down the unkilled anti-aircraft gunners, three or four more of their own planes, the Georgian cornplanes, a couple of military warehouses, someone's apartment in Gori and pretty much everything else that came along. They used guided missiles, zerg rushes by enlisted men and other kosher stuff. From the very beginning of the war the racial Chechen Nohchis from the Vostok and Zapad battalions were in the vanguard. Their equipment and weapons were slightly unusual, but they were eager to change Georgia's orientation as soon as possible.
## 11/08/08
The Georgians were finally kicked out of the suburbs of Tskhinvali, the villages of Kurta, Kekhvi, the Prisi Mountains and other original Ossetian shitholes that had been occupied by the Georgians for the past 2,000 years. The heroic anal retreat began. All Georgian armored vehicles were destroyed or seized, many Ukrainian trucks broke down because of the careful Georgian maintenance, so they fled in whatever way they could. Mostly they got away in shattered «ladas» taken from the locals.
This method even had some advantages, because Russian attack aircraft were actively flown in on those who were retreating in clear columns. The bravest of the brave attempted to gain a foothold in the village of Zemo-Khviti. A heavy onslaught of Chechen battalions drove them out, and at the same time upgraded their uniforms, weapons and vehicles. By the evening of August 11 the last Georgians had left the territory of the independent Republic of South Ossetia, the Russians stopped to take a break, and the Chechens began to scout for something else to loot on the other side of the border.
## 12/08/08
The Russians bombed Gori, Poti, Borjomi, Saakashvili was running from imaginary planes, and the Pindos began to realize that their favorite hand-picked Democrat had screwed up. Upon learning that they were running out of wine, the residents of Gori and the remnants of the Georgian army began to scatter. At this time, the Abkhaz natives of Abkhazia realized that they had a long-awaited chance, and recaptured the Kodori Gorge from Georgia, replenishing their army with trophy equipment. The Russian special forces immediately took advantage of this bridgehead and raided the Georgian military bases around Senaki and Poti, where they stored the protective anal plugs - the last hope of the Georgians before the inexorable advance of the Chechens. The last two Georgian helicopters were cut down and hundreds of loot were seized.
## 13/08/08
The Russians occupied Gori, raising hundreds of loot, while the Chechens kept moving toward Tbilisi. The Russian command had completely lost contact with its forward units by that time, thanks to Taburetkin's idea of relocating the General Staff. As a result, they continued to move towards Tbilisi without receiving new orders. And they would have taken it, if not for an unknown hero - a staff lieutenant in an UAZ car, who had caught up with the advanced columns and passed the order to stop the attack. Saakashvili secretly put a candle for the guy's health. Thus, the orientation of Georgia was not affected, which cannot be said about the military depots, which were swept clean. In an effort to keep up with the racial chuggers, the Russian paratroopers finally raided all the military depots in Senaki, where hundreds of American equipment and weapons were seized.
## 14/08/08
The Russians occupied Poti, where they fatally trolled the valiant Georgian army, blew up the entire Georgian underfleet and robbed all the coffers, including one American - five Humvees with some kind of electronic equipment, which the Americans immediately requested back and inevitably got an ass, since the Russian paratroopers had mysteriously lost it.
Message on pic:
>Comrade Georgians, learn the military in a real way. We' ll come and check it out!
A war with a beautiful aesthetic but half forgotten.
## 15/08/08
Loot was over, the Americans finally woke up and went into hysterics. The active phase of the war was over.
# Conflict on the Internets
They are.
## Connection
There are differences of opinion as to whether digital army communications should be considered part of the Internet, but the lulz began there.
For starters, the Russki General Staff was so busy making money that they fucked up all communication with the Caucasus Defense Forces and found out about the war around August 12, and some of the highest ranks even later.
Message on pic:
>Imperial Appetites
However, the lack of staff leadership in itself does not greatly affect the combat effectiveness of russki army, as even modern classics have pointed out:
> Remember, Sanya, in Russia it is useless to take over the headquarters - this is not Germany. Here the headquarters doesn't decide anything. That's when we're sweeping brooms in the village - the HQ, but when we're at war, everyone fights on their own! Without headquarters! And it's impossible to stop it. Everyone is autonomous.
**Pokrovsky A.M. «Korabl Otstoya»**
Since many officers were not trained enough to use the few working radios, coordination of troops was done using cell phones. When the Chechens once ran out of batteries and did not take the order not to take Tbilisi, there was a major shitstorm of bricks. A messenger was the only way to stop the brave dzhigits. The incident was also notable when five Russian tanks had stopped using their radios. They used Utyos to shoot back and forth to avoid getting lost. Three of the tanks got lost and joined the line of the retreating Georgian troops, mistaking them for one of their own. The Georgians, realizing they were being followed, threw so many bricks that they blocked the road and broke away from the unsuspecting pursuers.
Also, not many people know that in early August some departments of the General Staff started moving to a new building for some reason (the old one had been undergoing major repairs all summer). Among them were the Main Operations Directorate and the Main Organization and Mobilization Directorate. Thus, at the moment when the Georgian hail fell on Tskhinvali, most of the officers of the General Staff either enjoyed unscheduled days off or slept in Paziks standing in endless cowsheds along Znamenka Street.
Although the General Staff building itself had nothing to do with the command of the troops in this war, because the peace enforcement operation was fully developed, planned and executed by the 58th Army and approved by the General Staff back in July, and all direct control was exercised from the CP of the 58th Army and the North Caucasus Military District. That is why the General Staff was not needed during the first three days while the Georgians were being pounded in Tskhinvali and near the border. They were needed later, when it became urgent to decide what to do with Georgia next.
The Georgian HQ had also ruined expensive American installations, from which everything they could sell had magically evaporated. That served the Georgians poorly - Russians blasted the American cluster munitions they had far away from their positions with a tricky ray. The Georgians, who had stolen their EMP equipment, had no such cover, so many got their well-deserved shot in the ass.
## Ossetian girl
A little Ossetian (technically an American citizen) girl, who was staying in South Ossetia in the middle of the war and for some reason was not evacuated in early August and was in Tshinval when the war started (23:35), fucked up the US propaganda machine by saying on live TV in Pendostan that the war was started by the Georgians. According to Russian Fox's version, the host found nothing better to do than to deny the girl and her aunt the opportunity to continue the narrative. Racially double-crossing (Russian-speaking kikes, serving the Anglo-Saxons) American politicized bloggers immediately rushed to explain to Russian serfs that this was the way it was supposed to be, and that the bloody KGB had edited the straight-to-air tape.
But you can't fool YouTube! By the way, some channels in Russia did indeed broadcast a tweaked KGB recording that differed from the original in the timbre of the host's voice, which was given a mocking tone, and strange off-screen noises.
## 2,000 dead
The first information shit was made by the Ossetians, whom Saakashvili would not allow to sell smuggled cigarettes. They exaggerated their own losses from Georgian artillery shelling tenfold. And at the same time, a few particularly rabid Ossetian journalists and bloggers accused Russia of "betrayal" because it does not hit the rodents (most of the posts were deleted the next day, when they did start hitting them).
In the rotten brains of the posotreots, they instantly started a violent release of gases and cries of "On Tbilisi!". Subsequently, the terrible casualties and destruction were not confirmed, but since the fabulous accuracy of the Georgians allowed them to hit the European Commission observers with the first salvo, the case was hushed up.
## 2000 тaнкoв
Trying to justify the stupidity of his own general staff, Saakashvili gave an interview in which he said that the cunning Russians had brought 2,000 armored vehicles to Ossetia in advance. He later clarified that there were more tanks alone than the entire Russian army on the move. After Americans wagged their fingers at their temples, he retracted his words. And in vain, they did bring 2,000 tanks to Ossetia. True, in the north, and most of them during the war, but if the U.S. had supported them, no one would have given a fuck.
pic from chernobyl for lulz
## Iskander
The average level of depressiveness was related to that country's use of the racially correct Iskander operational-tactical missile system.
A Dutch journalist was in the central square of the Georgian city of Gori, where mobilized reservists were clustered, when a Russian missile with a shrapnel warhead suddenly fucked up the square. Of course, nobody gave a fuck about the dudes, but the Dutchman was taken care of. The pictures, which seemed to show pieces of the fallen missile, said that the cunning Russians had really tested their nano-missile on the Georgians.
It would seem that fuck it: after all "Iskander" is not included in any list of banned weapons, the mass use of the father of "Iskander" - the complex "Tochka-U" - did not embarrass anyone, and the journalist himself knew what he was getting into. However, for some reason, the Russian General Staff started to deny the use of the weapon, and called the pictures falsification. The slugfest about this went on for several years until it was confirmed firsthand that it was the Iskander.
## «Flashmob»
As soon as the pindos started talking in the mass media about how the bad Russians had attacked poor Georgia, the anonymous people, who are not fed, but let them fight, without taking their asses off the Internet, immediately organized a video- YouTube flash mob to "show the pindos the documentary material, as it really happened". Indeed, a couple of days later, the Pindos drilled their hand and admitted that, yes, it was a mistake, which raised the ego of the anonymous people involved to an exorbitant height.