Idk if I'm lucky or not. I had a head injury and lost a couple years of memory and spent a few days in a coma. I remember starting HRT but I was closeted and a teen at the time and everything past that is kind of fuzzy. My boyfriend (which I've learned I have two days ago) has been walking me through what I've forgotten. I'm 3 years in now, post SRS and name/gender markers fully updated.
I'm a little uncomfortable that I live with this guy I don't know though. He's been sleeping on the couch and letting me have the bed. He sometimes holds or touches me very affectionately out of nowhere, but stops when its clear he's startled me.
I've got a lot of confusion and there's a lot of therapy going on. My family hasn't come to check on me, so I guess they didn't take my transition well which is what I expected.
sounds like you should find reasonable people to talk about this with, not /tttt/
Adam Hall
All the friends that have been talking to me are people I didn't know before, and I don't remember them now. They're strangers to me, and it'd be weird talking to them about issues that involve them.
I'm just hoping for people to bounce the ideas of who won't judge me for not remembering them. The boyfriend guy has been super depressed and I feel guilty about it, but he's like a stranger to me and I'm afraid to get too involved so soon.
Lucas Brooks
yeah i was thinking a professional therapist with experience with retrograde amnesia
broad strokes, yeah you have to figure out if you want to try and reconstruct the years you lost, or take it as some kind of cutoff and build a new life
both are gonna be hard. the former carries the risk of your bf eventually deciding that he cant deal with you not being who he was with before, and the latter is literally building a whole new life
unfortunately there isn't really a middle ground due to how relationships work
Isaiah Wright
I'm already seeing a therapist, but it's hard to vent everything without some anonymity. I've been sizing up my situation, for the most part. I don't dislike the boyfriend guy, but I just don't know him and it looks like we were living together for a couple years.
I didn't really work, I just sold crafts on Etsy for the sound of things and he was making us money. I have a degree, but getting independent will be difficult with the employment gaps and need for income.
Since getting independent seems difficult, I figured I'd try getting to know the bf guy better, but it's hard. I keep suggesting we go out to my old favorite hang outs, but they all got closed because of that disease thing going on.
So I asked if we could drink together on the couch, but he said he was worried about me drinking in my condition. So we've just been awkwardly sitting across from each other when we're both in the living room for the most part.
He knows all my favorite foods so he's been ordering some good stuff at least. I feel bad that I don't know anything about him, and he seems sad that he has to keep reminding me.
Bentley Nguyen
I'm too sober for this shit it's fucking heartbreaking
Jace Rodriguez
do you believe everything you read on the internet like a fucking retard?
Kevin Nelson
>that disease thing going on fucking kek
desu if you didnt get a medical advisory to not drug i'd tell the bf guy that you definitely deserve a drink
if you wanna go experimental diy schizo you got also pop some shrooms or acid and meditate and see if anything comes back
in any case, sitting around on the couch in silence isnt going to help you build a relationship, and the bf guy seems a bit overprotective too, it seems like he hasnt fully internalized that it's all gone for you and that he probably won't get his previous gf back
it definitely sounds like a very difficult situation, for everyone involved and i hope you can figure something out
lots of clear communication is key here, couples therapy could be an idea but i a couples therapist that also deals with retrograde amnesia is likely to be rare and expensive
Christopher Brooks
There's a medical advisory not to drink because of some of the other medications the doctor gave. It's probably for the best I listen to him, but this is a really stressful situation and I'd just like something to let me unwind. >if you wanna go experimental diy schizo you got also pop some shrooms or acid and meditate and see if anything comes back I don't know where I'd even start on getting any of that stuff, and I'd be a little spooked about trying it. >in any case, sitting around on the couch in silence isnt going to help you build a relationship He's been drinking a bit at least. He hasn't let me see him doing it, but I can smell it on him and tell by the slur in his voice. I feel like it's my fault he's so depressed, but I can't summon back the memories he wants me to have. I would like to help him feel better but idk what I can do. Same. He hasn't really let me out of his sight much because I'm having a little mobility trouble. I don't want him to see me cry since he seems to be going through some serious heartbreak, so I've been doing my best to hold it in for times when I'm alone.
Julian Gray
>I'd just like something to let me unwind if you're in a legal state check with your doc about weed
>he's been drinking in secret, i've been crying in secret there is the fucking problem, with both of you you cant hide this shit, because that's all that your relationship actually is right now - it's a guy who has lost a gf and has to live with someone who's essentially a completely different person that looks the same, and you're living with - and dependent on - a complete stranger
you both have to acknowledge that and find a way to deal with it if you want to move forward in any way, and crying or drinking in secret is not how it works
Kevin Harris
I'm worried about burdening this guy by unloading my emotions in front of him. He's already going through a lot, but I get what you're saying. It's also hard to be open with someone who's a stranger to me. My interests were also pretty different by the time we started dating apparently. He doesn't know that I like gaming because I spent most of my time reading. He showed me my kindle (which was a birthday gift he says) but he doesn't know my password and I don't know it either since it's not one of my usual ones. >if you're in a legal state check with your doc about weed I looked it up and it's medically legal here. So I'll ask if we can go see the doctor about it. Hopefully this guy doesn't think I'm just some stoner.
Gavin Roberts
yeah that's just waffling and delaying you both have to confront this, and that demands honesty and candor on both parts
otherwise, as i said, you might as well just leave now also, i repeat, couples therapy or at least counseling
Dylan Young
Don't take this man's gf away from him OP. Tell him you still love him even if you don't remember. Cuddle him and let him touch you.
Give it time and you'll get used to him again if you keep yourself open.
Wyatt Wood
>I had a head injury and lost a couple years of memory Honestly I dream about this happening to me. Can I somehow injure my brain to lose my memories? I can't fucking stand being myself, and the only way to change myself on the level I want to is to lose my memories
Jonathan Campbell
Did you have a journal or something that you could see how your thoughts were/life events were from your perspective?
Carter Powell
Not that I know of course, and the bf guy doesn't know either. I feel bad for saying this, but it feels lucky in some ways. I got to "skip over" the hard parts of my transition it feels like. But now I'm just in a situation that's confusing, stuck dependent on a guy I don't know. I'm not trying to hurt the guy or anything but this is a lot to take in all at once and I don't know this guy so it's hard to just act like he's my bf. Took your advice and tried talking to him. I don't know if it really went anywhere meaningful. I apologized if I seemed distant, told him I didn't want to be a burden and had been trying not to bother him too much with that in mind. I told him I was really scared of how much has (for me) changed very suddenly, my head hurts a lot, and the medicine is keeping me in a sort of haze. He hugged me and told me he's got me if anything's wrong. I felt weird being hugged but tried to hug him back to give him a little comfort. I asked if we could watch something, so he's putting on this star wars show he found about yoda as a baby in a bit after he finishes his work shift. I asked if he's taking time off for me but apparently he gets to work from home because of the pandemic stuff going on.
Christopher Edwards
How did you get your injury?
Jack Butler
I'm not one for misogyny OP, so please don't take this the wrong way.
You are in a situation that you should defer to this man as much as possible. The "you" that handled your life up to the point of your injury trusted him enough to live with him.
Trusting this man is effectively trusting your own judgement. Do not try to handle things yourself. Do not hide shit from him. Do not fall into malebrained strongk self sufficient ideas.
You are by how you see it very suddenly fully feminized and thrown into a situation you don't understand. He's your anchor. Its OK to rely on him, you should not feel ashamed of being a burden. He would not be here if he didn't want to take care of you.
Jeremiah Jackson
They said a car accident. I was riding with a friend. She hit something and went off the road. I got thrown out of the car because I wasn't buckled in or the seat belt didn't hold right, idk. My head went through the windshield though, I was told that I was lucky it wasn't worse. I just feel guilty relying on him when he's doing this out of love, and I can't reciprocate those feelings because I don't know or remember him. He says this Star Wars show was one of my favorites because of the yoda baby. He's been staring at me sometimes, and a few times while we've been watching the show. I'm not really sure if I should be saying or doing something, and it's really uncomfortable.
