Hi Any Forums, I'm an old school Any Forumstard who comes here a couple of times a year to see what's going on in your community. I need your input on some personal things.
I'll be 39 in 9 days. I have always been attracted to women, But I've never really been purely physically attracted to women. I have always been way more attracted to a girls personality, and stories, words get me more turned on than images. I know this a very feminine thing. I'm also language oriented in general, rather than scientific. I'm more emotional and empathetic than logical, though I still retain pragmatism.
At 13, I read a book "Imajica" by Clive Barker, which contained a character named Pie 'oh' pah who was neither male nor female, though he presented masculine. I began to use his name as my pseudonym. I really related to this character.
I have never felt like a man. I don't get along with most men, especially typical masculine men. I'm disgusted by the way they talk about and treat women. All of my friends, even female friends, have always called me a woman. I'm not effeminate in any way; I have a deeper voice, I played sports, practiced martial arts, got in a lot of fights, I'm competitive, etc. But I'm still very feminine in the way I value relationships over objects, I choose my friends based on who the are as people, not common interests, I'm moved to tears by beauty, I'm extremely empathetic,etc.
I often used to say that I identify as a man, but it with men. If I had grown up with today's atmosphere, I'm not sure how I would label myself. I've always openly told everyone that I wish I'd been born a woman, but I never had the delusion that I could become a woman. I wouldn't say I had dysmorphia, but I did used to shower with the lights off after puberty for many years, and avoided looking in mirrors.Over the years have learned to love my body for all it can do. But since puberty, I have and still feel like I was born in the wrong body. Never owned porn. What am I?