I've got serious hrt post-purchase regret

>i'm worried about fertility :((
you can freeze sperm. it's good to freeze sperm while young, anyway. every day you age damages and mutates a higher and higher percentage of your sperm and further damages/mutates the ones that have already accumulated mutations. the best chance of having the healthiest possible kids is by freezing sperm/eggs early. it's very possible a big part of the increase in autism (and maybe gender transitioning...) is people having kids later and later

I very definitely never want kids (including adopted or any other kind) so that never crossed my mind. my real concern is that I actually am not infertile, so I still have to use a condom and everything. I was going to get a vasectomy before I considered HRT and I probably still should t b h

>also i'm not sure i can make myself take them, everytime i try i just like seize up, i feel like my heart like stops, and i'm just super super averse to doing that
the first time is always weird but just do it. there are two negative scenarios here:

>you start today and then in some weeks or months decide you don't want it and you stop and just live on as a man
>you hold off and then start taking it and then months later curse yourself for not starting earlier

and then of course the one positive scenario:

>you start today and like the effects and continue taking it

especially since you clearly wanted them enough to order them, the rational thing is to start today. or right this instant.

I guess you could hold off until you get a chance to freeze sperm but who knows how long that might take. but also, are you really okay with passing on trans genes + whatever other life-impacting genes you might have onto a kid?

If you're not 100% sure and you don't even have dsyphoria then there's no reason to do it. Why did you even want to get them in the first place? What is it you want out of HRT?

>actual pinkpill thread
>do it op do it op do it op
jesus fucking christ. y’all the same people shitting your pants over grooming accusations?

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OP already ordered estrogen and physically has it in their possession. if they hadn't ordered it I'd just be like "you should maybe consider if you could be trans". but if they went as far as actually buying it, clearly deep down they want to do it and just have some psychological hang-ups

I don't pinkpill people. OP literally pinkpilled themselves by voluntarily buying pink pills and having them mailed to her address

It's crazy to me that someone who doesn't care that much can just do it so easily. I'm a really anxious and indecisive person, even small decisions feel monumental to me and stress me out, and transitioning is about the most monumental decision there is. I guess there's just different types of people, like your level of want and apprehension are both low but the want is higher. My level of want is extremely high to the point where I've considered rope over not being a woman and I think about it all the time, but my fear is so high that I'm just paralyzed in limbo. I wish I was really low inhibition sometimes.

We'd do the same if they picked up application filled it out and go hired, on the first day of work went "I dont think I want this".

We'd tell them to fucking try it first.
If they said I have terrible anxiety and it's making life way to hard, my doctor prescribed me valium, but Im to scared to take it.

We'd say take it you fag, but for a week at least... See what happens.

It sounds like you have dysphoria but also a lot of general mental issues and high anxiety then. You should at least take it for a while since short term effects are not permanent, and consider therapy to work through the other issues in the mean time, if they dont just vanish when you recalibrate your brain with estrogen lol.

yeah, i haven't cause it's still a big decision
it's like, idk not as easy as just taking it
i don't think being trans is a genetic thing, lol i think it's usually abuse that does it, tbqh
but yeah, kids are important to me and i'd like to have them eventually, i'll probably freeze sperm, but it'll probably be a while before i'll be able
i'm not even sure which pills are which, cause the seller sent them unlabeled, lol
idk, i'm kinda just looking at them rn, it's scary
idk, sometimes i feel more tranny stuff than normal, and it was in that state i decided to purchase

I ordered hrt today
I was worried that this would happen to me, that I won't want to take it once I get it
I guess we'll see

good luck :))
i bet it'll go well for you!

>thought it might make my meatvehicle look more attractive or aesthetically pleasing
assume it was effective?

thank you, after reading this thread I'm less worried I think

i'm probably more worried, lmao
smoking makes me feel more womanly, so i might do that

>It's crazy to me that someone who doesn't care that much can just do it so easily. I'm a really anxious and indecisive person, even small decisions feel monumental to me and stress me out, and transitioning is about the most monumental decision there is. I guess there's just different types of people, like your level of want and apprehension are both low but the want is higher. My level of want is extremely high to the point where I've considered rope over not being a woman and I think about it all the time, but my fear is so high that I'm just paralyzed in limbo. I wish I was really low inhibition sometimes.
the thing is I really don't have low inhibitions at all. I overthink everything. part of why it's easy for me is because it's not monumental to me, mostly because I don't feel like a woman or have desire to be one despite the fact I'm taking female sex hormones. it's a much bigger deal to actually alter your whole identity

people might think HRT femboys are copers, but it's not a big deal to me because it genuinely is not a big deal. for me it's no different from a male bodybuilder deciding to take steroids for a bit of a boost. it's just femboymaxxing and not literally transitioning my entire being from one gender to the other and changing my name and behavior and how I dress and what pronouns I want. I've changed and will change no part of myself with the exception of taking this one supplement.

as mentioned, the only thing that really made me hesitate was dick shrinking/atrophying stuff, but I was eventually convinced T gel + regular use should probably reduce the risk sufficiently. if I end up having permanent size loss despite the precautions I am probably going to regret it deeply though, to be honest. I didn't have any depression or dysphoria and still don't, but I'd probably develop it if it did that. I don't recommend such experimental techniques to other non-trans people and I've just decided to accept the risk and see how things go

oh yeah smoking makes me anxious as fuck if I don't have something else to distract myself with
I got high last night and almost had a breakdown over deciding to transition

That's the thing though user, it is just as easy as taking it. Overthinking it makes it seem like some ordeal when you just have to unseal your lips, toss it back, and sip a bit of water.

Just think of the wave of relaxation that will hit you taking the plunge, and tossing out all the anticipation.

Yeah, I think it would at least be worth trying to put estrogen in my body for a couple months. I'm kinda worried if I could pass well enough (maybe I could??? A few people have said I could but I don't know), that's like my biggest concern, because if I can pass pretty well people will treat me better and be more accepting, plus it would be good for my own mental health. Totally not passing freaks me out and I'd probably have to detrans or manmode. I think if I wasn't in a relationship I'd just say fuck it and try taking E but that's making it hard. I told my partner that I think I might be trans after they kept asking me over and over what's wrong because they could tell I haven't been okay, but I'm just paralyzed after that and can't go further. Something in my head kept telling me not to get into a relationship but they initiated it and I didn't say no so here I am. I think I'll probably try therapy at this point, I dunno.
Yeah I guess it's not as big of a deal if you're not changing how you present at all. But, uh, how are you going to deal with growing tits?

smoking doesn't really do as much for me as i'd hoped, but ig it makes me a little more suggestible, and interested in stuff, which is nice, i think it makes me funner to be around
it mostly just makes my head feel light, which is still better than just sober
i'm p sure they're sublingual :v
but also it seriously isn't like, that simple, mental barriers can be just as real as physical ones!!

>i don't think being trans is a genetic thing, lol i think it's usually abuse that does it, tbqh
the abuse thing is a right-wing myth. there is some correlation, but most of that comes from the fact that trans kids are far more likely to be abused for being trans (or perceived as GNC or gay or otherwise just being unusual or depressed or unable to cope with existence). lots of evidence shows there's a genetic correlation. a lot is also environmental, like what hormones you're exposed to in the womb and how they affect you, but genes can affect that process, so it gets complicated

the vast majority of people who are gay or trans are not gay or trans because they were abused

>i'm not even sure which pills are which, cause the seller sent them unlabeled, lol
that's kind of odd... but one is presumably estrogen and the other is presumably an antiandrogen and you probably take one of each daily

>assume it was effective?
only started like two months ago and the dose is currently on the lower side, so it remains to be seen. I mostly like the effects so far, though. I was expecting it to have undesirable effects on my sexuality, but it seems to actually make my penis more sensitive and also makes my orgasms feel better and last longer. (and no I don't have AGP or any fetishes.) I might keep the dose on the lower side just to preserve that, but unsure

>But, uh, how are you going to deal with growing tits?
hide them as much as I can and probably get them chopped off if I no longer can. I don't think I care that much one way or the other and would just care about embarrassment from other people seeing them. I'm probably weird in that I don't really care what body I do or don't have. if I were born with a chad body I'm pretty confident I'd be at the gym working out every day instead, but I just happened to be born with a vaguely androgynous one, so I likely have a higher physical attractiveness cap with estrogen than testosterone

That's why you weigh the relief of taking it against the fear of it.
Your like my bf who trooned out on me, he would take his pill bottle, and hold it every morning just staring at it. That went on for over a month.
I literally had to hold him down and apply some pressure to get him to take his first.

Then he felt so silly for overthinking it that much.
I mean really what is there to be apprehensive about? You dont turn into a girl over night... It's a slow gradual process.