I miss being trans. I wish it had worked out for me

I miss being trans. I wish it had worked out for me.

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I wish being gay had worked out for me. But I had to be me and exist so there's that.

I think this is one of the big reasons being trans didn't work for me actually. Made me far too confused about my sexuality.

I started transitioning for cosmetic reasons, because I wanted to be cute, I wanted to look like a girl.

Then it started to really fuck with my identity. Should I be gay? Should I act gay? Why do I even want to transition, did I like guys this whole time? Or do I only like guys because I am transitioning?

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it is pretty common for sexuality to shift after hormones if you were on hrt, not always but it does happen and sometimes exetremely

the best thing to do in your situation is to pause and either keep desisting or retransion after you figure it out

I tried transitioning for 4 years there's no chance in hell I am starting again
it was a fairly pleasant memory and I enjoyed the dream that I might've become a woman but it's over now and it's time to move on with my life.

far healthier to do this than to cling to some delusion that I could ever pass

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What do you look like nowadays?
t. future detrans

I look like a 25 year old 5'7" weak ass male. I'm currently going to the gym and getting stronger.

Only part of my transition left that I can notice is I have slightly visble raised breasts when I take my shirt off, and my nipples are slightly larger than most guys. I don't think any cis man or woman would ever notice that I've been on hormones at all.

my body looks like an emaciated version of this kinda

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while i cant make you the way you talk about it sounds like you kind of still want to. maybe think of your sexuality in relation to that for a while? thats more what i meant anyway

yeah, i wish it worked out for me too
but im just staying in boymode because theres nothing else for me

I shouldn't have just talked about my sexuality like it was the only problem lol I just wanted to emotionally connect with that other poster

Being a tranny fucking sucks user. People treated me like shit, I couldn't make friends who didn't think I was mentally ill, my parents didn't support me and it strained my relationship with my brother, it made my work life a living hell because nobody wants to work with a fucking non-passing tranny, I could go on and on.

Being a boy-moder doesn't last forever, there comes a point where EVERYONE fucking knows something is up.

No shit I would prefer to be a passing and pretty transwomen, but it never would've happened for me. I am glad I tried it, and I am also glad it didn't work out and I stopped. I hope that makes sense.

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its grim it's always about passing, you are either lucky or not

of course it's about passing
that's the entire purpose of starting to transition medically

what's the point of taking hormones if you aren't trying to look like a woman? just for bloodwork purposes? lol

if you don't pass then you haven't actually transitioned at all

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there are plenty of reasons to continue desisting aside from not being trans. im just stupid and suggested something based off of the first bit.

either way im just stoned and tired and wanting to be clear because yeah???

trying to get to the happiest you can be in your body really, which means either trying to look like a man or woman depending on you desired hormones

for some people that is passing

i know but it's like how many genetic lotterys can one person lose ;-;
>don't get to be girl
>don't get to be fem enough to transition
>for some people that is passing
for some people that is coping

>fuck i meant like some people dont need to pass to be that happy and others do
>nothings going to make it so that there is no overlap between passoids and people that dont need to pass btw
>no amount of salt will mask the flavour

This is what I assumed was going to happen once I started to transition. It's scarry but I know that it's worth it for a better life. People are monsters op, got to be prepared and expect the worst. You can't be yourself in society if if differs from the normal. It scares there monkey brains.

Nice repfuel, life really is unfair.
Maybe I should just move into a monastery and meditate all day, working to rid myself of all desire. Then after living as a monk for 50 years and saving all of my earnings somewhere, I'll have my memories erased and my mind transplanted into the body of a cute girl, and then I'll get to live the life I was never afforded without the traumas of the past.

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>it made my work life a living hell because nobody wants to work with a fucking non-passing tranny
this is by FAR the worst part btw. I wouldn't want to be a tranny ever again just for this reason alone.

Almost drove me to the point of insanity knowing that everyone saw me as some tranny freak

im a twinkhon and im terrified of this after school, fuck what do i do

are you capable of passing?
if you can pass people don't even care if you are trans. counter-intuitive, I know.

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to normies on the street or at the airport or something yeah i might pass, but anything more leeds to scrutiny, i think im fucked