I am constantly getting thoughts of wanting to be a woman...

I am constantly getting thoughts of wanting to be a woman. I had thoughts of wanting to be a girl since I was like 11 (I am now 21) and last year I began considering that I might be trans and then I began repressing it to the point of denial. I know that I am having gender dysphoria and am considering trooning out but I keep having thoughts telling myself that perhaps it isn't a good idea, or that I will not be accepted by some of my family, or by society, that sort of thing. If repressing will just make things much worse for me then I definitely don't want to go down that route as I've already suffered a great deal and been through a lot of misery. Any advice?

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>If repressing will just make things much worse for me then I definitely don't want to go down that route
was in your shoes and repressing made things much worse

You're either already socializing as a woman or you're just a guy.

There is no "I want to be a woman", you either are or you aren't.

I am very feminine, so I might do this, what I meant is that I want to look as a woman and be treated as a woman.

try not. do. or do not. there is no try

look like*

exactly

you dont already look like a bitch?

I look like a feminine male

yep. despite always being dysphoric and wanting to live as a woman, due to repressed emotions my whole life, I have been extremely male socialized.
pretty much in every way that it matters in being able to pass/live as a woman I am on the extreme opposite end of.
some people are just doomed from the beginning with no escape.

Don't worry you can relearn feminine behaviour. Take your pills alice or you will kill yourself before you hit 40

You should do what makes you happy, without worrying to much about what might happen. You sound very trans

I have had this happen to some extent to me too but more recently I've stopped trying to come across as masculine or act manly as I realized I was doing that due to having been "male socialized" like you said, and from having been bullied and abused when I was younger.

>Any advice?
Start HRT and keep you hair short, start boymoding, essentially.
Repression doesn't work long term, I got to 23 years old with the same signs ad you and it was such a miserable, substance abuse riddled existence, it was such a waste, there's not a day I don't regret it, and hate myself over it.
The trans thoughts will never leave

first maybe I should clarify that I'm not OP (dont want to take over their thread)
nah, its more than just behavior. I am eternally fucked. also I have more issues that I deal with that are also untreatable.
I have no plans on living to 40.

yea I definitely curate how I act around others. but being that I'll always live as a male, acting how I want will only bring issues into my life with little benefit.

>I have no plans on living to 40.
yes, you aren't on your pills
I would have said 30 but some repressors are resilient

oh, I just kept theme. but yea I have no intentions on making it to 30 either. I could repress for life (I know it) but I dont intend to.

how long do plan to keep going?

just a couple years. right now things are kinda complicated so I'm trying to organize some stuff and make it kinda seamless.

thanks user
I will see a therapist soon, and hopefully start on HRT soon enough
I appreciate the advice.

because of the dysphoria or one of the other factors?

a mix of things. I wont get specific, but I have stuff like chronic pains, skin conditions, mental conditions, +dysphoria & depression amongst other things.