I'm afab and I have dysphoria over not being mtf

I'm afab and I have dysphoria over not being mtf

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penis envy strikes again

do you think anyone would call you on it if you went on T for a while to hon yourself out with the voice and beard shadow then just stopped and told everyone you were a post op mtf?

what would you actually want out of being mtf, in terms of physical differences?

get bangs

I fucking hate you, my life is a torture, I'll always feel like a phony everywhere I go. And you want this? This fucking curse?

I want the curse. I want to be a self-made woman

Idk of this is or isn't bait I'd genuinely wanna know what about us trannies is desirable over being double X ?

ok but like if this was real you wouldn't want to be any of the ugly or uncanny ones

You will never achieve as much as you could, everything that is hard for you, is ten times harder for me.
I will literally have to pay thousands of dollars in surgeries before I'm allowed into female spaces without raising eyebrows. I will need years of voice training to stop cis females from clocking my voice.

user I am aware. I want that for me.

Your cute, you sound like my female friends when they tell me my hon shoulders and giant hands don't keep me from passing.

Although i can understand wanting to be MTF and be taller and stronger, you're much better off having a natural estrogen puberty-- the effect on posture and hip development especially. MTFs who don't get on HRT early enough have fused narrow hips and slouch that is hard to reverse.

That's like wanting your limbs amputated and then wanting to suck cocks all your life to buy prosthetics one by one, what is wrong with you, woman?

hahaha mood
whats up with this? like what even causes it

shave the top of your head that might give you some gender euphoria

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i'm ftm, i sometimes feel jealousy (not really dysphoria) over not being mtf because sometimes i just want to be an agp girlmoder. but im probably just horny.

Your thoughts on hons?

I relate. I want to experience true agp. I want to feel gender euphoria for putting on a dress after a lifetime of not being able to. I hate being desensitized to enjoying femininity.

you don't know the pain
stop posting, you're making me hate women (ftms included)

I think sensations like this may be roundabout cope. You can't be a bioman. Over there you see biomen that desperately want to throw it away by transition. From your POV, you see it's perfect. You keep the female role and don't upset people you know or your family, but secretly get to be male like you want. The perfect crime.

But then I'm probably psychotic and projecting.

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I hate that this kind of makes sense

>I want the curse. I want to be a self-made woman

damn, when you put it that way it makes having this awful condition sound oddly inspirational.

idk
whats up with them?
well im neither

if it makes you feel better I don't even experience this as an mtf

It IS inspirational. I want to have the deck stacked against me and be forced to carve my own womanhood despite being born and socialized as a male. Beautiful trans women, specifically twinkhons and others who transitioned post puberty, are superhumans. They are the truest, purest women that exist.

It only kind of makes sense to me too. I don't know.

Some part of me is fascinated by FTM and I can only figure that's why. If I have to be male, why can't I at least have some facet of it I find tolerable? Presentable enough, even borderline, as male yet not truly masculine. Lacking boobs isn't a a deal breaker if you're desperate enough. Not sure I'd enjoy really big ones or not anyway. Still get a vagina. Not like I ever planned to have sex, and I don't want to be in a relationship as I am. It's not like I'm losing anything. What I do gain is some solace in my private time.

But it's just a delusion. How could such a thing happen if not by will of God?

Then there's the fact the center cannot hold. What is this my imagination is planning? If I'm FTM am I taking testosterone? That would be a disaster in the long term. Or am I secretly imagining some scenario where my body is simply like that and I don't have to worry about becoming any manlier? And if I'm hoping for a literal miracle from God, do I not just go all the way? Am I just negotiating with the fact I perceive I'm expected to be a man?

I'm not FTM but I can see it being no different in reverse.

But even in saying all this I am still only at "sort of convincing". Which isn't a good sign in itself.