I need help

Can someone please come pick me up? I really do not want to be on this island when WW3 breaks out. China has a weapon they literally call the Guam Express, I am going to ducking die surrounded by flips and fucking coconut crabs

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Just buy a plane ticket out.

just be yourself, bro

Just get a sail boat
If you can't buy one then chop down some trees and build it yourself. There's plenty of trees on your island right?

Just die

OP needs a discharge I figure

But everyone is CLOSED, I can’t lay low in the Philippines or anywhere cool, I’d have to choose between burgershartland (no) and swimming to the Philippines

bump

just comply

Then it looks like you're swimming to the Philippines. Have fun!

FUCK YOU

Damn, sucks to be you.

Should have thought about that before being an amerinigger, huh?

BREAKING:
Chinese exports to Guam skyrocket in value by however much this thing costs

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>American
How do you figure? Guam simply neets off their benefits

based retard

Make a suit of armour out of crabs and car tyres.... Prepare for mad max Guam edition.

Should have gotten that anti missile defence system up then

How about get to Shartlandia through Shart'wai'i, then sneak across the border into Mexico?
Chamorro is close enough to Spanish right? And micros look pretty much Mexican.

I could, haven’t seen any coconut crabs in ages cause locals ate them to near extinction :(
But I’ve been seeing lots of these guys lately, big ones too
We did
Actually there’s a solid amount of mexicans who come to Guam, the pipeline is indeed there

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you are better there guambro, philippines will surely be a battlefield.