Im ftm but not out to my family (though they are violently transphobic and heavily suspect me being a pooner)

im ftm but not out to my family (though they are violently transphobic and heavily suspect me being a pooner)
how do i go about moving into a dorm with a guy as a roommate? my current arrangement is with two cis girls and i really don't want to live with them in a few weeks.
i was thinking i would just quietly move and not tell them but they'd notice if they came to visit, and lying and saying he's my bf is out of the question too because they know i have a girlfriend. how can i convince them to let me do it without outing myself?

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the solution is simple:
don't be dumb and go on T before you have financial stability
no seriously
T produces changes really fast, if you're not ready to be cut off financially and socially then you're fucking yourself over for no reason
your safety at this time is the top priority

Tell them u wanna suck his dick

You don't, stop depending on them

sadly this is pretty true

best solution is to work toward financial independence and when you get it cut them off for a year or two while you let em start accepting it. you don't know how much that changes the playing field with transphobic family when they realize you can just get up and leave and you don't need them anymore. sucks that that's what it takes for them to respect you, but it really does help.
also if they think you're a lesbian, you could just make up some excuse about how your gf is jealous and doesn't want you being too close to other girls

if you're dependent on them for financial support, do what others have posted in this thread as advice
if not cut them out of your life, they won't be getting any better

i know, thats not what im asking--im not on hrt yet

im financially dependent, ive socially transitioned but i cant go on hrt until i get my undergrad because i cant afford education myself. i have about 23 grand in the bank account from working minimum wage jobs since high school but it wont put a dent in my tuition and i would really rather not be in debt for the rest of my life
hate being amerimutt

bump

still need advice, for context im butchmaxxing to my parents (though they're still upset about me being masculine presenting and into women), but moving in w a guy sounds excessive

I mean, if they think you’re a lesbian then it isn’t that weird if you live with a guy. I know it’s easier said than done and idk your specific situation but I would just tell them he’s gay and you’re friends already, and he’s the only friend of yours who needs a roommate rn.

Also, Adachi ftms are best ftms.

thanks user

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Is it like a guy you already know or are you gonna find a random male roommate?

a guy i already know, we're good friends--he thought i was cis when we first met because i was a cishon growing up and we've been bros ever since

i ended up asking about it as nonconfrontationally as i can, but the answer was a hard no. living with two cis women is gonna be fucking dreadful but it seems like i have little choice now. should i let them know im a pooner and have them feel constantly on edge around me or suffer in silence and let them just assume i'm a butch dyke (and probably still be uncomfortable around me)?

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if you come out as a man then they probably wouldn't be too comfortable living with you, implying you're a solitary chill butch les is probably better

this is true. i do pass as an autist butch or theyfab once i open my mouth (like i said i get mistaken for a cis twink but the woman voice ruins it), but also if i have to live with people who think of me as a woman for an entire year i genuinely think i'll crack

I don’t understand why your parents would be opposed to you rooming with a guy if you framed it as a lesbian thing. Surely the reason you room with people of the same sex is to avoid sexual attraction to your roommates right? If you’re clearly butch and dating a girl then how can they argue with that?

they suspect im a pooner. i was outed as wanting to transition ftm when i was 13 and later at 17, and ever since i've had to larp like it was just a phase.
i cant do anything to even remotely suggest im anything but a cis woman. they're hypervigilant about my gender presentation to the point that they threatened to disown me for not shaving my legs last week

they sound like people you should cut off honestly, it sounds like they view you as an object to be controlled not a real person with thoughts of his own

i need tuition money
idk how im gonna string them along for 3 more years but hopefully i'll manage

Jesus Christ, parentally mandated leg shaving, sounds like a nightmare

my life fucking sucks
i wish i was born cis so bad, or at the very least wasnt mentally ill and could enjoy being a woman :( i know women have it easier and they're more beautiful but seeing myself as one is torture and my brain shuts down every time i try