Is being an ugly and disguting and fake imitation of a woman thats malebrained really that better than just simply repping for life and having a good job and interactions with people who see you as a successful person and also arent abandoned by your family and friends and have your own family while being able to afford them things
Idunno, but Id rather not risk my only life in a gamble (transitioning) over just continuing my career path after my education ends
I want to look like picrel desu, but thats just the effects of agp lol
>implying repping works and won't backfire when you're 40 and have a wife and kids
Owen Butler
Good luck not killing yourself
Juan King
If it gets to that point ill just keep it to myself or blow my head out with a shotgun lol I already need that luck honestly
Caleb Wilson
The worst part is that when you’re trans, whether or not you pass, if people know they will forever treat you differently for better or for worse. The lack of real interactions is a depressing thought, whereas if you’re a successful cis person, they treat you accordingly. Difficult decision user, idk
Adam Cruz
as a fellow repper. from what I've seen, if you have an okay chance at passing then its usually definitely worth it. I rep cause I won't ever be able to approach something that myself or others would be able to see as anything approximating a woman.
Camden Brooks
Yeah, like your wife and kids finding you after you blew your head off with a shotgun won't fuck them up for life. It's kind of shitty to your partners to lie about yourself too and not telling them you're a ticking time bomb who will probably end up roping or trooning out on them. Yeah, it's shitty. Unless I end up passing and no one really knows, it feels like every interaction with anyone is colored and fake. I don't know if it would feel worse to know I'm being treated differently for being a tranny than it does right now living a fake lie trying to roleplay as a normal cis man. Both are kind of shitty, fuck this curse. I guess like if I passed, even if people knew, they wouldn't treat me that much differently than a cis women usually because their lizard brain would still register woman. I'm still repping too but it kind of really sucks. I don't know if being a tranny is any better really. I keep trying to figure out if I'd be able to pass enough to live a remotely normal life, like obsessively, to the point where the anxiety around that is worse than the pain of the dysphoria. It's so hard for me to tell. Sometimes I think I'm a neanderthal, sometimes I think I'm cute. I guess maybe if I go by how other people act, I might have a shot, because, like, a lot of people treat me like I'm cute and harmless and sweet or like a kid, and I've been told I look a lot younger than I actually am and that I'm babyfaced and have a kind of twink build. I'm still really self-conscious about how I look and worried about a lot of my features but maybe it would be okay. It's just so hard living like this, and I'm so tired. It's a shell of a life to constantly play a character and hide a lot of myself and not do the one thing I want to do the most. I just don't know what to do. I almost can't take this anymore but I think being a hon might be even more painful. I'm going to be 28 this month, and I'm so exhausted.
Angel James
I always wonder about how MTFs seem to be able to rep way longer than the average FTM, why do you think that is
Angel Moore
just based on your description, you'd probably be okay. growing up (and now) I was told how imposing I am, and almost scary with how big I am. that I'm like a caveman, my deep voice scares them, I'm built like a linebacker, etc. told stuff like if I ever want a suit that fits I need a custom one since I'm even outside of the norms of an average guy.
you would probably be fine.
Parker Rogers
I think there is a greater stigma against MTFs than FTMs, socially conservative boomer types think that MTFs are all sexual predators whereas FTMs either slip by unnoticed or end up looking like tomboys, which boomers don't really care about
Robert Hill
living as a woman and finding people who love you as a woman is worth more than anything else in the whole world, sister
That probably is what it is, but I don’t think I could have handled repressing for longer than I did without offing myself, and I’m already a youngshit (T at 16)
Charles Gonzalez
user if full transition is out of the question for you then you could try easing into a more feminine gender expression without going on full blown HRT or whatever. It helps to have family/friends/partner that is supportive of that, but at the end of the day you have to live for yourself. desu even if you did go on HRT it's not like it's completely irreversible or anything. you've got to make the decision for yourself either way but indecision is sometimes the greater evil than either of the two outcomes
John Gutierrez
It's probably a lot because of the stigma. Since I was a kid I saw media picturing trans women as crossdressing perverted freaks and I've heard people say plenty of awful things about trans women. I don't want to be seen as a freak, I just want to be seen as a normal woman. I'm so terrified of what other people will think or do, there's just so much anxiety around transitioning in general, and I'm so worried that I'll end up regretting it, and like I'm really indecisive in general and even small decisions make me very anxious. I really hope so, too. I've had some people tell me that I'm tall or have broad shoulders or a really defined jaw or other stuff like that and like it makes me feel really insecure. Maybe they were just saying stuff like that to try to make me feel good because they didn't know I'd rather be a woman and it's not actually true? I don't know. Yeah, indecision is really really painful. It's like I'm constantly trying to weigh this massive choice and it's frying my brain out. I've been leaning a bit more into feminine gender expression, like caring less about hiding my natural mannerisms from people, growing my hair out, shaving like twice a day, keeping my nails a bit longer, stuff like that, and all of it makes me feel better and is a relief. My partner knows that I'm struggling with trying to decide my identity and if I should transition and is supportive enough, considering, but it's still so hard to talk about it or do anything, like I just freeze up if I try. I want to try HRT for a bit at least and hide it from everyone, but I can't hide it from my partner, and I'm afraid I'll end up being alone because of it and deciding that I don't even want to transition and fuck it all up for no reason at all. I think probably it would be worth ending up alone if transition made me feel better and I passed enough to not be a pariah, though. But that might not happen.
Nathaniel Rogers
our situation is almost exactly the same lol, I'm kind of on the knife edge of full blown transitioning rn but holding back for the time being. my gf is very supportive but I know i'd probably fall out with most of my family, that's kind of the only thing holding me back.
>I want to try HRT for a bit at least and hide it from everyone, but I can't hide it from my partner might honestly be worth approaching the subject with them, or easing them into the idea by adopting a more feminine appearance in advance of it. It's going to be less jarring for them if you ease into it, and you can see if they are cool with you dressing more feminine and so on. Again though, live for yourself, not anyone else, at the end of the day it is your decision
Alexander Myers
Yeah, I feel like I'm right on the edge too. I used to be in such heavy denial as a coping mechanism, to the point of thinking ridiculous stuff like every guy really wishes he was a woman, but that doesn't mean they're trans, stuff like that. But I'm not really in denial anymore, and considering everything, I'm almost certainly trans. I've had flashes of lucidity in the past where I really considered transitioning for a bit, but talked myself out of it and went back into denial. Now, though, I've been agonizingly trying to make the decision for like seven months, and it's absolutely killing me. It feels like every possible fear and scenario has already run through my head a hundred times, and I can't get out of the loop. I feel horrible almost every day, so tense and anxious and out of it and uncomfortable and depressed. I keep thinking about hurting myself or offing myself. I know I can't keep living like this, it's too much for me to take forever, I think it will end up killing me, and even if it doesn't, it makes life miserable and barely worth living.
I've already been kind of gradually easing into it, and it makes me feel better, but it also makes me feel like I'm a freak or I'm hurting my partner. I don't know. I might end up just giving up and starting HRT by the end of the year, I don't know what else to do anymore. I really want to just cry. I hate this situation so much, I hate how much pain I'm in, and I hate that so many people would rather me just be in a ton of pain and pretend I'm not or off myself than do anything to make myself hurt less. I never wanted to be like this, never asked for it, but I can't help it. I actually am crying a bit now.
Brayden Baker
>I keep thinking about hurting myself or offing myself If it's at that point, then HRT might be the lesser of two evils, although I really would consider therapy/counselling if you are having suicidal thoughts, it might help you work through some of these feelings
>it also makes me feel like I'm a freak or I'm hurting my partner you should just be honest with your partner about your feelings, they are probably suffering if they can see you are in pain and would rather you be honest than try and hide your feelings. I would really suggest talking with them and/or a therapist. You probably aren't going to work through this on your own
>I never wanted to be like this, never asked for it, but I can't help it
i know that feeling, but it doesn't have to be a negative thing at the same time. I tried repping for years but I basically accepted this year that I am old enough that these feelings aren't going to pass on their own and I will have to take some action on it whether that just be dressing/acting more feminine or full blown transition. I feel like fate forced me down this path to an extent but it's not one I'm unhappy with being on. It's always best to make the best of a bad situation, and desu as much as gender dysphoria can suck, there are worse afflictions out there, so try and see the positive side of it where you can
Lucas Brooks
I think HRT is looking like the healthier option at this point because of how bad my state is and how uncomfortable I am being like I am and being a woman is what I want more than anything else in life. I'm just terrified to do it.
I really should try therapy and talking to my partner more. It's just really hard. I've tried making an appointment or saying something to my partner plenty of times but I end up getting really nervous and feel ashamed and freeze up and don't do anything and keep running through the mental loop by myself. I know I'm hurting my partner too by being stuck in the pain of indecision, but it's still so hard to talk about, I really hate myself for not being able to just say or do something and trying to pretend like I'm more okay than I am so I don't upset the people around me.
There definitely is worse and it's a unique enough life experience I guess. It's really heavy to deal with, but I think I'd be so much happier on estrogen and actually liking how I look and being treated how I want to be treated. I don't think how I feel is ever going to go away on its own either, no matter how much I've wanted it to, or how much I've tried to numb myself. It doesn't feel like much of a choice anymore. I probably just need to do it and hope for the best. I'm so worried that I'll end up never passing or something, but I think probably I'll be okay. I think my brain wants me to think I'll never pass so I won't do it because it's scared of doing it and thinks it could kill me, but it's probably the other way around.
Juan Garcia
Yes user. But the thing is repressing and having a family can’t function together.
If you end up having a little girl. Watching her grow and be herself while looking like you as a girl will just tear you down and you will troons out at 50. Your wife will divorce and ur daughter will see you as a freak.
There’s no escape, transition and take the gamble. Be a gay feminine boy on hrt or whatever. Your picrel isnt agp its based
Kayden Jenkins
Don't do anything you're not 100% comfortable with, therapy might be a better option for you if you are having second thoughts about it.
Caleb Jones
Personally, I am 100% comfortable with it and I really want all of the effects of HRT. What gives me second thoughts isn't me, but other people. I'm really worried that the relief I get from HRT might be outweighed by how other people treat me and make me end up feeling worse than I already feel. I probably should try therapy either way, my brain is spinning itself in circles and I'm a neurotic basket case in general.
Jack Scott
>blow my head out with a shotgun lo Why wait till then?
