What is a Fathers role in raising a baby? What is he expected to sacrifice, what is he expected to step up and help with?
If the mother is stay at home, what should the father do other than help around with chores a more than usual and spend time with the baby?
You give money and maybe beat your wife. Works for me.
>help around with chores
Lazy front-holes already have modern appliances that do most of the work for them and they still won't stop bitching and complaining.
You provide.
Shelter. Safety. Food. Clothing. Nurture your children and provide guidance. Teach them a healthy relationship by being a role model with your spouse, their mother.
Most children learn physicality from their dad. Roughhousing, tickles, horseplay all help mold healthy physical relationships and boundaries.
The father's significance cannot be understated.
- Me, 35yo oldfag with our 3rd child due in a matter of weeks.
Did your wife ever try to guilt you because you can’t get baby to sleep at night?
No, that's kinda strange dude.
We agreed A/B schedule for nights with an infant. One day I take any wakeup between bedtime and morning, she takes the next. It provides somewhat of a relief to each others sleep schedules and we are both active in parenting.
Guilt attacks on the other parent is super bad. Get that figured out. Not just the cause of sleep problems but why your partner is doing that.
Unify. Be one body working toward one goal.
How do you help with sleep with breastfed baby? We have 4 month old and he won’t take bottles and is exclusively breast fed.
Does your wife guilt you for not getting the baby to sleep at night?
well said, can confirm
your wife is the one who breastfeeds, she should be the one putting the kids to sleep most of the time. I was better at burping our babies, and I danced them to sleep quite a few times, but at night generally they slept after breastfeeding. I wasn't a part of that most of the time.
Yeah. Baby is exclusively breastfed, I can’t do feedings and he is in phase where he wants to be on the mom to sleep.
if he's fussy he may be gassy/burpy. you can burp a baby well by jiggling/shaking gently the whole baby along with your own movement (big oscillations up and down, not small movements), keeping his back upright, and gently tap on his back. then pause, be still, give him time to burp
might consider what your wife is eating/drinking before bed too. that affects the quality of breastmilk
Dude hes 4 months we know how to burp and manage breast milk. He was never introduced to bottles when he was a newborn and is still uninterested. He likes to comfort nurse to sleep/bed share so it’s challenging for me. Some nights I sleep in other room.
He has no role. His role ended when he ejaculated. Sometimes his role is to kill other men's offspring and impregnate their daughters as soon as first estrus, but mostly he is just there to ejaculate then fuck off.
Take my example, my father used to give whatever he used to earn for the family. Never even complained a single time, used to buy everything that I needed first while rarely bought anything for himself. I still remember when I got into college he bought a new mobile for me while he kept using his same old semi functional phone which he was using since past 6 years. I remember whenever I used to be ill at night he used to carry me himself and never even set me down a single time although he used to have really hard shifts and drained from his work. My mom is a gem as well and cared for me deeply, but father was and is always like a steadfast stone that our family relied on.
Based Dad. Congrats on your 3rd.
Do not share a bed with your infant.
Last feeding of the night needs to be strictly controlled from a scheduling perspective. Start it at the same time, build routine the baby gets acclimated to.
Feed, swap nip for pacifier, burp, diaper(?) and then swaddle.
Sleep your baby ONLY ON THEIR BACK and GET MONITORING DEVICE like an Owlet.
Save yourself the lifetime of pain and guilt my wife and I have.
change your kids nappies it creates a bond for life. Trust me its important. Also let them sleep on you .
congrats mate, i had my third during the first lockdown.
t. 33 year old brickie
>He likes to comfort nurse to sleep/bed share so it’s challenging for me.
what does any of that have to do with you? your wife is the one with the breasts. when my babies woke up at night to breastfeed I generally stayed asleep. I don't see what the actual problem is here, you haven't made it clear. he wakes up to feed and won't go back to sleep? is fussy?
No he usually sleeps well just wakes up for feedings. I’m saying that my wife just tends to get overwhelmed and guilts me for not doing more.
>change your kids nappies it creates a bond for life
that's the mother's job
I'm sorry that you lost a child. I will say it is natural to cosleep, and it is alienating to separate an infant from his mother at night.
>Breastfeeding mothers and babies sharing sleep is a biologically normal behaviour, while formula feeding and separate sleep are departures from the norm.
laleche.org.uk
Ok dude here's how we handled that:
Baby wakes -
I get up, change baby. Meanwhile wife is getting in position and whipping a tit out.
She feeds and gets the baby back down.
Both of you partake in the feeding that way.
Go back to sleep.
we never had strict schedules either, fwiw, baby would wake up when hungry and wife would accommodate.
Financial support, 20% of housework and childcare
Lots of folks, especially in America, have fallen for the sleep training jew and think human babies are ready for strict regimented schedule just around the time the mothers maternity leave ends.
I suppose, yeah I could do that. Just oftentimes the baby is waking up for comfort, just to nurse back to sleep and stay on nipple.
Thank you. Co-sleeping wasn't it, he passed in his sleep in a bare crib because he liked to sleep on his stomach. Even at 5mo after they can roll and hold themselves up the risk is still there.
Fully agree sleeping together bands. It's just a tough reality that yeah, you could also roll over on top of your kid and kill them.
I mean, it's her job.
>Breastfeeding mothers and babies sharing sleep is a biologically normal behaviour, while formula feeding and separate sleep are departures from the norm.
laleche.org.uk
she needs to realign her perceptions and take responsibility. breastfeeding is her obligation, not yours. if she's getting overwhelmed maybe you can think of ways to manage the situation better, but ultimately this is her burden. modern American women are just selfish and spoiled (lack resilience). that's what it sounds like here, frankly
That’s terrible to hear. I’m sorry mate.
You take the baby for a 3-4 hour block either late at night or early in the morning so mom gets a regular block of sleep. That uninterrupted block makes piecing together enough sleep from naps much more manageable
A 4 month old can go 4 hours without dying from lack of boob.
>everything
>everything
>everything
Don’t fucking kid yourself. She should do some dishes and laundry MAYBE, but expect to do everything
Yeah, probably. She’s getting to the point now where she’s depressed and trying to speak to therapists and debating low dose ssris as last case scenario.
It’s weird just seeing my wife go through these changes so fast. It’s clear she has ppd and needs help, but she’s unwilling to take advice or help from me because she “doesn’t want to seem like my patient or subject”.
Idk man, marriage has taken a nose dive when our kid was born. It doesn’t help that we’re on the other side of country from family so we don’t have much help for a few more months.
RIP baby user. Don't feel guilt, it was a strike of lightening. Every kid you have is a risk something will go wrong.
>It's just a tough reality that yeah, you could also roll over on top of your kid and kill them.
humans are more conscious when we sleep than we appreciate. I don't think it's all that likely unless the woman was on drugs or passed out drunk
3-4 hours is too much since breastfed with no bottles. I could get him from last nap through bath time though. Will bring that up.
this is a big baby hack: youtube.com
Consider sleep training. Some people handle the sleep deprivation very badly. One of the only upsides to Cucknadia is very generous family leave.
I have breastfed two babies. They can go one 4 hour stretch as a newborn once they have regained their birth weight. They can go 8 hours at 11lbs. He/she is eating to soothe himself/herself.
>She’s getting to the point now where she’s depressed and trying to speak to therapists and debating low dose ssris as last case scenario.
>she’s unwilling to take advice or help from me because she “doesn’t want to seem like my patient or subject”.
oh jesus. therapists are a mistake, they are largely feminist and will just drive her further away from you and her natural role. ssris do not resolve the problem, they just sugar coat it, and thereby perpetuate it.
my wife was depressed a few times, it passes. your baby should be sleeping through the night very soon, so a lot of the stress should go away then
>About two-thirds of babies are able to sleep through the night on a regular basis by age 6 months.
stanfordchildrens.org