Wow. its so over. im too mentally ill to continue my grad program. I think im going to quit. five years wasted

wow. its so over. im too mentally ill to continue my grad program. I think im going to quit. five years wasted.

Attached: mishima2.jpg (1000x1126, 257.33K)

i got into the office at a reasonable time today. looked over some simulation results, called my advisor and we took care of some loose ends.
now I have to finish up printing out some more data that will tell us how to improve our algorithm. but I open up the source code and am almost about to finish... but I can't. it feels so futile.
i have never underachieved the way I have in my program. I have blown an opportunity I looked forward to having since middle school.
and now what am I gonna do? drop out and transition to an unpassing tranny?
jesus christ. i dont want to be apart of this society anymore. i feel fucking drunk. im dizzy. my life points nowhere

now, if I was Aoife or ghoulchan or some other passing tranner, I'd get a million replies. id get a ton of support. but they are the elect, and we're the preterite. the only reality that touches us is death

Imagine being American
lol

Take your pills, retard. It's not gonna get any better.

IMO if the options are troon out or sui, im going for troon out cos if it doesnt work out you can always do the other

made me laugh for some reason. thanks.
i think im going to do
kaczynskimode (minus the unabombing) -> troon -> sui

You can transition in school. It will be hard, but you can do it

Don’t give up. People don’t believe we can be trans and do big things but you can

What's your fave Mishima work?

seek help and stay away from /tttt/ you're probably NOT a tranny but stumpled upon it while looking for "a way out". And since you're probably kinda fruity, you may have loads of baggage left from your teens and childhood to work through. Therapy isn't a meme, anti depressants are neither. Try em both before fucking up.

>minus the unabombing
Booooooooriiiiiiinnnnnnggg

>Therapy isn't a meme, anti depressants are neither.
therapists just tell me to troon
to cope with modern life everyone needs to be pumped full of antidepressants. i sat under a tree just an hour ago and actually felt peace. maybe there really is something to the hermetic lifestyle

>repper
>computers graduate course
>cannot finish
Kek! Many such cases!

computational physics

>therapists just tell me to troon
yeah, that's because they need to "affirm" you when you drop any hint of that. Next time just say you're gay and focus on telling them about the actual stressors in your life, why your career isn't what you thought, stuff like that.

>to cope with modern life everyone needs to be pumped full of antidepressants.

pretty much.

>i sat under a tree just an hour ago and actually felt peace.

sounds like too much screentime - unironically. you sound burned out.

im agp.

Therapists tell you to troon because you need it

Oh well close enough right?

Anyway you at least need to start hrt, if you're close to done anyway you don't have to actually transition but the hrt may give you enough strength to finish

do what I did, go back in time 15 years go into quant trading and retire by mid 30s instead of academia.

just tell them
>well, uh, it's complicated but generally I'm sexually submissive and like looking cute for male attention.

for normies that's just gay.

>kaczynskimode
he was a math genius before he went unabombing.

by all accounts he was mediocre.

I think you're right, it's just that by trooning my 27 year old sense of self needs to be usurped completely. god. there is no dignity in being this old, this unfeminine, and transitioning.
>unironically. you sound burned out.
if I wasn't in school any more it'd be easier to figure all this out.
he was the youngest math prof at Berkeley, right?
my path is just a more mediocre version of his. i'll have my barely coherent manifesto published in the Montana Standard.