Explain why this wouldn't work

It's not worse.
In fact the Ukrainian pedo gouvernment is part of the same clique.
Part of removing them is taking them by force. This is what's going to happen to Ukraine.
It won't be Russia taking other pedo gouvernments. We can and will do that ourselves.

If they wanted to invade, wouldn't they have done it by now?

Crimea is rightful Greek clay

Your map has the obvious benefit of creating a more nationally homogenous Ukraine, while still letting it retain access to the sea.
But I don't think Russia wants more clay or Russian speaking population. Donetsk and Luhansk are destroyed by the war. Kharkiv is described as an industrialized region, but I have serious doubts that those factories have been upgraded since the fall of USSR.
Russia already got Sevastopol, where the Black Sea fleet is based, and it already linked it to mainland Russia via a bridge over Kerch.

I think that Russia prepares for war, but a defensive one. It has a virtual monopoly on gas export in Europe, yet it is poor af. I believe, they want to raise the prices on gas and petrol and bring troops to the border to deter possible invasions.

Hey
You are thinking well, the geography is what makes countries
Russia has 2 capitals. 1 in st.petersburg and one in donetsk. Russians cant live without the 2 being united into 1 empire. Therefore they are struggling to unite the 2.
After the SU fell, Russia broke into 2 pieces, to western and eastern, western got the doneck capital, eastern got the st.petersburg capital.
If one would capture the others capital, it would rule both. (Unite the 2)
Russians are struggling to do that this way or another. Eastern russia does war in donetsk, western russia has navalny and sobchak in petersburg.
From this you can understand russian actions.
If eastern russia would capture the donetsk capital, they would also conquer the entire western russia.
Fyi russia starts at the river that is in the middle of poland.

So there's just no way out? We're getting WWIII?

First of all Russia doesn't want to invade anyone.
You need to stop being reliant on Western media because the demented nigger Biden is desperate for war for a variety of reasons.

Russia starts at the Odera river
If eastern russia takes donetsk, they get everything until the odera river

>Ukrainians in the north would rebel
What if they were a completely separate nation then? Acting as a buffer zone.

How would Greece defend it, given location?

Nope. There's three ways out;

>The American OG intention, Putin invades Ukraine before it can join NATO, the US cuts Nordstream 2, energetic crisis in Europe ensues and OPEC ships it's oil to Europe (the logistic chain is already prepared) then sanctions Russia to the point it's gas gets more expensive than Oil (which would strengthen China, as Russia might need to reconfigure it's trading partners, and would make Russia more agressive, as they wouldn't depend on the EU for their trade thus no "democratic liberal peaceful" diplomatic mask)

>The same but Germany refuses to close Nordstream 2, the EU throws out the americans... then the next geopolitical stage is probably Africa

>NATO doesn't allow Ukraine to join, thus Russia has no need to invade (As NATO would put nukes at the doors of Moscow it Ukraine joins) this seems very unlikely

On most situations Russia would be heavily damaged, but on a "WW3" they have the possibility of taking over Eastern and Central Europe, getting to Berlin and then try to peace out because of the dangers of nuclear warfare. So the WW3 option is still on the table

Why are they afraid of invasion? The US is in no fit state to launch a war right now, and without their backing the EU wouldn't try it.

Because I don`t want my taxes spent on Ukraine because senile boomer Putin beleives that it will raise his ratings.

Why is Donetsk so important to them? Also why would the Odera and Carpathians be more desirable as a border?

I think USA will be the most interested in launching a war. If Europe is forced to buy expensive gas from Russia, and Russia gets rich, then it could start investing in Europe's infrastructure the same way that China invests in Africa. The USA might lose it's grip on Europe if it doesn't defend the current gas and oil prices.
I'm not saying USA will send conscripts. Those will come from central and eastern Europe. But the weapons will be american.
Also, I don't see how they are unfit to launch a war. From my perspective, USA is the only superpower in the world right now.

It would require the West being interested in peace