Is bdsm healthy

can bdsm stuff lead up in happy and long lasting relationships or is it healthier to “unkinkify” your brain?

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Unkinkifying is better

not healthy

no user you are a dirty degenerate for having non-standard sexual inclinations and habits i'm sorry to tell you this

You don't have to unkinkify, you just have to have reasonable limits and learn not to take sex too seriously. A healthy sex life does not have to be totally vanilla, but you do have to ditch the "OMG LITERALLY BEAT ME AND CUT ME UP AND BE LITERALLY ABUSIVE BUT SOMEHOW ALSO LOVE ME AND CARE ABOUT ME" fantasy cuz it's never gonna happen.

Just be realistic. You can have a loving boyfriend spank you and choke you and toss you around and spit in your mouth and pull your hair while he pounds you and make you choke on his fingers while he calls you a filthy little whore, that's just good clean all-American fun. But don't ask somebody who loves you to hurt you for real, or get disappointed when they don't want to, because it's a bummer and you know perfectly well it's maladjusted. Learn to be a good partner and don't expect your sex life to bleed into every aspect of the relationship. But you can still get wild when you're both horny for it

Best answer. Just don't selfharm through/harm your partner

I've had an omorashi kink since I was 7 and I turned out fine, it's no biggie

My ex used to tie me to the ceiling and beat me. The few times he went overboard, and made me cry were always so sweet. He'd unhook me and hold me... Kiss me and tell me he was sorry.

Either way id always be dizzy and and begging for it afterwards. Why wouldn't it be healthy to enjoy, your bf's hyper focused attention on you, and your squirming body.

Anything fun you can enjoy together is good, and not only is it fun, but very intimate. The sex is always good after which is always good for any relationship.
Anything that keeps your bf's dick getting hard over the long term is good.

Things that feel good aren’t always good for you, and BDSM can be traumatizing/retraumatizing, even if you enjoy it

I imagine it could be depending on how far you've taken it. But getting tied up and fu ked, maybe smacked around seems pretty harmless.

I could see how it could possible be damaging in extreme circumstances though. But if your having fun, and he is too, i don't understand where the hidden source of damage is.