>be me
>mid 20’s
>appointment with psychiatrist
“so user, what do you do in your free time?”
>not thinking, I say “well you know; skate, vidya, and just kinda hang out on my computer.”
>*starts typing on his laptop*
Do you have any friends?
>”no not really, no. after high school and college I kinda lost touch with the ones I had.”
>*more typing*
My spaghetti spilled at this point and I started stumbling over my words, realizing I’m sounding more and more like a loser.
”do you live with your parents at home?”
Thinking it couldn’t get much worse-
>”.. yeah, you know; I’ve been living there a few months now.”
>*typing*
”user I think maybe a therapist would help you. would you like to try that?”
>”Uh.. well.. yeeah sure I guess..”
>He’s kinda quiet for about 5 seconds too long while typing. So I think in a split second- “oh maybe saying I’d like to have friends ‘ll make it better, and he won’t think I’m such a loser.”
>”heh, yeah, I’d like to have friends, but idk I just don’t know where to go to find em. Haha”
>He stops typing and looks dead at me, while I’ve been avoiding eye contact the entire time.
“Well that’s why I think a therapist could help you. Maybe help get you back on your feet and reintegrate you into society.”
In that moment I felt like a loser.
Good thing I didn’t tell him about the board, my best friend Melanie or the Uyghurs.
Be me
i could never handle seeing a psych
shit sounds like torture i'd rather just fester and rot
That sounds like you're just paying somebody to judge you /:
yeah honestly
is this what psychs are like
if someone did this to me while i was trying to open up id paint my brains across their desk
Don't waste your money on a shrink. They don't actually help because they cannot eliminate the source of your problems, they only manipulate you into developing a different perspective on it. If you want your suffering to end, solve your problems yourself. If that's impossible, read the stoics so you can do your own therapy.
That said, fuck normies and touching gras. The reason you feel incomplete without them is cause they're rent-free in your head. You don't actually need them to be happy. Asceticism is the only road to happiness
(OP)
The therapist asked if I remembered what friends felt like. Answered honestly and she gave me the fluoride npc stare.
The state can force you in some situations.
>The state can force you in some situations
not letting that happen to me
>>appointment with psychiatrist
How did you manage to do that?
I wish I had a psychiatrist I guess I have to be sent to a insane asylum first though
fucking honestly, every time i hear about something a psych did or said i just wanna stab one. they sound fucking awful and manipulative
>the Uyghurs
what does this means
if you dont want to be judeged maybe you should try not to be such a fucking loser
>i could never handle seeing a psych
>shit sounds like torture i'd rather just fester and rot
seeing a psychiatrist isn't that bad. they're basically a drug dispenser. they ask a few cursory questions like they did for OP, you just say whatever, you get your drugs, then you walk away
seeing a therapist is hell, though
they both sound ass anyway
>How did you manage to do that?
>I wish I had a psychiatrist I guess I have to be sent to a insane asylum first though
Just Google "local psychiatrists" and call them/email them
The buddha's whole thing was that asceticism is not the road to happiness. That statue is of the moment he gave up starving himself bc he realised it was pointless and went to go eat rice from a girl by a river or something. There is no magical secret that you unlock from suffering a certain amount and then you get to play a cool easy version of life or something, things are the way they are, this is literally it.
yes they're both awful. my psychiatrist is less than useless. but he's the gatekeeper between me and drugs, so I just talk to him as frequently as is necessary to keep getting the drugs. (I managed to reduce it to 1 appointment every 2 - 3 months)
>There is no magical secret that you unlock from suffering a certain amount and then you get to play a cool easy version of life or something, things are the way they are, this is literally it.
this is why I've kind of come to accept the hedonismpill. I've mostly enjoyed the past 10 years of life as a result. as long as you manage to stay relatively healthy and find life purpose, it's pretty nice
the only drugs i'll ever take are the hormones i get off hrt cafe
meds for my brain scare me anyway
Why are you calling me a loser? I'm not. The uyghurs are a turkic people who live in northwest china who are currently being rounded up and put into camps in the name.of cultural reeducation.
I'm going to go get a psychiatrist appointment and just pull out a knives and higurashi myself
That may be true. I'm not a buddhist kek
Still, from my own experience, I noticed a major betterment of my attitude once I gave up most of my earthly desires
Well purpose is really what makes the difference there. What do you feel like your purpose is? I feel like everything is pointless. buddhism and philosophy seems pointless to me now and i dont see how i can make any meaningful difference to people. I'm just a tiny malfunctioning cog in a huge machine. I still try to be nice to people though, but i dont see any objective logical reason why if im honest. Hedonism is cool i guess but it feels empty after a while, especially when i know all the happy feelings are just chemicals from poppies. At least they actually feel good.unlike psych meds though
>At least they actually feel good.unlike psych meds though
my psych meds feel good, but that's because my prescriptions are bupropion and amphetamine, both of which are practically recreational drugs that directly raise dopamine
>I still try to be nice to people though, but i dont see any objective logical reason why if im honest.
I have a fundamental sense of morality and ethics I guess. I understand other people are like myself and generally deserve to experience kindness and respect
>What do you feel like your purpose is?
I have many. I'm not sure they're exactly things I can, or want to, articulate, though. mostly doing things of value for others, basically
>especially when i know all the happy feelings are just chemicals from poppies.
all happy feelings are always just chemicals, whether exogenously-facilitated or not. not saying one needs to or should dive into recreational drug use. that's one way of seeking pleasure, but definitely not the only way
>I'm just a tiny malfunctioning cog in a huge machine.
most people seem to feel this way. I don't, though. I feel like one of the operators of the machine. perhaps even one of the overseers
>i dont see how i can make any meaningful difference to people.
if you're creative about it, you will probably be able to find ways
It's true, at least how i was taught it
The buddhas approach to that question (informed by living both as an opulent prince and then as a starving ascetic) was that "earthly desires" are fleeting and everchanging and are never gonna bring completely true happiness forever. Like, elon musk still finds shit to get sad about. But at the same time, they are a fact of the human psyche and pretending that you are over them or they don't exist anymore is just foolish because you are being wilfully ignorant, and you're just chasing after a new desire of being enlightened and spiritually pure and better than everyone else. It's better to acknowledge them for what they are and learn to live with them, understanding that they don't represent the path to happiness but also that they are not going to go away, so you have to accept them for how they really are basically and not cling to either delusion