Hi Any Forums...

Hi Any Forums, I'm an old school Any Forumstard who comes here a couple of times a year to see what's going on in your community. I need your input on some personal things.

I'll be 39 in 9 days. I have always been attracted to women, But I've never really been purely physically attracted to women. I have always been way more attracted to a girls personality, and stories, words get me more turned on than images. I know this a very feminine thing. I'm also language oriented in general, rather than scientific. I'm more emotional and empathetic than logical, though I still retain pragmatism.

At 13, I read a book "Imajica" by Clive Barker, which contained a character named Pie 'oh' pah who was neither male nor female, though he presented masculine. I began to use his name as my pseudonym. I really related to this character.

I have never felt like a man. I don't get along with most men, especially typical masculine men. I'm disgusted by the way they talk about and treat women. All of my friends, even female friends, have always called me a woman. I'm not effeminate in any way; I have a deeper voice, I played sports, practiced martial arts, got in a lot of fights, I'm competitive, etc. But I'm still very feminine in the way I value relationships over objects, I choose my friends based on who the are as people, not common interests, I'm moved to tears by beauty, I'm extremely empathetic,etc.

I often used to say that I identify as a man, but it with men. If I had grown up with today's atmosphere, I'm not sure how I would label myself. I've always openly told everyone that I wish I'd been born a woman, but I never had the delusion that I could become a woman. I wouldn't say I had dysmorphia, but I did used to shower with the lights off after puberty for many years, and avoided looking in mirrors.Over the years have learned to love my body for all it can do. But since puberty, I have and still feel like I was born in the wrong body. Never owned porn. What am I?

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You're a Gender Nonconforming man. In another life, you might have flirted with being nonbinary

this is pretty much true.

I hear a lot of people who aren't super familiar with transness refer to dysmorphia. While trans people can absolutely have body dysmorphic disorder, it's different from gender dysphoria. Your description does sound like dysphoria to me, but I can't diagnose you and you're the one with the clearest view of your experiences

ur to old to be asking these questions off yourself aging faggot

I have always worn women's clothes. Not dresses, but for example today I worse a pair of women's Ralph Lauren purple pants. I used to wear a pink shall, girls bondage pants, and women's tee shirts that had stuff I liked on them like Audrey Hepburn or Prince in the 90's/00's in Louisville, KY. But I never tried to look like a woman. Im swimmer type muscular, and I've worn facial hair a lot. Should I just go on identifying as a man? I don't want to see like I'm just being trendy. Do I belong anywhere in the LGBT community?

nta but I'm imagining you aren't looking to transition or anything like that, just do things that make you feel better and more right? identifying as NB sounds like it would be legitimate, not overly trendy for you

Well, I'm familiar with dysmorphia via anorexia and bulimia. I know it's not the same, but I've read up on that quite a bit. I don't feel like I was delusional about my body, which I assume is a part of dysmorphia. For example, no matter how much you looked like a woman,you'd only see masculine traits in the mirror.

What does age have to do with anything? Age has always been a big problem for me, because I've never fit in with people my own age. I got along better with adults as a child, and I get along with both teens/20's and older people, 60+, now. I don't think age really matters, and it's just another box to put people in.

Just ask yourself if you want HRT or not. I was never super feminine and never crossdressed but I knew I wanted a female body, breasts, phenotype, genitals, etc. Clothes don't really matter desu, nor does personality.

You mention hating your body, but then "learned to like your male body". Have you ever thought about having a more feminine one instead?

This is correct, and I'm wondering if there's a community where I'd fit in. Aren't most NBs just teenage girls who would be a tomboys at any other point in history, or a lesbian phase, or they're just dealing with normal teenage identity stuff and trying on different things like they are outfits?

>wish I'd been born a woman, but I never had the delusion that I could become a woman. I wouldn't say I had dysmorphia, but I did used to shower with the lights off after puberty for many years, and avoided looking in mirrors.Over the years have learned to love my body for all it can do. But since puberty, I have and still feel like I was born in the wrong body.
totally not trans btw

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Older NBs usually have a more nuanced idea of gender identity (and fluidity) and actually embody really cool GNC elements. I have plenty of NB friends who pretty clearly aren't confused about their identity

also personally, I've had the same mirror, shower situation and I've physically transitioned, and am a lot happier now.

>I've always openly told everyone that I wish I'd been born a woman
>used to shower with the lights off after puberty for many years, and avoided looking in mirrors
Gender dysphoria.
>What am I?
At this point it's a bit late to transition so you may as well keep identifying as a weird cishet man unless your dysphoria got worse to the point where you're willing to take estrogen.
By the way, you have AGP, right?

>usually have a more nuanced idea of gender identity (and fluidity) and actually embody really cool GNC elements.
Not OP but like what?

a lot of older NBs I'm friends with/follow have really interesting aesthetics? plenty of famous people have done similar (prince, Bowie, etc)

40-year-old pol faggots deserve their suffering

I see, I have the ideas but don't wanna embody them and like "embody" being GNC or non-binary, like have the David Bowie aesthetic, I just have the openness to a lot of GNC ideas and am AGP I wonder if it still counts if its like all mental non-binaryness

a faggot

> b-but old people can't join my club for young sexy people!