well, since the world is about to end bros, I think I should get this off my chest and tell you about the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me in my life
>be 20 yr old NEET >parents very understanding, never pressured me to get a job >but my mom would always be on me about getting a girlfriend >tell her that I'm not the "chad" style of man, not easy to get girls (that's why I'm still a virgin) >she reassures me I'm very handsome >tells me to try looking for girls on dating sites, but I tell her I've already been using tinder for years with not even one date >fast forward 2 weeks >get a match on tinder finally >profile of a really cute girl names amber >we match and hit it off instantly >she likes everything I like, same anime and video games, talk for hours every night >try to set up a date >she keeps deflecting >eventually pressure her, she goes quiet >my mom comes into my den and admits that she was amber the whole time >tells me she just wanted to make me feel confident about talking to girls >later that day she drives me to dennys for dinner and jokingly calls it our "first date"
I just can't hold it in anymore, now you all know my pain and suffering
i shouldn't be laughing, I really shouldn't, this isn't funny. It, isn't.. Funny... Hahahahahhahhahahahahahahhhhhahahahhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhahhhahhhahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhahhhhhh
Zachary Morgan
Honestly OP you have a great mom, even if she does weird shit. Tell her you love her.
Join a gym, sculpt yourself into an amazing man physically and mentally. Not to get laid but to be the best version of you possible, and also to be prepared for SHTF. Then the girls will come to you, and you will have the strength and confidence to turn away all the ones that will ruin your life until you find one that you will be happy with.
It was penis inspection day at my school. When the nurse made sure my peeper could get hard, I poked her in the boob and freaked out thinking I got her pregnant and shuffled crying out from behind the privacy curtain with my pants around my ankles and most of the school saw.
Brody Rivera
Hey at least I had a date from one of these apps was late to it and spent all my money on music equipment prior and couldn’t pay for the dinner though
Jason Gray
I've been in love with my little half-sister for about two years now... We didn't see each other much growing up, but we've been living together for some time now and I just can't help it... I wish she was here right now, hopefully the world doesn't end before she comes back tomorrow...
I wish I was, user. I wish I was... I don't know, she's like my own little female clone, she reminds me so much of myself it's freaky. She's just cute and warm and we share pretty much all the same hobbies and tastes in stuff...
Angel White
what is that a real thing
Josiah Lewis
They still do penis inspection days in schools in Canada? What a backwards country you are. In the US we banned mandatory penis inspection days and haven’t had one since 2010.
Sebastian Hernandez
she should give you tipps. stupid cow that she doest come up with that obvious idea.
Isaac Cox
I'm a hardcore Deltarune fan, so many times I would even try to escape reality with lucid dreaming, I would be in Hometown where I would often train with Undyne in the police station and help Asgore with the flowers, but one day as I was talking to Susie, we went to my dormitory for a private talk. She immediately said, "You know you could live with us forever.." I gave her a confused look and she continued, "We understand that you live on earth and you REALLY wish to live here". I then said "How..How did you know?" She then giggled and said "Because we've been watching you, silly!"
This was a dream come true and I almost cried right there. She then said, "I talked with Sans and he agreed that you would be PERFECT for his grocy store, you just have to do...one thing". She then held my hand and looked deep into my eyes and said "...You have to kill yourself for the transfer to work correctly." I then gave her some questions, "How long do I have before the deal expires?" She then said "Sans said 3 months.." I added by saying "What's the most painless way?..." She giggled again, "Suicide will require pain buuut...if you want it quick...Get a gun and a nice shot to the head works.
I then agreed and she gave me a kiss on the forehead, "I know this will be tough but once it's over and done, you'll get to live here!" I then woke up and this was last week and i purchased a gun. I might actually kill myself because that dream just felt too real to be fake and my life isn't doing so grand.
Logan Anderson
> she's like my own little female clone user, you’re related to her, grew up in the same environment, and are genetically similar.
Matthew Garcia
>same anime
Yep I stopped reading there.
Nathan Myers
This is literally me and my sister in law. My wife knows if SHTF and she dies that her sis is the only person I'd want to rebound with.
Noah Powell
Perfection
Adrian Long
Balamb Garden version is better.
Leo Sanders
>user, you’re related to her Half-related... Same mom, different dad. >grew up in the same environment Nope, I just visited on occasion. >and are genetically similar. Why should that stand in the way of true love? :(
Jose Scott
Your mother is a wonderful person, you should be happy to be her son.
Levi Williams
perfect opportunity to bang her, hope you can still capitalize on it
Gavin Smith
my husband is a hardcore alcoholic and its hard to take care of him i went and took a nap today and when i woke up he was gone, i figured he walked to the store (he totaled our car last year) he still wasnt home half an hour later and im starting to get worried when the phone rings its the police, they found him wandering around the apartment complex banging on random peoples doors because he doesnt remember where we live we have lived here for 10 years he is crying and thinks ive been kidnapped the cops bring him back home and are really nice about it they act like they just found a lost kid he immediately went to bed so i didnt get to ask him what happened
Elijah Phillips
Ignore this faggot. Remain a NEET, smoke weed and play vidya. Working sucks giant donkey balls and women are total garbage
Austin Gomez
ur mom sounds pretty cute bro just work out and try to get a good job user, do it for yourself and your mom and maybe when you're like 30 you can get a qt 18-20 year old to wife up before she becomes an irredeemable slut that's my plan anyways GOD'S SPEED KIWI user
