This isn't advice; it's just my personal experience with something sort of similar.
When I first met my last ex, I told her right away who I was, and what my romantic expectations were. When I first asked her to spend time with me, we did. But the second time, she didn't respond. I followed it up with a message changing the topic after a few hours, which she responded to right away. I thought maybe she just didn't see my previous message, since I've done that before accidentally. But the next time, she did it again.
So I stopped having the expectation of her even hanging out with me. there was a lot of other noise I'm not including. But, she did eventually "warm up" to hanging out with me, in her own words. But, she would later tell me that, in those early weeks- even months- of the relationship, she "wasn't taking it that seriously". I linked her a dumb post I once made elaborating on the romance I sought, and she later told me she didn't even read it, at the time, or ever, when I asked about it.
Without mentioning the abuse/neglect otherwise, I feel I asked for the bare minimum, she agreed to enter a relationship meeting me on as much, but, she ultimately refused to spare me even that. I felt less than alone at the time, and felt she had left me to take a hint to not even have the expectation of her wanting me. It turns out I was right.
The relationship ended terribly. Fundamental parts of my identity were things she only revealed too late to ever be fair to be things she hated, and wanted me to forfeit, or purge. She expected so much compromise from me, in every regard, especially my privacy. In her last "conversation" with me, the most hurtful words was her essentially saying she never loved me, and never could unless I were removed from all I ever told her I was.
My point is simply, even though I've never been loved before, I imagine it involves wanting you in your entirety, without compromise. You had that hope originally, but lost it. Wake up.