VICE is turning on Millennicucks

zoomers are boring, uncreative, and sickly. they also look 45 due to being on adderall since they were 3. most have cut off their dicks or tits and have no skills. i think millennials will be fine.

Here is OP's article from November 2021 he is posting now for some reason most of it is a tongue and cheek joke

vice.com/en/article/y3vdqx/millennial-trends-that-need-to-die-so-the-world-can-move-on

Millennials are the first generation to officially become uncool after the widespread use of phones and internet. That’s pretty epic.

>Gen X waves feeble hand...

Avocado, bitching, shit fashion, unable to settle down, still living with your parents, pop trash, Harry Potter, facebook.
There. I summed up Gen Y for you

and here's the article itself abridged so you don't have to give vice some booty clicks

The Word ‘Booty’
Note to millennials: This creates an acute sense of uncomfortableness.

Glastonbury Chat
‘Mate I cannot believe the Glasto got cancelled! Me and the lads always go and it’s fucking loose. Unreal music, man.’ – Guy who spent 70 percent of his time and money there at the craft beer bar or at yoga.

Taking Coke in Restaurants
One thing about restaurants is they’re made for eating food in. So why kill any hunger you could ever have by sneaking to the toilets every five minutes? Also, we’re trying to eat over here – so stop shouting!!!

‘Made In Chelsea’
What was once the jewel in E4’s crown – filled with friend-cest, drink throwing and posh people bitching about each other – has now become a lazy hybrid of ex-Love Islanders, younger siblings and pretty much any attractive rah with the name Digby, Kitty or Hugo in the south of England.

The original, millennial-age cast are all grown up and getting married, promoting their new alcohol-free drinks rage or £300 vibrator collab. Even Jamie Laing has finally let go of the show. Millennials, and E4, please follow.

Harry Potter
Love the films, but anyone with “Potterhead” in their bio… wyd (AKA what are you doing)? You’re not “a true Slytherin” – you’re just someone who becomes a little bit mean after downing half a Chardonnay down the pub.

Elon Musk
Please stop pretending that your amateur crypto portfolio means that you can relate to him. He is a multi-billionaire who doesn’t know that you exist.

Moaning
The economy has tanked, buying a house is near impossible and getting a job involves selling any joy you have left to a corporate demon. Great! Thank you very much – this sucks! But why moan about it? We’re still trying to resist – all complaining rights are revoked until you join the revolution!

Gifs
Nobody wants to be communicated to via the medium of Kermit the Frog putting sunglasses on, captioned #DEALWITHIT. Babes, just give me a call.

Rose Gold
These are the Ugg Boots of the jewellery world, but without the redeeming quality of being cosy. Gen Z would not be caught dead in this shade.

Meme Accounts
There is a special palace in hell for those who repost memes to their Instagram stories with the laughing crying emoji. Instead, please welcome the birth of shit posting AKA the better, newer side of the internet.

most of the millennials i know have jobs, houses, wives, and kids.

Urban Dictionary

Gone are the days of searching your name for an ego boost and realising you’re defined as “beautiful person inside and out. Often random and rowdy but you can’t help but love her anyway.” (Thanks Urban Dictionary, you are so right!)

You’ve been alive long enough to know what lit, fuckboy, dab and woke means. Perhaps now you’re a real adult you don’t need to know what Alligator Fuckhouse, Cold Lunch, Duck Butter or Waffle Stomp means…

‘Only 90s Kids Remember’
Millennials love looking back into the past with misty-eyed, Beanie-baby-tinged reflection. Have we not remembered the 90s enough by now?

Man buns
These don’t scream edgy, hip, cool or sexy. They now scream guy-who-calls-himself-a-feminist-but-listens-to-Joe Rogan’s-podcast-and-mansplains-what-a-“real”-flat-white-is. C’mon broooooooooooooooo.

Cringe Stationary
Any planner found with the words “professional procrastinator” or Disney stationary will be burnt under Gen Z’s reign.

Avocados
Sike. I won’t allow this item to take up any more space on the internet.

Nah, zoomers were uncool the moment they manifested a presence online years ago. The defining thing of their generation will be Fortnite and covid. Fuck.

fr fr no cap

>implying anyone gives a fuck what vice jews has to say about anything

>Politics?

Attached: gen zoomer perm roblox wigger.jpg (2070x2188, 832.07K)

Are they implying Elon Musk needs to die? Pretty based desu

Attached: 1527009270289.jpg (237x251, 8.95K)

kek i had vyvanse from 13 to 16 and fuck man it does age the skin, modern medicine is insanely neurotoxic

>>Gen X waves feeble hand...

Recklessly going into debt wiht teh beleif you could fake it till you make it didn't work out for you, did it?

GenZ doesn’t read your faggotshit vice, nice cope though.

Male perms did not have a comeback in the 90s just because Justin Timberlake, and him only, had one for like a year.

>the new boomers
>What your favourite energy drink says about you

Can zoomers read?
In all seriousness, VICE represents the pinnacle of millennial hipster faggotry and I think zoomies will rightfully declare it cringe af fr fr on god bruh.
I hope VICE, and the lives of all of its contributors, get thoroughly destroyed and discarded.