how do i stop hating being gay?
every time i think about marrying a man it makes me cry
sex is already a big struggle for me, cause of trauma, and everything is made worse when i can't pursue or be pursued by anyone without tearing up and wanting to die
i tried therapy, but all the self affirmation shit just made me feel worse, it just made me feel like a faggot, and i've tried hanging out with gay ppl, and i love my lesbo lady friends, but every gay man i've spoken too irl has been fucking horrible, one of them assaulted me, and the rest were lispy queers, tho i've spoken to a lot of awesome gays on the internet but even then the thought of them having sex feels gross, i can't stand it
idk i'm just going crazy and i feel so lost and alone, and nobody gets it, everyone just thinks "why would you even hate being gay?" and it makes me feel like shit because i can't even answer that question, i just do, it's gross, and faggots are rapey disgusting weirdos, idk i'm just in such a bad mood, and i can't stop crying and drinking, and i don't know how to get better
How do i stop hating being gay?
You don't get "better", homosexuality is disgusting, learn to hate and repress it.
thanks for the encouragement, user!!
very helpful!!
why do you think you're gay when you clearly don't want to have sex with other men
i find them very attractive and i want to hug and kiss them
i don't rly want to have sex with ladies either, so it's a null point
also, like a lot of it is trauma from some bad experiences when i was younger ://
Sounds endearing and sweet, user. What's your ideal bf like?
are you an ayyden? you sure fucking write like one
>essay ayyden
idk i want him to be sweet and kind, first of all, but also fun and be able to make me laugh, i want him to be my best friend :))
also i want him to be kinda abnormal and be like weird and interesting, maybe some weird hobbies, i want him to go to the gym with me, and i want him to be gentle and slow, and eat the food that i make
idk i'd like a lot of stuff, also like hot obv ideally, lol
not fat, maybe blue eyes, as tall or taller than me :))
i'm a cis man ://
idk what to tell you
maybe you can be asexual
idk maybe, i still have sexual feelings tho
and i still kind of """want""" to date a man, even tho it rly fucks with me
i'm not gonna just be alone forever
>i'm a cis man ://
troon out
you type like a fucking woman
Maybe you’re demisexual
i've thought about it, but idk if it's for me :v
plus i'm working through one issue at a time, rn i'm doing the sexuality stuff
also tf you mean i "type like a fucking woman"?
user you can date a man and just not fuck him
you can also fuck him if you want to
but you dont have to fuck anyone
but the idea of even dating a man is extremely distressing to me, and i'm probably gonna have to have sex eventually to increase my odds of finding someone to love me, so i want to get over these negative emotions so i can find a partner without a lot of tears
idk what that is ://
idk 90% of the sexualities and genders
>also tf you mean i "type like a fucking woman"?
i mean that you type like a woman
no one would read your posts and think you were male
it reads like you were socialized on tumblr exclusively
i have never used tumblr in my life
Any Forums has been my primary media source since i was like 11 or something
also what aspects of my typing are womanly??
being asexual but thinking you have to fix it to not be alone is also extremely fembrained :)
i didn't make this thread to be called trans :((
and like, it's true, if i want to satisfy a person completely and make them happy to marry me, sex is like kind of a big part of a relationship
and idk if i even am asexual
its almost hard to believe this isnt rp at this point
but yes sex is nice most people think so but many dont
your first priority should be finding a nice man you can trust and love, after that you can decide together if he should fuck you
i'm pretty sure 99.99% of ppl like sex and i'm an exception, and i need to get over that i think, since the odds of finding a person i love that also doesn't want to have sex is like 0%
plus i struggle to find a nice man since i hate gay men and trying to find gay friends makes me teary, i just hate it all and i'll never be able to date in this state and idk how to get over it
you know... it's not gay if you're a woman....
why do ppl in this thread tell me to troon? :(
i would never, i have similar feelings surrounding troonerism as i do homosexuality
>and trying to find gay friends makes me teary
You are insane and annoying. The very thought of a gay friend makes you cry like a hysteric patient in an asylum. Also you admit your hatred and disgust of gay people and yourself is illogical yet you refuse to change that mindset or go to therapy for trauma you obviously have
Fix your shit
literally nothing.
misery loves company. he's trying to get you to ruin your life.
>we are not trying to make you troon!!!
>you are insane, you TRUMPTARD!!!
LOL
you are quiet rude :(
i've literally been to therapy, multiple times, i keep on trying to change but i can't help it
and what exactly do you think i'm trying to do by posting here?
i'm trying to change my mindset, and ppl like you don't help
maybe, maybe ://
I do not know what to tell you, bitch
I know I had to go trough a journey of self-acceptance but it was not something that happened every night and I do not remember every step of the way here
Furthermore it was never this bad to me and I was aware bigots shit on people like us and that it is important to not internalize their external hatred
And, you know, I was not raped. That helped too