The dysphoria is hitting hard today, it's over 9000% someone help me, I can't take it anymore...

The dysphoria is hitting hard today, it's over 9000% someone help me, I can't take it anymore. I'll never have a male body, it's over. No matter how long I'm on T, it's not gonna reverse what estrogen did, with the maing problem being the hips and bone structure. I don't have cash for the surgeries, I want someone to break into my house and kill me while I'm asleep. I don't have the power to kill myself. I'm such a pussy, always wanting everyone to do everything for me, even killing me. I'm lost in life and I don't know what to do anymore. All I know is that I feel very bad right now and I don't even know how to describe it. [cont.]

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My dysphoria is usually about 8/10, but now it is off the scale. I feel so bad at this very moment, I'd rather die than be like this all the time. So I pretend it'll get better, thinking I'd wake up and be less dysphoric. Which would probably happen, if my coping mechanisms were different. I'm still alive because of escapism, escaping from the reality. since the age of 7, imagining myself as a boy, and living my life as a boy in my imagination, was my only source of happiness. I love tricking my brain into thinking it's real, because then my brain produces serotonine and I feel better. I want to be in this imagined, better world all the time, in a male body. At this point I probably have developed schizophrenia, I have problems telling which world is the real one, and I "feel" the better world more than the real world. But I like it, it's like the metaverse but for free and I have control over everything. It's not lucid dreaming, it's my better world where I live a happy life. I hate the real world. In poland where I live, it's now 2 AM. I will again wake up tired, with my back hurting from sleeping in a binder. I know it's not safe and shit, but it's still safer than suicide. Soon, I'm gonna go to the better world again, escaping the reality once again. I don't know any other way to make myself feel better.

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Stopped caring the moment I saw that you were a pooner.

I'm used to it. But you cared enough to reply

Does your fantasy world involve sex slaves

Hang in there, user :(
I know how you feel. Hopefully technology will get to a point where we can finally enjoy living in our own body. Until then, please hold on.

Yes. I have many of them. They're based on monsters like black holes or slimes etc. I am the epitome of gigachad in that world

>I'll never have a male body
Stop being a pussy and live with what you got.
It is what you do that matters more.

R u into boys or girls?
How long have you taken the T?
Whats your passing goal?

wanting everyone to do everything for you..., how female of you

I feel like 90+% of ftm will pass if they dress masculine, have the correct dosage of t and work out, and just generally "act like a guy would". I haven't seen one that hasn't passed if they do those even decently well (assuming you have had top surgery)

>R u into boys or girls?
both. but I like girls more. and I'm top only
>How long have you taken the T?
Almost 2 years
>Whats your passing goal?
Undeniably male bone structure, no tits, no uterus. maybe a frankendick

Want to tell me more about your fantasy world, user? Sounds fun

You got me there.

You should watch the anime Interspecies Reviewers

>no tits, no uterus. maybe a frankendick
That souns like the easier part

>Undeniably male bone structure
Brudi, working out like hell.

It is fun, it's kinda based on video games and manga. I have a loving partner there that is enternal virgin and no matter how many times we have sex, she's always pure. I also have my slaves if I want something different. But I'm too sad and sleepy now so I can't write anything creative. I'm soon going there again. Do you have any questions?

I watched it lol. I took inspiration from it. I watch a lot of anime

Want to be friends? I like world building and that sort of stuff so it would be nice to have somebody to talk about that sort of stuff with. And you know, if you are ever feeling dysphoric and need somebody to talk you out of doing something stupid.

AMBM#8787

I'm a poor, lazy and depressed piece of shit. No matter how many times I try to improve, I fail all the time

keep telling yourself that loser faggot