Back in July I realized it isn't fucking normal to only be able to be aroused by sexual fantasies where I'm a woman being wooed by a handsome man, and that the only appeal of chasing women in IRL dating was the idea of living vicariously through her. It's one of those things I never stopped and thought about, but I realize it's not normal.
I've been trying to come to grips with the implications here, what it could mean, and if it means I'm trans how fucked I am considering I turn 25 in a few months. Especially considering my body proportions; I'm built like a Celtic warrior and my ribcage goes beyond being a fridge bod to being an outright dorito shape; it's 40 inches around whereas my hips are only 39 inches. Quite damning.
Ever since I learned the brow ridge was a gendered facial treat I haven't been able to stop looking at myself in the mirror while covering my brow ridge. For some reason seeing myself without a visible brow ridge, which in my case is a significant masculinizing factor to the point my face looks downright androgynous without it, is enough to nearly bring me tears of joy, like I'd genuinely be overjoyed with my appearance if I looked more feminine.
I don't know what to make of any of this. My ribcage is big enough that I'm gonna have an awful case of tranny tits if I transition, and if I do I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for waiting this long (for fuck's sake, my dad is friends with Julia Serano so if I figured this out as a kid I probably would've been able to transition then), I feel like an idiot even considering this but it's been dominating my thoughts for the last six months to the point I lost my job due to being unable to focus on actual work.
My bf isn't trans but when we do sex stuff he likes to dress up like a girl and we pretend he is. It's a lot of fun. Maybe you would like that too.
Brayden Taylor
I can relate a lot to OP personally I wouldnt want that, I just dont want to be a man anymore
Oliver Barnes
Your "bf" is going to have a tearful conversation with you soon.
Jordan Morris
I know what I said doesn't apply to everyone, I was just telling OP that having fantasies about being a girl and being courted by a man don't necessarily indicate they are trans. I was just saying you can be a faggot who likes to crossdress and still get it done.
The topic has come up a few times over the years. He insists he isn't trans and I told him "ok I don't care either way, I like girls too" every time. He just likes to wear cute panties and dresses. I'm bi and I wouldn't care as long as it doesn't involve srs.
Blake Butler
The issue is these fantasies I have always involve me having a vagina that I get penetrated in as well as feminine curves. Crossdressing really wouldn't relieve those.
Kayden King
I don't think it's necessarily over just cause of some measurements, OP, if you don't like your torso shape you can dress around that. Browbone can be reduced quite a bit with FFS. And yeah 25 is late, but do you really just want to live the rest of your life repressing? Especially when your dysphoria is preventing you from holding a job?
Angel Collins
Yeah I get it if cross dressing isn't the right solution for everybody. When I pretend with my bf we just pretend his ass is a pussy. He isn't super thicc but has a few extra lb so there is a decent amount of ass and tit to grab. I understand that for some dysphoric people that kind of arrangement is not enough and it's more about how they see themselves rather than how other people do.
Josiah Reyes
I'm 27, I feel like I waited my entire life for my life to begin, I never thought I had an opportunity to address this, I guess maybe I could have but it just never happened because it's not meant to be for me, for some reason
Sebastian Collins
>I feel like I waited my entire life for my life to begin And what? You're just gonna keep waiting? It's a difficult decision that no one else can make for you. I started transition in my early mid twenties and it was an excruciating decision to make, partially driven by desperation, but I still did it anyway because I knew it was a prerequisite for me ever being able to feel any genuine happiness in life, and I have zero regrets despite the fact that I still don't pass, because I know that the alternative would have been so much worse. What's your plan B here? Keep repping? Do you feel that that is sustainable?
Asher Price
OP here. The main thing I'm concerned about is breast growth; when it comes to everything else, even if I don't pass I'll look more feminine and have plausible deniability about my appearance, but breast growth basically ensures I can never go swimming again, can't wear tight shirts again (which is a big deal since I have big shoulders and loose shirts make me look fat), assuming they grow far apart it'll look all weird and deformed. Just feels like a big, permanent change to my body I'm not sure I want.
Isaiah King
Is swimming that important to you? I've always thought it was an annoying way to work out. Dirty, smelly, and a pain in the ass.
Jack Richardson
You can always wear a binder, provided you're not concerned with permanently stunting your breast development. If the major dealbreaker for you is growing breasts then you can always do what hrt femboys do and take raloxifene. I mean Tbh user if the boobs are your one real hangup you should definitely just get on hrt cause there are tons of different ways you can go about dealing with that
Eli Sullivan
Yes I will rep if i could troon succesfully i would have done so 5 years ago at least
Robert Nguyen
k then, go ahead and throw away your shot at happiness just keep in mind that, at this moment, you are consciously deciding to do so, knowing that you are dysphoric and have the ability to do something about it
Anthony Reyes
Just work out obsessively and self insert when you have a sexual encounter with a woman, it's what every other guy on earth has done since the dawn of mankind. Don't let the hons try to pinkpill you. You can just rep forever or as we say when we're around women, literally nothing. Don't breathe a word of this to women,
Levi Rogers
Just accept that you're trans already. Like look at you you're just coming up with dumb bullshit as to why you can't do it even though the fact is none of that will stop being true in 5,10,15 years. The faster you accept it the faster you can get going. Before a couple years ago transitioning at 25 was seen as 18 is today. If you're really that scared of breasts (and are you actually or are you just too scared of ending up where you can't hide your true self from other ppl anymore?) and it really turns out you hate them and never want to have them you can just get gyno surgery like a bunch of men did and have a completely flat chest again.
Jace Rodriguez
Oh also make sure to only date women who don't ask you "WHERE ARE YOU user COME BACK TO ME" as you're trying to nut imagining yourself as her
God I hate women
Thomas Ramirez
>If you're really that scared of breasts (and are you actually or are you just too scared of ending up where you can't hide your true self from other ppl anymore?) It's more that breast growth is irreversible and I'm worried that means my body is ruined if I change my mind. Also, my large ribcage means they're gonna be spaced out and pointing in different directions and all that, I worry I'm gonna turn into a caricature.
Eli King
ok? I just explained how you can get rid of them if you really truly decide you hate them. So what's your plan here?
Lincoln Wood
I have known that for years, Idk what's wrong with me I asked my tranny friend if I should take HRT like 5 years ago and they didnt think so, whatever
Cooper Walker
I guess you're right. I'll look into things like ralox and such. I had previously experimented with HRT a little bit and had a severe allergic reaction to spironolactone, should I try to get ahold of bica or just go straight for injections?
