I'm a straight tranner. My 5 year anniversary was not even a month ago, and now it's over.
Again the same reason as all the others. He wants to bear a child with a cis woman. Does he want to follow up on my sister donating an egg? No, now that it's something I asked her and she's contemplating, it's off the table. Surrogacy/fertilization with a donor egg is over $100k (not impossible, but damn). He's incapable of voicing his own thoughts sometimes. After 2 days of constant fighting I have to guide him like a therapist through what he's trying to express to me...
Well, almost exactly one year ago he saw his dreams. His subconscious yearns for children, borne from a pretty, anonymous-faced cis woman. I had to work it out of him. "What do you want?".. "Both" he says.
I ask explicitly which comes first: The thought of this anonymous woman being the mother, or me. Finally he admits it, I'm the afterthought. I'm the thought he has out of guilt. I'm not his subconscious desire or dream. I am his guilt and his pain.
I only wish that it had lasted 2 months instead of 5 years. All the other men I've been with are able to reach that conclusion very early. Fine. They realize they want children with her genetics. Fine. At least they never led me on. They didn't waste five years of my 20s. They knew what they wanted.
I did. 7, actually. I've had the same exact experiences as OP. Guys who think they're okay with a tranny gf, who deal with their own ticking clock. Except it's more delayed and less intense than for cis women, who obviously have a very short window at a specific point. I'm almost 40 now, and I think the only hope will be if I happen upon an open minded single father.
Andrew James
OP here
I think it's rather you help these men during their low-point. They get better, you build them up, and they grow. And then they're better, ready to fuck a cis woman! :)
I guess the only option is to lock it down with a demented freak of a man who is perma-broken. Great.
Parker Edwards
Absolutely. All the guys I was ever with are doing better than when I met them. You invest yourself, encourage them to pursue their dreams. They finally make something of themselves. And what's the reward for that? Happily ever after? No, no it's not that. It's a cold goodbye.
Andrew Sanchez
>tfw this is most likely my future what can we even do?
Clearly, you should collaborate with your sister to avoid the surrogacy&fertilization costs. It'll be a nice bonding experience.
Sebastian Gutierrez
date older men who are based you fucking idiot trannies
>imagine dating someone and not finding out within the first year if they're sketch or not
Nolan Powell
cishet men: not even once
Liam Rivera
Me and my trans ex are both antinatalists, cringe as that might be
Jackson Lee
>date older men I tried. Gen-X guys are NOT into trannies.
Joseph Kelly
As a cissy who can't have kids, fuck this guy honestly. Whether you want kids, don't want kids, or have some other relationship incompatibility that's bound to crop up, you can't call yourself an adult if you aren't able to get it out in the open and discuss it without someone hand-holding you to the point.
user, I hope there were some good times, and I'm sorry for the bad. You'll be better off without him, and you will find someone who can appreciate you down the line. Don't let the doompillers here get you down -- it does get better, and you will move past this. Most people are shit, but there's damn-near nine billion of us these days, so those are still pretty good odds of finding someone who isn't a bastard. Treat yourself with kindness until then, yeah?
Oliver Cox
Then date an older millenial. They're in the 30-40 range now.
Wyatt Peterson
wut that's what i'm in at this moment
Carson Harris
Positive vibes! Looking up! Digits checked, and I think my odds are nice. Still have zero hope cuz you know this has happened so many times. haha.
OP, have you ever thought about finding a FtM partner and getting them pregnant? I think there's value in them wanting to build a family with you. Assuming you still have your pp, perhaps you can find someone willing to compromise and have a kid from each. Some people want kids, that can't be helped. It's a shame that it took long for that guy to figure it out, but I don't feel malice from your story.
Easton Mitchell
I cannot love anyone but cis men. I honestly think I wish I was a transbian now
Christopher Johnson
embrace hypergamy followed by forest witch hermeticism
>After 2 days of constant fighting I have to guide him like a therapist through what he's trying to express to me... >I only wish that it had lasted 2 months instead of 5 years. All the other men I've been with are able to reach that conclusion very early. Fine. They realize they want children with her genetics. Fine. At least they never led me on. They didn't waste five years of my 20s. They knew what they wanted. Is this the first time that he's like this? If it's not and he always was emotionally immature maybe you spent too much time with someone just because they were a doormat
Alexander Mitchell
Honestly, even if your goal is to find someone in the end, I've learned that there is importance in finding a way to be comfortable in our own company. You'll find the right person when the time comes -- until then, try to build a life for yourself that's fulfilling in other ways. Things are especially hard right now with everything going on, but there's still contentment in life to be found, I think.
Even if right now, it feels like shit, I want you to know that this isn't about a shortcoming with you or somethin you did wrong, and it never really was. This is a thing he's gonna have to work through, and live with, on his own terms. You're fine just the way you are, user- imperfections are what make us human. I know it's the board culture to be a doompiller and drag everyone ruthlessly so that no one develops a shred of hope or self-esteem, but I'd rather be honest, and my honesty is that you will come back from this better and stronger. Life goes on, and so too shall you.
Nicholas King
hm you know maybe he was the best guy I dated so I made it last 5 years. Doormat? No. He just lacks communication skills from a lifetime of abusive parenting. The true depth of his history with that only came out after the 3 year mark, so I will own up to that. For some/many they might just escape at that point, but I cared deeply for him and stayed. I'm happy to say that after 2 yrs, everything is a lot better and he is well on his way to being healed.. Guess that's why he's ready to go!
Jack Butler
That's weapons grade copium. Like huffing bubblegum flavored oxygen at an oxygen bar full of rich white people with dreadlocks. But you know what? I'll take it.
