>thread got deleted by evil jannies, and i got a warning telling me not to hurt myself
does hrt really help? like i mean, really really help?
tranny thoughts are only like maybe 20% of my negative emotions but like so many people talk about hrt just fucking flipping their emotions around
but also i don't want to get tricked by lying pinkpillers and end up wasting my time
Thread got deleted by evil jannies, and i got a warning telling me not to hurt myself
Ayden Gonzalez
Brandon Lewis
also, btw jannies lifeline australia fucking sucks i don't want their number
Carter Brown
Don't talk to internet weirdos about this shit, we can give you basic info but nobody here is equipped to deal with another person's mind
If you can, go see a therapist
>tfw my suicide posts are still up
kek
Jason Moore
i hate therapists, i've been to like five and they all just fucking sucked
also, lucky ass, i was actually kinda excited when i woke up to get to respond to people in my thread, but THEY KILLED IT
Gavin Peterson
Alright then go a tranny therapist, a specialised one
They'll be able to give you an answer
I know it sucks but it's the best way to dig through your mind when you're unable to navigate that shit yourself
jannies are very inconsistent but yeah this is always pretty insulting
Carter Turner
i feel like i might be self-justifying with excuses, but the waiting lists for that stuff are just insane, i'd be waiting like months, just for like probably an introductory session, then i'd probably be doing like a month of sessions for them to like get an understanding of me. and that's assuming i can even afford tranny therapy
and it's just so tiring, and if i did all that and was still let down like i worry i might be, then that sounds like literal hell for me
all the waiting and uncertainty for like months for something i already distrust and hate, when i already want to be dead right now
i just don't know, idk
i'm sorry
Nathaniel Johnson
Don't be sorry, I get it
The waiting lists are fucked and it's anything but perfect, and a lot of psychologists kinda suck yeah lol but this is something you really need to figure out
Also depending on where you are it can also help with getting started on hrt if it comes to that
You can figure that out by yourself too maybe, maybe even with some guidance from here, but look more at other people's stories and similarities instead of letting people talk you in to things (like I'm doing kek)
The question is if you want to keep trying
Sebastian Richardson
sorry for replying late, i was just making food for myself
and like, i just worry about doing what i want, because if i did what i really wanted i wouldn't be eating and probably wouldn't be alive, tho desu i'm probably too much of a pussy to do it anyways
guidance is partially why i posted here, as well as just it being fun, but meh, and like i read peoples stories but just idk
i'm so out of my mind rn, i'm sorry i'm being retarded, i just need to think for a second
Cooper Ross
jannies are stupid cunts, this board was what finally radicalised me
Lincoln Peterson
also so true, all hotlines are trash and are understaffed, underfunded, and generally shit. its probably better to talk with some random retards on omegle
Anthony Wilson
what thread? anyone have the archive?
Jace Johnson
Carson Turner
that was not my thread, no
in my thread the op was about how i intend to kill myself on february first
honestly yeah, it's so fucking horrible
i wish people would stop spamming phone numbers as if it means anything
Noah Flores
ohhh, yeah I remember that but I can't find it now :/
Lincoln Morales
oh, here archive.wakarimasen.moe
loved the image edits lol
Evan Lopez
here it is :)
archive.wakarimasen.moe
also to answer your questions i have tried therapy and it made me feel even worse, and the idea of medication to control my brain freaks me out
and honestly idk how i'm going to do it, probably just eat every single pill i own plus alcohol to see if any of them od me
and if that doesn't work, idk
oh you found it, lol
also ty, it was fun
honestly i have chilled out a little bit from making that thread, but that's just cause it's midday
that thread is probably more representative of my average mood
Ryder Flores
have you tried ketamine?
Isaac Phillips
i have never tried ketamine, lol
idk how to buy drugs, i've only tried lots of alcohol and painkillers my friend gave me when he broke both his legs and his spine
Luis Fisher
Yes, it helps. Yes, it works. No, it won't do all of the work for you. Act feminine, dress feminine, don't say it doesn't work if you refuse to leave boymode.
Jack Morris
do you know from like personal experience?
did it help with non-gender related emotions?
Aiden Bennett
even if hotlines are well intentioned it feels like just a way for normies to pass the buck to a dead end and feel good about "doing something"
if you have no friends at all to ask (somebody knows someone 99%) you can buy drugs from .onion sites, its not that hard these days. probably not ketamine but maybe even inhousepharmacy has some shit you could get high from
Jeremiah Thompson
that's exactly how i feel about hotlines, but you've said it very succinctly, thank you
also yes all my friends hate me now, and .onion sites are sus because like fed traps and stuff
idk
Isaiah Rivera
OP please don't kill yourself
Adam Miller
i'm still on the fence, i feel kinda better rn
but i'll feel worse soon
Austin Edwards
Why wait? Why not do it now, if you're gonna do it?
Daniel Cook
why not wait?
it's MY suicide and i feel like waiting
Adam Richardson
jannies are pedophiles so do not trust them they are deleting the best threads to kill the board
Anthony Hughes
so true, user!!
you're so observent
Mason Wilson
>so many people talk about hrt just fucking flipping their emotions around
Worked for me. I was depressed for over 10 years and it's like that just switched off when I started hrt.
I never really thought it was related to being trans and didn't really buy the whole "wrong hormones" thing but idk how else to explain it now
I think maybe it really does just negatively affect your mind state