Is ther a chance I

Is ther a chance I
I mightve permafucked my emotions by trialing HRT incorrectly and being inconsistant, kinda like how people fuck themselves over on SSRI?

Im stopping it now, because I rushed in worried about my age and even though I fucking hate being off HRT, I have no choice and its probably a drug addiction somehow anyway, considering I wasnt using progesterone.

I was a complete retard and let my desires and worries control me when I havent figured anything out yet completely. Like Ive bever crossdresses publicly.

I dont why I thought boymoding was a remotely realistic. Especially when Im like this.

It was about 2 months, so not much if any hange. I think my breasts are like a centimeter larger or something and I have buds right now.

Im also worried if I stop now, what if the breasts just dont grow.
But I have to stop, because I am not decisive enough to be consistent and all that.

For all I know, Id be better off as a crossdresser mayeb evne just at home or with my partner and certain specific people.
I need to a doctor, but I cant...


I kinda wish I could make a fuckton of money so I could move away from where I am now and reset my life without my family or any of my old friends or anyone... but I dont have that luxury anyway and I fucking doubt I'll ever pass.

I wasnt using a particular high dosage and I think my T levels are normal male when Im not on HRT.

Eggs, reppers, newfags, etc who happen to be reading this: dont ever listen to people telling you that trialing HRT while boymoding is a good idea, even if youre a really late transitioner. Its a terrible idea and I probably fucked myself up in many different ways...

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Can we skip over the part where Im called stupid and made fun of and used as a source of Schadenfreude for people relieved theyre not as fucktarded as me?

We cant can we? Oh well...

Yeha Im not gomnanget a response. I need to... I dont know. Im so fucking stupid holy shit.
why am I such a fucking retard

>2 months lol
take your pills neurotic freak. you dumb sissy slave.

Most transwomen experience mood swings and other weirdness for the first few months of their HRT. I remember my roommate telling me that she threatened to cave a coworker's head in with a brick during an argument. Totally out of character for her. Another one was constantly getting into arguments with her family.

Mood swings are normal. It's very, very unlikely you permafukt yourself by trying HRT. What was your regimen?

>t. some rando cis person who actually gives a damn.

>cis
LMAOOOOO

I cant anyway because favskin is shit, apparently.
I ordered more towards the start of these, had my paymeny of over $100 confirmed, and recieved fucking nothing 2 weeks later.


Considering where I live, I am stupid beyond belief, and I think one person realized this actually and tried to hint hpw stupid I was being, but I just didnt fucking listen. Didnt speak to a doctor. Didnt get testa. Followed the shitty guides that fucking gloas over or dont even mention infertility, talking like this is just some little thing and you can throw caution to the wind.

I wanna die.

>: dont ever listen to people telling you that trialing HRT while boymoding is a good idea, even if youre a really late transitioner
>I dont why I thought boymoding was a remotely realistic
i think you're living on a different planet to me

Hush, my reasons are entirely separate from transwomen.

>cis


Uhh... well I guess that doesnt *necesarrily* mean youre not experienced withtrans issues It sounds like you know a few....


2mg Estrogen (1mg around 8:30am, another mg 8:30pm) 12.5mg cypro (or at least I try to do that).

I fucked up my schedule a few times and once I realized I couldnt find a timeline for fertility issues (and realized this is a real problem that I really need to consider and not something I can *necessarily* resolve just by taking myself off for like a week or two), I sometimes would get nervous and stop or skip dsages sometimes. I tried to be revular and yo taper myself off and decrease the dose over time.when I had issues with my supplier, but I dont really know how good I was about all that.

I do remember the mood swings where I would just snap at my parents when they called. It didnt get very nad, just for some reason why they called I would suddenly get unintentionally pissed and answer the phone with a "WHAT?!" and I know its that bad because my father would tell me to calm down.

I also did have panic attacks. Not sure if that was infoueced by the HRT Sso much or if I was just experiencing dysphoric anxiety.

Anyway, the person who nade me wonder if maybe I was going too far is a theyfab who says they might, in fact, be a transman, so I guess that could bias this person against estrogen....

2 months? Ngl anonette. Your like being more neurotic than most.
Esp since you like it.
But i can't stop you, i hope you enjoy stopping and starting another 6 times before picking one way or the other, because that's what your attitude gets you.

urghh...

Its true. I have always been a very anxious person just in general and it sucks. It really, really sucks and this, in addition to my history of being a bit anti-trans (like I wasnt a poltard, but I thought transgender people where supeor higjly offended, had a kink, were dangerously experimenting with their internal chemistry, etc) keeps me from understanding wtf I am, what it means, what I need or want, etc.

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You don't need to understand shit. All that focus and thinking just confuses autistic/neurotic/anxious girls like you.
You will not find any clarity from thinking, only living.
Like the effects of hrt?
Feel better on hrt?
More than hating either or?
Only = keep taking hrt.
Focusing on labels and "what am I really owo?" Is just going to constantly fuck you over.
If you must know though you are a tranny by virtue of only being on hrt, like every other tranny. It's the only thing that makes you trans. Maybe the desire to feminize does too, but in reality that's it.

So I should go by he/him and the experiences I have while crossdressing and all that shit means nothing and youre Im just aupposed to dismiss all of this and ignore the existance of things like the movie The Danish Girl?

So Im like a retard in your view?...

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I didnt think you are retarded until reading this post. I still don't actually, but i wonder a bit now.

I was suggesting take your hormones and forget about questioning everything.
But what crossdressing experiences are you talking about? What does the danish girl have to do with anything.. Fuck now I have to look it up.
What does either have to do with feeling or not feeling better on hormones, or desiring a more female body? Because those are those two are the most important factors.

Eggs, reppers, newfags, etc who happen to be reading this, I also have been taking hrt for 2 months I probably was rushing into it considering I got hrt days after cracking my egg and you know what my life feels better on hrt I’ve started taking better care of myself, exercising, getting a skin care routine and while I still boymode I totally believe hrt was the best thing to ever happen to me I feel more confident and my anxiety has become less loud
So if anyone saw op and started to question whether you should repress, understand that you could turn out like op or you could end up like me
Both outcomes are possible and its up to you to decide if the potential risks are worth the potential rewards

A good girl, confident and with a good, positive message on the life transforming properties of hrt.
I am glad you are feeling better and taking better care of yourself.

I want to be happy like you....
They seem connected I dont know. I mean, I guess youre right I shouldnt think about it so hard.
>The Danish Girl
Its a fictional story based heavily off the stoty of one of the first transwomen to undergo SRS.

It was too real for me, though and has a bitter-sweet end with a definite emphasis on the bitter part.

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I'm sorry if this was a bad thread to make I just think people should take their time to understand themselves instead of having a quarter-life crisis and rushing into it like a stupid overly sensitive easily offended piece of shit dependent attention whore with no locus of control like me.

Oh wait I mixed up locus of control with another concept. Oh well.

Everything I do is kinda just bad for everyone else I think, often. So, its fine I understand that I'm not a very good person or whatever.

I mean no one is lol I'm okay. I'm going to be okay, I think eventually.