I hate being a cis het male so much

i hate being a cis het male so much
i just wish i were agp or trans.

why couldn't i just have been born a woman, or even just a male who knew he wanted to be a woman.
i hate this. i fucking hate how whenever i get horny my stupid brain forces me to think about fantasies of using my dick or fucking women. i fucking hate this disgusting nature of mine it's barbaric
literally i'm not even trans but i really fucking want to kill myself over being male

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you don’t

>i really fucking want to kill myself over being male
Why? Is it just guilt?

There's nothing stopping you from chemically castrating yourself and being enby or whatev

i have fake dysphoria and fake agp feelings that only showed up in my 20s. it's obvious that these feelings aren't real but somehow they feel more intense than most other things i have ever felt

it just feels bad. like i'm not going to transition or any of that stuff, and i know that if i tried i'd fuck it up and do such a poor job at it that it wouldn't end well anyways
i'm just stuck as a male and as much as i talk about this stuff i'm never going to actually put in the effort to try and transition so why do i care

fear of throwing away my life is stopping me. i'd have to be ready to kill myself if it doesn't work out if i want to transition. even then since i have no hope of passing the best i can do is hrt and get ffs and manmode for life

>i have fake dysphoria and fake agp feelings
Seems like major brainworms desu.
>it's obvious that these feelings aren't real
Well, AGP itself is poorly understood. Your dysphoria seems legitimate though, unless you are simultaneously claiming to wish you weren't born male and also that you're fine with it

You're just trans jesus. Your feelings are real. You aren't making this up. You are a real person with real feelings and you shouldn't barr yourself from accepting your own emotions.

not all trans people show signs during childhood or in their teens

>you are simultaneously claiming to wish you weren't born male and also that you're fine with it
i don't seem to care enough to do anything about it. and i literally was not dysphoric earlier
idk tonight's just fucking dumb
it seems kinda weird that i didn't. even now it doesn't feel that real

>i don't seem to care enough to do anything about it. and i literally was not dysphoric earlier
Your dysphoria is obviously real. Simply not acting on it or not recognizing it early means very little

>i wish i were trans
user...
lol

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>The “I wish I were trans so I could transition” stage

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Autism.

>why couldn't i just have been born a woman
>i hate being a cis het male so much

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You are not alone user, you are not alone...

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it literally did not exist until my early to mid 20s.

yes i am emotionally stunted. i never even bought my own clothes before in my life to this day

all the real late transitioners actually felt this way for ages and stuff
i'm just some dude who hates himself and these feelings literally didn't exist and still barely do
i'm closer to schizophrenic than dysphoric

doesn't matter since passing is impossible for me anyways

Is there a reason you can't have become/discovered real transness at 20?

Being trans is literally the feelings you are describing. Is there literally any difference in the way you feel just because you started feeling it later? The answer is no. What is the difference between you and a trans person? You felt it later on... anything else? No?

>it literally did not exist until my early to mid 20s
Have you been miserable or depressed most of your life without really ever knowing why?

Not him, but I do know why, it's because my brain has a dedicated mental process for finding reasons to hate myself and constantly remind me of those things.

Literally I didn't ask you

>Is there a reason you can't have become/discovered real transness at 20?
it seems artificial if it does
> What is the difference between you and a trans person?
it doesn't feel that bad for me. i still have natural instincts to be a man that feel more like my actual real nature that i still hate
it feels like just another obsession or something that could have been easily replaced with something else.
it's a consequence of me being online all the time now instead of anything else
it's all fake feelings that probably result from other issues
i don't know? nowadays i know why i'm miserable but back then i don't think i really cared about anything

>Not him
>Literally I didn't ask you

Yes. That's what I said. Why are you repeating me?

>i don't know? nowadays i know why i'm miserable but back then i don't think i really cared about anything
Yeah depersonalization is something that goes with gender dysphoria
Go see a gender therapist or a psychiatrist, either they'll say you have dysphoria or help you find whatever other mental health issue you may have
But to me it sounds like you've repressed so hard and for so long that you don't even know who "you" are, and are scared of showing your true self

Stop describing me, I didn't give you permission to make a whole thread about me and my feelings.