Coomer Dysphoria

so i have heard, but just like not all cis women can orgasm, not all amabs on hrt will be lucky, especially late trans.
my obsession has been getting worse and worse to the point where i am really just thinking about taking hrt, see if i get multiple, better orgasms and kill myself when it doesn't work out

i've seriously thought about taking hormones just to chase the orgasm. sometimes i get very, very upset with male sexuality and my obsession with the female orgasm starts to come through. it's usually extremely hard for me to even talk about it and it consumes most of my thoughts even when not horny. it's hard to enjoy anything in life knowing that the female orgasm makes everything else irrelevant. it's hard to enjoy anything in life knowing i'm missing out on it.

it's hard to even write about this stuff without starting to panic. like if i weren't so damn tired i probably would start spiraling hard.
i even have an entire fucking library of posts, accounts, videos, conversations, whatever. all of this shit is memorized and it flashes through my head all the fucking time.

before you ask yeah i'm circumcised and i have tried playing with my prostate a lot, i don't really enjoy it.

if this is causing you so much distress, you should probably try hrt

it's just intense orgasm envy that i surpress with my useless male orgasms which proceed to erase all emotion because being a man just means you're a worthless fucking person and your sexuality reflects it. i am not a trans woman, i'm a mentally ill man with some serious issues. hormones would probably give me reverse dysphoria, they might kill my sexuality and it's possible i'll never experience the ability to have female sexuality

but you are right. i've been looking at ordering HRT for years ever since i learned about the orgasm changes. i hate writing about this stuff like this but i am trying to drive home how much of a gross creep i am that i just want HRT because i envy female sexuality to the point of obsession

HRT for orgasms is a very big commitment. i have to give it at least 2 years before i know if i failed and just kill myself

>useless male orgasms which proceed to erase all emotion because being a man just means you're a worthless fucking person and your sexuality reflects it
yeah it sounds like you're really not happy as a man, beyond just being unsatisfied with orgasms.
I think you should strongly consider trying hrt even just for a few months to see if you like the changes.

What the actual fuck is wrong with men.

I’m an agp coomer, and I feel literally nothing about gender or whatever outside of masturbating exclusively to AGP fantasies. I feel like you have more problems than being AGP, opee.

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every year i get closer to doing it. talking to mtf trans women has absolutely broken me. i've done so much research on this and get to the point where i tell myself i'm going to start
then i masturbate and all energy goes away, or i look at myself and realize i'm never going to pass, and if i'm insane enough to start crying over orgasms i'm probably not going to handle hormones well

i would be doing this completely for sexual reasons to attempt to experience female sexuality. there is no other reason. would this not be the exact kind of coomer reddit hon that this board hates? i am not exaggerating and i want to make this as clear as possible that i just want to cum better. i really am making it as obvious as possible that i'm a pervert who just wants to give up his entire life for sex.

i don't know. i just hate having post nut clarity or refractory periods. i just hate how men seem so proud of their worthless sexualities
don't think most men are like me. but i despise male sexuality so much that it causes me emotional distress

take hrt but dont call yourself trans pls..its that simple i guess

s-sauce...?

>but dont call yourself trans
why would i? i'm an AGP at best, since my ultimate sexual fantasy is to be a woman having orgasms during sex

Is orgasm all you care about? Like do you care at all about wanting to be cute and feminine?

Where do you think your fixation on the female orgasm--seperate from all the other trappings of womanhood--originates from?

>female orgasm
you know that women do not have toe-curling, body-shaking, multiple orgasms every time right? you know that's actually like rare and hard to get? and you know that while not completely made up what you see in porn is mostly fake?
and I fear that taking hormones explicitly for this purpose will end badly. I hope you're aware that it'll probably take some, err, practice to get what you're seeking. you can't just sit there and wait. and it probably won't happen at all if you continue to stroke it like a man does.
I'm not convinced you can't have what you want nor do I think you're necessarily a creep. on the contrary I do think you have some serious inhibitions with regards to sexuality which are coming out in an unusual way. however you should probably not take hormones unless you want to be a woman completely.
I hope you know that the reason women's orgasms are supposed to be different is because women's sexuality is rather different. hormones will change you. that may or may not be distressing. I'm not sure whether you actually want that or whether you want something you've built up in your head. on the other hand I also possibly get a feeling that you may have gender dysphoria but in that case it is clearly repressed. you have to do some introspection.