Listen up, newfags, learned initiates and adepts of Any Forums. I come to bring you great knowledge and profound wisdom from my extensive time on this board and great pilgrimage across the far flung corners of the internet. Consider yourself of great fortune to have happenchance upon my thread, for my insight is unmatched and unparalleled in these times of great ignorance in the age of Kali Yuga. You are of strong intuition and sound judgement to have remained in this thread for the final reveal. This information will surely bode well for you, young traveller. Gather by my campfire, make yourself comfortable, converse amongst one another, regale tales of old and make merry. Refreshments will of course be served.
Oldfag here to drop some knowledge
Anthony White
Jaxson Johnson
Are you leaving Spotify too?
Camden Lee
Are you just going to say FUCK NIGGERS AND FUCK JANNIES? Is that your wisdom? If so, I'm listening.
Jack Gonzalez
How can you identify a newfag?
Caleb Rodriguez
Is that Louis Althusser?
Aiden Lee
Look in the mirror.
Luke Cox
I'm here for this.
Grayson Ramirez
If they can't triforce (You)
Isaiah Barnes
So everyone is a newfag?
David Davis
Free will is an illusion.
Tell us the damn thing and it better be occult in nature or I'm gonna be disappointed.
William Brooks
>Are you leaving Spotify too?
not that you asked me, but i don't even know what spotify is. it seems like every year there are dozens of new "up-and-coming" websites that are really just teats for people to suck on and obtain their daily ration of mainstream media.
Aaron Garcia
Your eagerness and thirst for information, as well as skills of discernment have not gone unnoticed, but alas I must wait for more anons to arrive for counsel.
Justin James
I'm here for my edumacation. Kindly proceed with the de-befuddlement of your fortunate guests, most gentle and gracious host.
Kevin Rodriguez
I bet you're gonna say nigger.
let me get my popcorn first tho.
Grayson Morales
>namefag
>wants free occult knowledge
You fucked up. Begone.
Bentley Watson
If you have to ask than your a newfag.
Gavin King
The dark mass of the wreck is flecked here and there with white. It is huge, greater than the leviathan: a hulk shorn of masts, split across the middle, banked on all sides with sand. The timbers are black, the hold even blacker than gives entry. If the kraken lurks anywhere, it lurks here, watching out of its stony hooded undersea eyes.
Sand rises in slow flurries around my feet. There are no swarms of gay little fish. I enter the hole.
I am below deck, the port side of the ship beneath my feet, feeling my way along beams and struts soggy to the touch. The stub of candle hangs on a string around my neck. I hold it up before me like a talisman, though it sheds no light.
Something soft obstructs me, perhaps a shark, a dead shark overgrown with pulpy flowers of the sea, or the body of a guardian wrapped in rotting fabric, turn after turn. On hands and knees I creep past it.
Carson Barnes
i wanna see what magic you can do on this cock. Really give it your all old fag. Tickle me with that grey beard while you sip on my head
Zachary Young
Im here
Dominic Ortiz
Let's see what this fuss is about
Ayden Carter
We're waiting, OP.
Ryan Jackson
8:5 for 'Reply to this thread or your mother will die in her sleep!'
Angel Smith
The young will rebel and than see
Elijah Jackson
Cry about it, faggot. Lol. I've been on Any Forums since 2007. I'll do whatever the fuck I want.
Adam Torres
You must learn patience. You must go through the process of hazing as all initiates to Any Forums have done. Be brave, be corageous and perhaps a sip of a soporific drink will ease your rite of passage.