I'm an MTF with physical dysphoria and because of that I'm taking HRT. However I feel like "objectively" it's better to be a man in society for various reasons. I don't want to face misogyny, and I don't like having to rely on other people, I want to be independent and strong. This feels harder to do as a woman, even impossible to do to the same extent.
I keep wanting to detransition. Also, if I detransitioned women would be more attracted to me, I think. That would be nice. I could still attract gay men.
WTF do I do? I tried going off of HRT before but I just felt my physical dysphoria get way worse when my testosterone came back. This is hell. What do I do.
I'm an MTF with physical dysphoria and because of that I'm taking HRT...
Jeremiah Ortiz
Sebastian Richardson
pls help
Brody Davis
Do you think it's possible that your views are skewed by the hordes of anons who insist to you that the best part of transition is indeed getting to play the weak helpless role who is coddled and doesnt have high expectations placed on them? Of course there's upsides to it like easier access to emotional support, but seeing that you have a personality similar to mine, yeah it's too inherently offputting and disgusting to be openly vulnerable and treated as the inferior pet. People who transition so that they can do nothing and face less censure for it, are the opposite of us.
That said, what if you took on the role/life of a career woman? You can still provide for yourself financially, and if you want a partner, you can select for a person who treats you as an equal or even as the breadwinner. Physical strength takes a hit on hrt, but is usually not relevant to modern society. Keep something for self-defense on yourself, if it makes you feel better whenever braindead people keep telling you about the dangers of male rapists and murderers. And personality-wise, you dont have to cry a lot or overshare or do anything that's offputtingly vulnerable/weak in your personal opinion.
Luke Flores
>Physical strength takes a hit on hrt, but is usually not relevant to modern society. Keep something for self-defense on yourself
I don't like that though, I wish I could be strong in the body.
Kevin Cox
I'm in your boat (well, your boat with a tiny sprinkle of agp on top of all of that but it doesn't change much) and my plan is to pretty much just do whatever cis women do with this situation
which is, on the "women attracted to me" thing, just be lesbian (or bi in my case)
and in the misogyny and independence thing just, try not to surround myself with dickheads and know when i can get away with being assertive
at least that's what my mom does about misogyny and Independence
Colton Garcia
Relatable and the idea of losing independence is part of why I've been a bit to scared to start HRT yet. Ultimately I'm pretty I'll troon out but for now I comfort for me has been one of humanities greatest inventions.
BEHOLD
Joshua Evans
How tall are you? If you are reasonably tall, you can maintain a healthy bodyweight while lifting, and if you constantly dedicate a few years to it, you'd be stronger than cis men who dont train at all, and most men dont train at all. This is based on what cis women can achieve. Add something like BJJ (a martial art) and you're set. The truth is that the threat of rape/murder is massively overblown, you will likely never face the situation, but I understand wanting to be more confident in your body. Try strengthlevelstandards, I think it's a good site for understanding how a few years of lifting can make you stronger than most people, since most people dont lift.
It's honestly eye-rolling to me why society keeps beating it into women that they are weak and helpless and there's a rapist lurking on every corner. It makes no statistical sense to do it, it just makes them feel like shit. Men killed by men actually outnumber women killed by men.
Eli Bell
npr.org
I'm about 6 feet tall. I'll consider your suggestions, but it does feel like working out too much will only make me appear manlier.
Nathan Green
>marine study
yeah :(
Just a reality that has to be faced, men will always generally be stronger, and even if you as a transwoman could become much more fit and healthy than the average woman, we're disadvantaged in that it makes passing harder and the social perception that if transwomen aren't super fem then it invalidates the transness. Just fucked all round. Nevertheless, everyone dies to a bullet.
Michael Hernandez
i'm a very independent person too and i also don't like asking for help and way prefer to do favors for other people, having people do things for me makes me feel uncomfortable.
that doesn't matter a ton, though, losing a bit of strength isn't going to make you really that reliant on others except maybe sometimes to move around heavy stuff, and there are plenty of cis women who feel the same way and like to do things themselves, and they do do things themselves
and yeah, if you're scared of someone attacking you, there's knives and pepper spray and pistols. i was never really super strong but i keep a weapon on me just in case
Liam Baker
>that doesn't matter a ton, though, losing a bit of strength isn't going to make you really that reliant on others except maybe sometimes to move around heavy stuff
user, I've literally had to get my little brother to open jars and milk gallons for me. It's getting bad
Oliver Rogers
I used to open those jars and gallons by carrying a jar opener with me, until I lifted to get strong enough to open them with bare hands. I understand the concerns about appearing manlier though, the lucky ones still do put on muscle in a feminized distribition similar to cis women, but I have heard a few MtFs report that any of their muscle gain still distributes in a masculine way
Austin Diaz
Yeah I feel I cannot risk that. So the only way to become strong and confident in my body in terms of my physical ability would be to detransition or at least accept a male gender identity. I don't know.
Robert Davis
see, the problem is that you're crazy, and we know this because you're mtf, and mtfs are crazy (can confirm, am mtf am crazy)
so basically, you're just insane and should stop thinking as much
Parker Hall
That's not helpful at all, if anything, you've just made me feel like you're sexist towards me.
Ayden Martinez
You can choose a workout plan with a lower body and core focus and pick up something like Taekwondo, while avoiding a masculine build. Plus strong glutes will do you wonders.
Nicholas Foster
> I don't want to face misogyny, and I don't like having to rely on other people, I want to be independent and strong. This feels harder to do as a woman, even impossible to do to the same extent.
b-worms
Samuel Lewis
Okay. I'm willing to hear you out. Sometimes I need someone to walk me through why my brainworms are wrong. I feel like a woman trying to be strong and independent won't be as respected in society as a man doing that, and that makes me somewhat insecure about going down that path. Why am I wrong?
Bentley Long
you want helpful advice? leave Any Forums go find a psychiatrist who actually knows how to deal with issues like this instead of asking random tranners here since none of us know what we're talking about
Joseph Martin
I can't afford that
Eli Lopez
Many places provide free therapy depending in what contry you are
Brayden Rogers
*shrug*
Eli Hall
United States south