IWNBAW

nope, woman.

But that's just not true right now? Like, I've got a full-ass beard (my face is fucking hideous without it), I couldn't in good faith just go about calling myself a woman?

are you not already alone, user? you're living a life that you hate, where day in day out you pretend to be someone that you hate, and, if your negativity is to be believed, with friends that believe "you" is someone else than who you really are, and whose friendship with "you" would be ruined if they knew who you really are. does this not horrify you?
that "chance" is much more likely than you're currently able to see from within the mire of self-hatred and repression you're in, user, but it'll only get worse if you continue to repress

I honestly don't know...I love my friends and my family and I want to make them happy and keep them around because they've done so much for me but I also feel like I'm living a lie but at the same time this is who I actually am and I'm not a woman really and I shouldn't want to be a woman and my friends and family are right and they're trying to keep me from making a mistake with my life

I know that was rambly, but I don't care

anonette you literally think about suicide because of this. the only mistake you're making is continuing to compartmentalize your true self and live your life as someone else at the mercy of other peoples' arbitrary whims rather than for yourself, as yourself. is that what you want?

same

liking anime especially a violent one that is centered around the life and coming-of-age of a teenage boy going through puberty like evangelion is pretty malebrained too bro just wanted to point that out

evangelion and flcl are the childhood we wish we never had, it’s traumatic but relatable

Thanks, I needed another reminder that I'm not a woman and instead I'm trapped in a disgusting male body with a male brain

What I want is to have been born a woman and have lived life as a woman until now, and be accepted by my friends and family as a woman, but I can't have that. Yes, this makes me want to kill myself, but the only thing keeping me from killing myself is that I don't want to hurt my friends and family, and I know that if I transition it will hurt them in a similar way. I don't know if it's better to stay this way but not hurt them or make them hate me. And I'm not even sure what my "true self" means, like, I'm not really a woman, I'm a man with a psychological problem. I'll never be truly female or even truly feminine, I'll just be an effeminate man, and I don't know if I'd ever be able to change that perspective...I don't want to look in the mirror in 50 years and just see an old man who is parodying femininity and who lost his social group to do so

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>I don't want to look in the mirror in 50 years and just see an old man who is parodying femininity and who lost his social group to do so
yeah, instead you'll see a tired, defeated, old man. or, more likely, as you've expressed, you won't even bare to live that long
you're a woman, user, and nothing good can ever possibly come of repressing these feelings. deep down you know this, which is why you're here. it's why you're in so much distress over this. if this really would be a problem to your friends and family, then are they your friends? no. they're the friends of someone else, that man you pretend to be.
no matter how hard you pretend, the feelings will only get worse. one day they'll get so unbearable that you'll either end it, or you'll crack. and when you do crack, you'll regret that you didn't just transition sooner.
you don't have to live like this, user. you can have a life worth living, one where you can be happy, one where you won't feel like a stranger in your own skin. the path you're on now is one of only ruin, and you know it. it's why you want out, through suicide, because you won't let yourself accept that there's another way out - transitioning. don't do this to yourself, user

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You will never be a woman.

You can't change your two very important sex chromosomes from XY to XX.

If you want to act submissive, feminine, take estrogen, and wear skirts, then there is nothing stopping you.