Any other man here is an AGPcel? Outwardly normal but a virgin because of having AGP-related inhibitions with women?

I'm not gynephilic but I had weird crushes on girls growing up that I believe were really agp

I'd choose which girl as my favorite in pop groups or tv shows based on which one I'd like to be and "liked" them like that, I felt that sort of emotional pull to them, where other boys would say it's because they thought they were cute and want them as a gf etc.

The crushes I had on girls later on as a teen were envy as well, sort of just being so enthralled by them, blushing and anxious, because I thought they were cool and wished I could be closer to them and be like them. Sort of like someone being around a celebrity or popular person and wanting it to rub off on them somehow.

I tried to convince myself that that's what the other boys felt too, that my feelings were "romantic love! I'm straight I'm straight!" but it wasn't. It was impossible for me to think about anything sexual with any of these girls either.

lol this 100%, thank you for putting it into words so thoroughly

They gravitate towards women and sometimes stare at them way too long, but the feelings are muddled and you mistake it for just having a regular crush. At any point if you asked an AGP what they would do with their girl crushes, they would prob stop just at making out. No fondling her tits or dicking her down, just a mushy non-sexual attraction

Yeah but I would totally go down on them or get pegged by them or amazon position

Basically femdom, though if you don't even have sexual femdom fantasies then yeah thats different, since girls into femdom are rare you are still SOL really even as a heterosexual AGP. Had so many femdom teacher fantasies...

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Yeah literally, I'd catch myself noticing them so much, that I thought that this was the "crushes" I'd heard so much about. I'd think like "Oh thank god I'm actually normal! My freaky agp fantasies will go away now for sure!". I would think of dating them or going to the movies etc. But it would just be mushy things that I was reading in my romance stories and manga.

I literally didn't fully realize that Boys Want To FUCK Girls for many years. I was really afraid of confronting that. I even changed how I masturbated (prone to stroking) to try and reprogram my brain to want to penetrate or something. But I couldn't do it. Thinking of a woman sexually like that made me feel so sick and nauxious. Like trying to think about sex with a sibling or best friend.

I tried once really hard and the fantasy girl literally transformed into a dominant guy in my head LOL. I actually coped with "Maybe I can find a dominant gf somewhere??" which didn't take of course.

bump for more stories

>how would AGP ruin your relationship?
Never had a relationship so I don't know. But sexually, I just find it hard to imagine myself in the role of the strong dominant masc top that almost all women seem to want. It just doesn't come naturally to me even though I'm definitely attracted to women visually.
>How does gynephilic attraction to women manifest in pre troonery AGPs?
I wouldn't call myself pre-troon because I'm not going to transition. That said, I'm attracted to both women and feminine men, but I think it's in a softer way than most men, I don't really have an urge to dick them down.

Cloistered (G3) gender dysphoric boys appear to others and even to themselves to be heterosexual. Although as a group they are not especially active daters, they clearly prefer to date girls when they do date. Significantly, unlike other boys, their dating motives are markedly different. For these boys, being on a date with a girl is a chance to spend time with a girl in a way not generally allowed under other circumstances.

Dating serves two purposes for these boys. The first is social, as it gives them the all-important appearance of being normal. The second is therapeutic. Being close to a girl's softness, and even her female smell, has a mitigating effect on gender expression deprivation anxiety. The fantasy is not to make love to her but to actually be her.

This is from the Avitale article if anyone is wondering.

Who do you most often imagine having sex with in your fantasies?

>But sexually, I just find it hard to imagine myself in the role of the strong dominant masc top that almost all women seem to want. It just doesn't come naturally to me even though I'm definitely attracted to women visually.
Same only femdom or gentle femdom, I hate the thought being forced to act "macho" or like a top but I'm really into missionary where its equal and more loving

>That said, I'm attracted to both women and feminine men, but I think it's in a softer way than most men, I don't really have an urge to dick them down.
And same, I would want what I described above equally with them too, I'm even into the idea of t4t, just both of us sharing in our femininity and making love would be nice

Anything free of the typical "heteronormative" relationships dynamics crap feels nice and liberating basically.

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Feminine twinks, definitely. I'm not sure if that's because I'm more attracted to them than to women though. It may be because even in fantasies involving women, I feel a pressure to perform and be macho.

Yes. I dated a friend for like a week once, but otherwise nothing. I’ve realized that most of it is due to my untreated gender dysphoria and most of the reason I appear “normal-ish” is because I’m constantly suppressing myself. I’ve started talking how I want, using more fem mannerisms, dressing how I want, and having more feminine hair styling and I’m happier

So I’m going to transition and manmode for a while. It’s just not healthy how I was living and I’m realizing that I’m holding myself back too badly.

I’ve always been very confused by myself and why I didn’t date, and my agp was bad and I always wanted to be a woman and even if I don’t end up passing, I’m in a kinda safe environment and I just can’t deal with the dysphoria anymore. Sorry for anyone else who’s volcel like this. It kinda feels like living in purgatory. I don’t know if any of you are also bisexual, but seeing a therapist about that has been nice. I’ve realized I like men more and I’m more motivated to date coming to terms with that

Hope it gets better. Keep your heads up

*sigh*

>I’ve started talking how I want, using more fem mannerisms, dressing how I want, and having more feminine hair styling and I’m happier
That's wonderful! I always suggested this to anons when agpg was still up. Even if they decided to not transition, why not be more fem if you could? If you're agp you'll definitely enjoy doing it at least a LITTLE. Almost all agps are so criminally suppressed in their self-expression, even just how they talk, and I know they'd be happier letting themselves be less masc. If they just drop the self-censorship most agps would probably find they're naturally more fem then they realize. That's good to hear you're letting yourself grow and try new things too. Every agp deserves a safe supportive environment.

I was also very confused by myself at puberty, "Why don't I feel like dating any girls or really anybody?". my parents would (angrily) ask if I was gay, but I'd say no because I legit didn't feel gay either. I knew what my fantasies were and knew that wasn't homosexuality. Once I started letting myself be more fem it's like the floodgates slowly opened in terms of feeling like a normal person with desires and attractions and so on, where everything before was always working through a suffocating filter (which is why I saw girls and would think stuff like )