Be me, straight

>be me, straight
>hmm i like women
>i would kinda like men…if i was a woman…
>oh this is called ‘agp’
>oh im trans
>transition at 25
>5 months on HRT
>dont pass but look like a cute dude, whatever
>try having sex with men finally
>its sexually great but romantically disgusting, i cant even kiss them
>okay thats fine, sexuality is complicated, i just wont date men
>ok living life as a dude on hrt, just knowing im not masculinizing is enough for me
>decide to get keyhole surgery, nascent booba gone, actually feel a lot better
>try to go back to dating world with woman
>realize there is literally no female market for straight, cute, but still masc, dudes with a useless dick that only wants to bottom
>of the females who are okay with this, they are so weirded out by how I’ve modified my body and see my gender, that they never want to date me

i think i made a mistake

should i stop HRT? i like the effects it has on my mind, skin, and fat distribution, but explaining my situation to women is impossible

i wish i could find a cute tall trans gf with a big dick that likes topping, but thats a unicorn, and they seem to usually like topping people that basically look like girls or hypermasc men, not something in between

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another transbian lol

You can't just trick women like this. Were you going to tell them you've have loads of cocks in your ass?

im not really trans anymore, i go by he/him, dress masc, use male bathrooms, etc

i just take HRT and lasered my body/face hair off

and also cut my boobs off

i havent had loads, i only had sex with 3 dudes before i realized its not gonna get better

bi girls are kinda turned on by that, but most bi women also only put up with men bc their desire to be dommed is strong, and i cant dom

Fine a mommy :3

where do i go to find one

if you're on hrt you're trans

>>be me, straight
>>hmm i like women
>>i would kinda like men
you're bi
lol

This isn't necessarily true. I was on HRT for awhile before I realized that the benefits weren't worth the hassle of potentially getting murdered. So now I'm no longer trans. I'm also off of estrogen and am on a much lower dose of t-blockers.

Basically a cis male who hates being called a man (or being perceived as masculine).

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How do you deal with having tits now that you’re off HRT as a “man”?

>“man”
Do NOT call me a man! Do you fucking hear me! I haaate hate hate hate HATE when people call me that. AAAAAAaaaaAAaAaaaahhhhh

>How do you deal with having tits now
I never grew anything more than some tender breast buds before I aborted (5 months in). I honestly love how sensitive my nipples/breasts are now (while still being so small).

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>Do NOT call me a man
only good girls get called a woman
good girls take their pills (you don’t)

>Basically a cis male who hates being called a man (or being perceived as masculine).
you're trans

She’s nearly lost her wings
See if you can get yourself enough functionality to top or even dom or be forevermore a cautionary tale

I AM a good girl, though. I just... I want to be a tomboy who gets to be "one of the guys" sometimes. Can I just tell you what it would be like if I was a woman?

If I was a woman... I would be soooooo bisexual. I would sleep with all the hottest chicks and all the hottest dudes, and I'd be a big ol' raging dyke in public, like Kristen Stewart. But in private I'd also get gangbanged by all the hottest guys. Can you imagine what it would be like having dick on demand like that?

If I was a woman... I would feel way more "at peace" in my body. I HATE feeling like some big, lumbering ape. I want to be a smol little girl with narrow shoulders and a small ribcage and cute little feet. But I'm STUCK in this stupid, smelly, BOY body. I haaaaate it!!
You wouldn't understand...

>good girls take their pills
No! You can't make me! If I start taking my pills again, THEY are going to track me down and kill me. It just isn't worth the risk. That's why I'm back to being cis.

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you're an idiot. Take the pills and stop wasting time

>everything you just said
holy shit you REALLY need to take your pills
>If I start taking my pills again, THEY are going to track me down and kill me. It just isn't worth the risk.
you have an over active imagination, you’ll be fine. you will NEVER be a good girl until you take your pills

see a therapist please

It sounds like you detransitioned and are back to repping but thankfully you didnt go off HRT because you know ultimately you always were a woman and it makes you feel safe.

Regarding men, it sounds like you had a few gross and uncomfortable hookups and need to explore more things given that you liked it sexually.

Honestly you sound totally trans just with a lot of self doubt and clinging to boymodibg/manmoding like most of this sub.

Also general PSA to start girlmoding and take your pills-- this whole meme that everyone will hatecrime you is not true. People will be respectful and ignore it.

>Take the pills and stop wasting time
You don't understand. Not only do I not want to get killed... I also want to unfuck myself. You see, I was *going to* have my sperm frozen... but... I fucking forgot to. So now I'm banking (pun intended) on the notion that I *might not* have 100% chemically castrated myself.

After that I will CONSIDER going back on my full HRT dose.

>>everything you just said
Like what?

>boymoder
I would *never* willingly call myself a boy (or a man). Maybe YOU are the one who needs to take their pills.

Waaay ahead of you there. I'm already on my THIRD gender therapist. The thing is... I can't stand how these "therapists" tend to make a bunch of *assumptions.* Like... I go in there telling them that I am QUESTIONING my gender... and then it's almost like they are ignoring me because they go on to say things like, "Well you know *some trans women* are comfortable having penises" or "Hmm, do you know that *some trans women* black out all memories of their childhood?"

Which makes me go, "Uh, HELLO. That's a very interesting academic aside, but what do *I* have to do with *trans women*?" It's this whole exhausting song and dance that, quite frankly, I'm getting tired of. (Maybe it's time for a new therapist?)

>didn't go off HRT
Yeah, I guess that I am still on T-blockers

>HRT makes you feel safe
It's the darndest thing: If I inject myself with testosterone, it feels like poison is coursing through my veins... and I almost instantly start crying. This happened to me in the doctors office... and neither of us knew what to make of it (maybe the doctor just thought that I was weird?).

And, oddly enough, when I take T-blockers my mood starts to improve: I'm far less anxious and feel "more comfortable" in my body. And when I add estrogen to the mix? Every day seems THAT much brighter.

What puzzles me the most is that these are purely chemical reactions, and how my body naturally responds to them.

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ok so youre trans and also genuinely retarded