Be me

>be me
>female biology
>infertile and weird genital deformations, penetration is impossible, most likely a flavor of intersexuality but i've never been to a gynecologist in my life
>looks like a mix between male and female
>gets treated like i'm invisible since early childhood
>have never been with other women or men, i have always been my very own category in social settings
>didn't experience womanhood nor manhood, both was like looking from the outside in
>can relate a lot more to mtfs than to ftms
>identity is a mess

this feels a bit lonely, i have never met someone like me in my life

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You only need to be you, user. I live my public life as a woman, but I don't feel strongly as either gender personally. That's just not something easy to explain or express. There's no rule that says people who are intersex, trans, or queer must necessarily wear it on their sleeve.

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>i've never been to a gynecologist in my life
GO TO THE GYNECOLOGIST, CHRIST

no idea how you look but keep in mind the androgynous look can be considered extremely attractive to many, even if among "normies" it may be considered abnormal and therefore unattractive

thank you, i'll try

my parents never thought it was necessary but i'm 18 now, so it should work out. i'm kind of intimidated though, what if they want to change something about my body?

i have kept my biology secret for as long as i can remember, even back when i was in school i'd always change in the bathroom instead of the locker rooms because i felt like i was a man among girls. it was a way of self-protection also, that's why i'm still hesitating to go to the gynecologist

Why don't you just live your fucking life?

i do and it's a pretty shit life

What's shit about it, aside from being physically unusual? Are you afraid to be intimate with people? Afraid they'll reject you?

yes

Would you undergo changes so ordinary people wouldn't suspect anything? Or would you prefer to remain as you are, and find someone who doesn't mind?

you are a male tranny and possible just coping.

i'm not but there are some similarities, i guess

This is where the importance of going to the gynecologist once a year comes in. After all, this professional will be responsible for detecting changes in the uterus, confirming a pregnancy, or even the presence of sexually transmitted diseases (besides cancer), there is nothing to be ashamed of. A gynecologist is a doctor responsible for part of your health and never would offer harmful treatment to you, nor move you against your will, everything you do will be consensual, and it must have been bad for you to spend your adolescence like that, but now you're an adult, and you don't have to go through that anymore.
Your parents should have taken you, it's dangerous not to go.

i would prefer to remain as i am since that's all i know for now

Believe it or not intersex people do exist. I dated one just like OP. Bit of an eldritch thing going on between the legs, which I chose willfully not to see or remember, out of respect for them.

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you're right, i will make an appointment. still kind of worried but it's too important to ignore

thank you fren

>an eldritch thing which i chose willfully not to see or remember

omg this didn't exactly make me more confident

Just get a mtf gf, that sounds pretty similar to one desu

Would kiss op

It kinda comforts me that my shitty life as an mtf is at least relatable to someone like you OP. Makes me feel like its not all pointless and unnatural I guess. Hope you can find some comfort and good people

i am only in this thread because i've seen a pic from my favourite anime on Any Forums main page
two points:
1. you are gay
2. go fuck yourself :DDDDD
3. crimea belongs to crimeans

hey, i don't normally do this but this is very similar to my own experiences. similar form of genital disfigurement and difficulty with penetration as an afab, and i was also very androgynous until i was medicated. Azzie#1998, message me if you need any help or medical advice. i've found that yasmin helps along with spiro. you may have mild CAH or severe PCOS like me.

also fourth one, life is a mess just like you are a mess, so trabsitioning to an assault helicopter only makes it even more a mess. this is the most careful analysis of your situation i can give op, bye

>crimea belongs to crimeans
Who are Russians...

You are welcome, Xuxu

also seconding this as much as remaining as you are sounds good unfortunately this shit can have pretty severe health complications and up your risk of reproductive cancers.. It's worth seeking some help just to make sure. Regular pap smears. Even mildly intersex afabs can have this issue and risk cancer or needing a sudden hysterectomy, as much as it doesn't seem like it we need help with reproduce health more than most people because our excess testosterone can cause cancer.