>try to find clinics or just any way to get access to transgender resources such as being prescribed hormones, changing your name, etc in the Netherlands.
>read about people here having been on 4 year waiting times for HRT, but to even be approved to be put in a waiting list you first need to talk to a specialist which has waiting times that can be around 3 years
>read that there are no informed consent clinics here so I have to through shit like pic rel (shes from my country) and a huge process surrounding it which will probably add up more years, meaning by the time I'll get to start HRT my body will have fully masculinized and HRT won't have much of an effect anymore.
At this point. The fuck do I even do? I'm genuinely considering suicide since it seems like a better and faster option to get rid of the obscene amount of stress and pain having GD gives me. I don't want to be in pain much longer. I have repressed for years already and it ruined my life and I thought I finally made a step in the right direction but every time I try to make a step forward it's like I'm being set a million steps back.
"Just stop repressing" they said
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inhousepharmacy. vu
We are not going to give you drugs to appease your mental illness.
DIY
This is where I can get Diy HRT I'm assuming?
???
hrt.café
i live in netherlands as well. im DIY-ing on a low-risk dose (2mg) i bought at euaibolit.com until i get official treatment. ask questions if you want
other dutch user already replied but you can order diy on hrt.cafe.
i suggest you do a lot of research before starting but im on diy as well, waiting multiple years for the official stuff was too long for me
/hrtgen/ has all the info you need
Step 1: read the /hrtgen/ guide
Step 2: freeze your sperm so you don't regret it 10 years later
Step 3: order sane doses from one of the stores listed in hrt.cafe
it is that easy.
also: reddit.com
OP I also suggest finding a local meeting of trans people in your town to talk about this with, also for information on diy-ing
also plebbit link
reddit.com
>DIY
I don't feel positive about it. I have no idea what dose I need to take and what kind of meds I need. I'm also afraid of getting dangerous side effects just from taking those pills, for taking the wrong dosage or pill type and also since I'm already taking pills for other things, since some people have died from combining certain medication which caused a lethal reaction.
And also it's not just HRT I want I also wish to change my name, maybe even undergo something like FFS
I just feel like a medical professional will handle things better.
>it is that easy.
it really is for the most part, honestly the only thing that was hard for me was getting over my fear of needles. i ordered from otokonoko btw op, you can read a lot about theory on transfemscience_org.
would get started with reading "An Introduction to Hormone Therapy for Transfeminine People" if you're going to DIY
who wants to freeze their sperm? you’re really ok being a biological father? i would never
>And also it's not just HRT I want I also wish to change my name, maybe even undergo something like FFS
queue up for the gender teams and DIY in the meanwhile, waiting 3 years on them to start will most likely bite you in the ass
>3 years + probably around 3 years waiting on list for hrt
Suicide seems so appealing. Like I don't even see it as a bad thing anymore. It's just an easy solution to all my problems.
South NL here, it's a fucking joke how bad it is. I've been dying on injections for 1.5 years now, pass mostly at least live as a woman and I'm still waiting on the intake to even come on the waiting list. That's even aside from joke doses which are given out to some. I just want to get my balls off bros
>ask questions if you want
Do you get it delivered to your house, or do you buy the meds in physical stores?
DIY. It is what almost everyone does here.
The funny thing is that the current waiting lists are "2 years +" which means they can't promise you'll ever get help, but they can promise you won't get help in 2 years.
Either spend time on learning DIY, or if you are really just a brainbroken idiot, try and get a transmommy to help you with your hormones. Some of them will do this for money, called 'transition coaches'.
Changing your name you don't need to do jack for. FFS is expensive, but tbph, I hear if you get it through the government you'll likely get a botchjob anyway.
Did you pass before taking hrt?
>The funny thing is that the current waiting lists are "2 years +" which means they can't promise you'll ever get help, but they can promise you won't get help in 2 years.
Holy fuck I should throw my body off a cliff already what the fuck why is this place such a shithole.
I understand this a lot. I had the same fears as you but if you get educated on it, you can do it safely.
and if you are considering suicide what do you have left to lose? the estradiol can help you feel better in your body and mind which will make dysphoria less, and your other problems less stressing.
my dose:
2 mg estradiol
25 mg cyproteron
of course, check this stuff out for yourself as well. it's at higher doses of test blockers and 4+mg of estradiol where the danger lies. just look for counter interactions for your other meds. really suggest this, it made the whole thing more bearable and I now have patience and am happy as opposed to my traumatized drug/alcohol addicted suicidal self. that was only three months ago. please keep fightin
just get pills. also otokonoko needs creditcard for the netherlands, euaibolit and pharmaonline are the sites that worked for me
They get delivered to my house. Just in the brievenbus. Its better to buy in bulk btw, as they can take up to 15 days to start shipping
i wanna be a transmommy but for free
there's no danger in higher doses of bioidentical estradiol. it's not ethinylestradiol. if you don't take it orally, there's zero risk.
if youre sure of yourself and answer the questions right i dont see how they can say: nah
well i take it orally :/ tfw bloodclot nightmares
>Did you pass before taking hrt?
Was seen as a mostly feminine dude but no
why not injections or transdermal?
I live with my parents who would probably mock me if they found out I am trans. It's over. The ride ends here.
Transmommy but to who?
I'll see if I can figure things out. I'm not sure if I have the energy. I get panic attacks often and my cortisol levels are so high from stress, I don't know why I'm even alive. I never have energy to do things.
sites with injections needed creditcard, i wanted something quick so went with pills. discovered transdermal later but didnt want to switch
Forgot to add that because of I cannot have stuff such as E pills delivered to house
>I live with my parents who would probably mock me if they found out I am trans. It's over. The ride ends here.
Still better than being suicidal/depressed all time. Mine disowned me, you get used to it
are there any frens you can get the mail sent to? maybe if you found people in a local trans group in your city, you can convince someone to collect your mail for you. im certain they wouldnt mind at all since they know your situation
i recognize the low energy a lot, i feel for you. i also know that by taking small steps you can find some strength under there, and slowly get things rolling in your favour. lots of love
>Still better than being suicidal/depressed all time. Mine disowned me, you get used to it
It's better but the problem is: