I've been as stealth as possible since I was 8. Started T at 12 and got bottom surgery once I turned 18 in 2019.
After that, I mostly just forgot that I was trans at all and it never really affected my life, I just lived like a typical cis guy.
UNTIL last year, in 2021, when my college roommate who's an *actual* cis guy clocked me somehow.
Now I'm constantly paranoid about how many other people can clock me. I keep thinking that I actually look feminine somehow or that there's something non-cis passing about me.
I'm a little obsessed with reading between skull or bone shape differences between cis men and women. I spend too much time in LGBT+ spaces AND transphobic spaces and make myself feel way more insecure than I ever did living stealth as a cishet guy.
I have a lot of uncomfortable memories connected to being trans and those keep popping up into my head whereas I more or less had forgotten about them when I forgot about being trans.
How do I go back to feeling like I felt during 2019-2021 ish? I hate feeling insecure asf like this.
>How do I go back to feeling like I felt during 2019-2021 ish? I hate feeling insecure asf like this. you are asking a bunch of people who have never known that feeling I guess just focus on other stuff to cope, that's what I do
Post selfie and i’ll tell you how he clocked you. If nothing wrong with your face then it was voice
Xavier Carter
If you’ve been stealth since you were 8 at this point surely you’ve been living longer as a man than you ever were than a girl. You said you’ve got bottom surgery so you got a dick. Do you have facial hair? Do you work out? The differences between you and a cis guy are basically negligible at this point. Leave your past in the past, it don’t fucking matter. You’re a guy
Jose Hughes
this a pic of you or what?
Gavin Harris
I've posted selfies here a couple times and no one seems to think there's anything wrong with it. My voice is perfectly fine too (I think), I saw multiple ENT surgeons and voice therapists about it in 2019 and even saw one speech therapist and one ENT surgeon about it last month but they all said it sounds fine. I'll try to record it and then upload it though
Grayson Edwards
He prob just frequents trans spaces so he knows what to look for I never knew how to clock pooners til I came here
Zachary Bennett
No, that's not a pic of me lol it's a relatively famous trans guy who went and took pics of himself in the women's restroom to show the logical conclusion of some bathroom bills
This is what I look like (bald is most recent, but otherwise random chronological order): imgur.com/a/33y8mGp
>Leave your past in the past Easier said than done, idk how to ): I have facial hair but can't work out due to disability.
Samuel Evans
Bald is a good look for you but clean up the lines on your facial hair the scraggly look screams neckbeard loser I wouldn't clock you regardless unless you were really small and had some feminine mannerisms show through You can never be feminine Ever Welcome to being a guy :DDDDDDD
Eli Gonzalez
If being around other trans people is all it takes to clock some trans people then for a lot of trans people transitioning is entirely pointless. When I started taking testosterone I only did so under the presumption that I'd be able to pass and become *completely* indistinguishable from a cis guy. If you can tell the difference between a cis guy and a trans guy then trans guys are in a different category altogether. I understand that there are some trans men okay with that, and all the power to them, but I don't understand why I was told it's possible to start a new life as a normal person without anyone finding out I'm trans if all it takes to find out is meeting a few trans people.
Does my voice sound fine? Also, I'm literally five ft tall.... so, uh, kinda small. But I've met 10-12 cis men in my life who were my height or shorter. It'd be sad if the first thought after seeing a guy that short is that he's trans. Then that basically means there's nothing I can change besides moving to a super conservative area (currently live in a purple area) where being trans isn't something that'd even cross anyone's mind. But, I'm brown, so.... if being trans doesn't cause issues that might still cause a couple.
Camden Jones
maybe he just said it as a joke or to insult your height
Adrian Collins
>When I started taking testosterone I only did so under the presumption that I'd be able to pass and become *completely* indistinguishable from a cis guy lol, are all pooners like this?
Anyways, just pajeetmax, sir. Do the needful and you will be fine.
Easton Thompson
post a picture standing beside a cis man
Jose Stewart
>Started T at 12 and got bottom surgery once I turned 18 in 2019. Okay I'm calling bullshit.
Samuel Ward
>It'd be sad if the first thought after seeing a guy that short is that he's trans. Voice sounds fine It's not that being small automatically=trans it just makes you sus to someone who runs in these circles Like if I see 6'3 girl I don't assume trans but it makes me curious and I look for other things to confirm The last pooner I clocked was sitting at my bar and I heard some feminine things slip through and his way of talking sounded forced like a teenager trying to sound tough... Made him sus in my eyes and after I saw he was fucking tiny I just assumed trans from that point
But it doesn't fucking matter. I treated him the same as I would any other dude If you're only getting clocked very occasionally by people that know what to look for then stop whining, at least you're not a fucking hon
Aaron Jones
You look better with some hair than bald. I’d say you’re basically indistinguishable from a cis guy. I don’t think it’s uncommon for a brown guy to be short, I know several Asian guys from my school who never grew past 5’2ish. Don’t let one person make you spiral, compare that 1 guy to the thousands of people in the past who haven’t clocked you.
Brody Powell
Also damn hair loss hit you hard, huh?
Dylan Campbell
with your facial hair shaved, hair long and curly, and eyelashes looking like they do, you have a vaguely femme look, maybe that combined with your skeletal frame make you look diminutive enough to be androg/clocky.
No clue if your personality passes though. I noticed pooners are usually much more sensitive about things than cis guys usually. maybe you avoided the boys bathroom/urinal/showers and he noticed idk.
You shouldn't think the only point of transitioning is to live in stealth. the point is to live truer to your inner self. as trans ppl become more common and mainstream people will notice more, that's just life. work towards a world that is more tolerant and validating imo.
Christopher Wright
I realized I don't really have any pictures next to cis men, or next to other people in general, so the best you're gonna get is a picture of me next to my dad in 2016/2017 ish: i.imgur.com/eo1nwAi.jpg
Caleb Brown
It's called diying hrt and then getting legal stuff and surgery started at 9am on your 18th birthday, which was in Jan. 2019.
My parents made me go to conversion therapy multiple times, and when I was in HS and told sexual partners I'm trans, my gf outed me to some guys who ended up raping me, so if I had to choose between living as a trans guy or living as a cis girl I'd just choose cis girl honestly. Being true to yourself doesn't really mean much if you never feel safe.
Cooper Thompson
Being vocally clocked made me realize that there are plenty of people who *can* clock me, just because I don't know who clocked me doesn't mean that every 10th person can clock me but just is nice enough to not say anything to my face.
