You are likely the biggest obstacle in your own way. I realized this tonight while I ran into my boomerhon friend at the club I was at. She pulled a smoking hot goth girl and talked to nearly everyone there. Do you think she was thinking about her gorpus florets shoulder mandible angles and ratios? No, she was literally trying to best she could and having fun. So many people here are so fucking terrified of being percieved the wrong way that they just end up being emotionally unstable shut ins and shoot themselves in the foot. Yes I know most people, myself worst of all, here are absolute autistic retards and this is very hard, but you really have to take small steps to self acceptance and forming connections. I promise you the worthwhile people care do not care even a fraction of a percent as much as you do. Please just try and stop being a shinji and be a Simon the digger. It's a ridiculously slow and painful process, but we are all gonna make it brah
You are likely your biggest obstacle to "making it"
attracting people isn’t the issue i have though it’s passing
yeah i know, gonna get therapy soon, once i find something covered under insurance
Yes but have you considered that I hate that I don’t pass and deserve to be miserable
People liking her doesn't mean that they perceived her as a woman though. That goth girl very likely could've been heterosexual, and liked her because she was attracted to him as a man, not a woman. Being charismatic and socialable and likeable is great, but none of that has to do with being seen as a woman by eyes of society. Plenty of men have good social skills and are well-liked, they're still men though and treated as such. I guarentee you that even though everyone liked that boomerhon personally, they still never saw her as a woman. Deep down they still her as a man.
Thank you, I needed this rn
Also tfw no boomerhon gf to barhop with
1) you literally can't prove that
2) why the fuck should she, or anyone here including (you), care about whether or not the people around her clock her as long as she's having fun and enjoying herself? I know for a fact that my mom will always see me as a man, but she still loves me and we can still enjoy each other's company. It's about playing the hand you're dealt and moving forward.
thanks user, i feel a lot better about tomorrow now
Ok, whatever.
>
1) you literally can't prove that
Yes I can, if they see you as a woman, then you pass, if they don't see you as a woman you don't pass. To pass means to be seen as a woman in the eyes of society, if the boomerhon is seen as treated as a woman, then she passes, if she is seen as a woman, than OP is lying about her being a hon.
>why the fuck should she, or anyone here including (you), care about whether or not the people around her clock her as long as she's having fun and enjoying herself?
Never said that she should care if she is seen as a man or not. In fact, if you do not pass as a woman, the best thing you can do is accept the fact that you don't pass. The only thing you can do is accept that you will never be seen as a woman in the eyes of other people. If you are not willing to accept that, then you will always be a miserable hon.
that's the real pill right there
i have cis girl friends who like me and love me and will share a couch and a drink and a joint with me and will hold me and bitch about their lives and they'll still misgender me to my face. sometimes they'll go oops sorry and correct themselves, sometimes they'll pretend they didn't, and sometimes they'll not even notice it. i don't say anything.
i'm not a woman to them nor to anyone else and never will be.
but the alternative is isolation, misery and suicide. the only way to live is to accept that ywnab but that wokeness means you can be a decently loved parody of one
I guess I've reached the next level where I don't care so much about being seen as a woman but rather I care about being seen as feminine
Here's a question: are hons feminine at all? Is there a spectrum of feminine quality where hons can land on nearly any point that isn't pure raw femininity?
You are either are feminine or you aren't. If you are feminine than people will perceive you that way, if you aren't than they won't perceive you that way. Again, if you aren't seen as feminine the only thing that you can do is accept the fact that you won't be seen as feminine. You just have to accept it.
I heed your nulltrips as I think they may foretell what I am able to glean from you but I shall advance the conversation
What do you think is the approximate number of traits which suggest femininity in which one will be likely to be perceived by the majority as feminine? What about androgyny? Do you think people can be truly androgynous or are there only masculine and feminine people?
>What do you think is the approximate number of traits which suggest femininity in which one will be likely to be perceived by the majority as feminine?
I'm not exactly sure, that's an extremely complicated question but I guess a simple way to look at it is too see gender as on a spectrum. So there would be a spectrum that ranges from femininity to androgyny to masculinity. So in order to be perceived as feminine by other people, you need to be on the feminine side of the spectrum. If you aren't on the feminine side, the majority of people will not see you as a feminine person. Now I think gender is more complex than how I'm describing it because I do not think that the entirety of one's gender expression can be placed onto a one-dimensional spectrum of masculinity and femininity. I think you can have some traits that are very masculine, and others that are very feminine, so it's more complex than just a simplistic one-dimensional line. However generally speaking, it's probably fine to place yourself somewhere along the masculine-feminine dimension. So if you are on the feminine side of that spectrum, you will be seen as feminine, if you aren't on the feminine side, then you will just have to accept the fact that other people don't see you as feminine and never will. Again, it's just something you are going to have accept.
Based post
I've been screaming this shit at people here for a week but this board is so insistant on staying sad and crying about how sad and tragic their life is boo hoo
Even the adults on here act like 16 year olds posting on Twitter most of the time, it's genuinely bewildering to me how they got through most of their life
I promise that if you slam your head into the brick wall enough times, you'll knock it down. come on user. just once more
Hahahaha
Nta but man, I don't know, it just makes me angry seeing this bullshit from people who should adults. Like I can get it when it's coming from sixteen year olds because they don't know shit, but there are 20+ year olds on here who 24/7 whine and whine and it pisses me off
I appreciate the sentiment in the OP. if I ever cringe at someone looking abnormal out there, I remind myself that they have a better attitude than me.
for me, the issues are a) the pure terror that I feel being obviously trans in public and b) my inability to get over my feelings of inauthenticity.
it's tough out there, and when it gets bad, I start to wonder why I even tried. I have basically accepted that I'm my own worst enemy. but it doesn't help me solve the problem
How is this accepting anything? That boomerhon didn't accept that she's a fake, she doubled down in the delusion. Her being happy changes nothing.
I didn't transition to be happy, I wanted some sense of fulfillment. I wanted a husband and kids. I accept now that I cant get that and that I failed. But accepting my failure doesn't mean partying off like a retard, it means collecting my resources and directing them to someone who shares my dream but can actually make it happen for themselves. I think this is how I move on, by helping someone else achieve what I can't get.
This problem is why I advocate what I do
There's no point in transitioning before you accept the fact that you're trans and even, maybe, be proud of it.
If you are terrified of people knowing you're trans then there is still work to do - you need to be comfortable in the label or you'll never be able to walk around without being anxious or negative.
Yeah, I'll never be a woman, but that's fine. I accept that fact because there's nothing more I can do. Once you get past that hurdle, that realization that this is your life and stressing over what could have been is toxic and dangerous to your mental stability.
Here, a living example of that.
Listen, you want something that is impossible with current technology. You'll never, NEVER be happy if you keep obsessing over wanting to have biological children and whatever, because it's something out of your control and that you cannot change. You didn't "fail" because it wasn't your burden in the first place, it was an impossibility that you placed upon yourself. And no, absolutely not, convincing someone else that they could be a mother and wife as if they're a biological woman is not the way to happiness, it's how you create another deeply troubled individual who will always obsess over what they're not over what they can be.