Trans people don't exist and are a fetish taken too far

doesn't have to be a trans thing. use a beard trimmer or sth electric to get the bulk of it off first.

other easy things to try: present as a woman in a non-sexual online space. write or have someone else write a few sentences gendering you female, see how it feels to read them. read some experiences of trans women figuring out they're trans, and see if stuff matches up. (sorry, don't know where to find these.) doing makeup for the first time could be hit or miss. if you've got friends who know how to do it and would feel comfortable asking them to do it on you, ask them. (not as weird as you think! lots of girls I know would absolutely JUMP at the chance to do makeup for a male friend.) u could probably treat yourself to like a bath bomb or some other feminine branded products?

also imagination is really powerful. it's actually kind of hard, but if you think "what would it be like to be seen as a woman? how would that experience feel?" and break through the walls of stereotype, expectation, and "that can't happen for me" to get to a real contact with your inner feelings, you might get somewhere. I'd try going in a few directions - how would this feel alone? how would this feel if I were in a relationship with someone I'm attracted to? how would this feel among friends? how about at the store, at school, at work? it's a balancing act to keep the other vague enough you don't start thinking about people you know's responses to transness, and yourself vague enough that you don't fall back into "but I'm so hairy or large or whatever I'd just be seen as X". but still concrete enough that it's not quite a fantasy, more figuring out truth under imaginary circumstances.

really you could probably search "gender euphoria" on Reddit or sth and read posts from early trans women and do those things also. I'm just listing ones that helped me figure things out.

just try some stuff. regardless of what happens, you've learned something.

whenever i read euphoria from trans women who are early on/not on hrt, i kinda cringe
but i actually met a trans girl a few weeks ago and she's obviously not on hrt and you can tell she's...male, i guess, and she has a bit of facial hair, but interestingly enough, i never felt like...i could call her a man, i guess?

she had long hair and a decently andro voice so she looks rough but not bad
regarding makeup and dresses and how i feel about friends and relationships, i don't do that at all
i don't really know who i am attracted to sexually or romantically nor do i want to bother with that because i wouldn't want other people to know what kind of fucked up gender/sexuality problems i have with myself

and i'm fat and hairy. not super duper obese, mind you, but still...chubby. i can't imagine dating anyone ever while looking like this or what dating even is and what's the purpose of a relationship. i just feel emotionless and that all i know is lust for my sexual kinks and i don't have any real feelings for real people.

Just because you personally don't feel like a transwoman doesn't mean transwomen aren't a thing. You don't feel like a rhino either, but they're definitely real.

to not want to die every day and so i can have relationships and friends, i cannot not be who i am inside, and now that i am who i am inside, even if im not all the way where i need to be yet, atleast i have found happiness and purpose in my life, i am loved and cared for

i spent most of my adult life locked away in my room so no one would see me as i was, my mom had instilled so much fear into me to keep me from transitioning sooner

im so glad she is dead and i can finally live, the greatest mistake i ever made was not being trans positive and open and unrelenting from the start, it is only by my goddess's blessings that my appearance has held up enough for me to see beauty in my eyes all along

OP doesn't mean trans women literally don't exist. They mean being trans stems from sexuality. But they assume that it's just a minor fetish a guy has, since that's how they identify.

Obviously lots of trans women do wear dresses and have male partners, so OP is just being dumb thinking their experience is universal. Never mind masturbating to other things. OP doesn't mention dysphoria either of course.

i am op and i am just confused about myself
how can i, a man, know what it feels like to be a woman?

"Feeling like a woman" means experiencing dysphoria at being male and relief from dysphoria by fixing that with hormones, or even just the fantasy of femaleness. You said you have some fantasies trans women do, but you can like being a guy more. It's your judgement to make.

i don't know how i feel about being male
mostly neutral, idk
i wish i was fem and not hairy and fat but i'm just...not that, i'm a man and i do feel kinda shit about it when i look at myself naked when showering but it is what it is

in regular life, i have problems and am drinking antidepressants and generally doing shit academically and socially and i just mostly play games and stay inside but i don't think that makes me trans
i am probably just making shit up because of sexual fetishes

It sounds like you do have some level of dysphoria. But you can also get off without trans fantasies.

You don't have to transition, just keep the possibility in mind. Maybe you'll be happy losing weight and finding other ways to be more fem, or maybe you'd like to give hrt a try at some point.

Trans feelings aren't just a fetish. Having trans-ish fantasies is a reason to consider whether you want to be more fem outside of fantasies as well.

> whenever i read euphoria from trans women who are early on/not on hrt, i kinda cringe
first, lol yeah. second, lol you're already reading this stuff, wow. third, try and get past the cringe for a sec because if you're cringing that's a layer between you and direct experience.

> I don't do that at all
okay,, but what would it be like if you did? we're talking about the future and what you COULD be, not what you already do. you have to actually let the thoughts settle in. like set a timer for 5 minutes, put down the computer, and think about it for real. for me there was really this one crystal clear moment where I was able to not just imagine myself as a woman, but fully experience it, and go "oh. this isn't just something that happens to other people. this is real for me." and it took LITERAL YEARS of imagining myself as a woman, pretending to be one places, having trans friends, before it sunk in that I could actually do that. and it was a lot of layers of accumulated disgust (lol man in a dress), shame (things that happened online I won't go into), and just distance between transness as a concept and the core of my experience. it's really hard to access those moments of awareness (gnosis if you will) and really easy to keep running down the same tracks your mind's been going in for years. but something has to change, even if it's not you figuring out you're a woman - you don't seem happy or sure of yourself.

I completely understand not wanting to bother with relationships because you feel like you have to resolve your own stuff first. that's totally fair. just... don't wait too long, okay? you don't have to have everything sorted out. people will love you as you are.
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it sounds like you're really disconnected from your emotions. not trying to be a groomer, but estrogen helps with this a ton, lol. it's really nice being able to cry.

I've never been to one, but maybe it's worth seeing a gender therapist.

hey quick question, purely for my own amusement. have you taken any of those "am I trans?" quizzes, and how did the results make you feel?

>I wish I wasent fat
of course. It's always a 300lb self hating fat ass who makes these threads