So I've been watching anime for years but never really touched NGE even though I knew it had big cultural impact and...

So I've been watching anime for years but never really touched NGE even though I knew it had big cultural impact and shit, but now my mother wants to watch it with me. I know there's like 3(?) different versions but I have no clue which is the best one to watch with my middle-aged mother who doesn't know very much about anime. Which of the NGE series is best in your opinion? Which one has the least weird sex stuff? I know I'll have to get through the coma masturbation scene but that's a cross I'm willing to bear, but other than that I'd like to keep it minimal.

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Just tell her to pick one so it’s on her.

But I want to make sure the experience is actually enjoyable, if we accidentally watch the shit one that'd be lame

Okay, what exactly are your options?

There’s only one series user. The original show and the sequel movie

Well as far as I understand it, there's the first series, then the alternate ending(????) then the End of Evangelion which is a movie encompassing the last two episodes but different? But there's also the directors cut episodes. Then, there's the rebuild movies which are a completely different thing?

Yeah, I don’t know what the difference between the alternate endings and EoE are, and I’m not sure what’s in the director's cut either. Rebuild starts as an adaptation, then shifts into a new story build on top of the original. And it’s very divisive.
I just thought you meant whether to watch it subbed or to pick between the original and netflix dubs.

Oh I'm not watching it dubbed at the least, I'm just trying to wrap my head around how to watch the series, since yeah the movies seem like they're doing a whole different thing.

the tv end is a highly abstract ending that focuses on resolving the character arcs and ends on an optimistic not
Death & Rebirth is a recap with extra scenes plus the first act of the EoE movie
EoE is a less abstract ending focusing more on resolving the story arcs about why the angels and SEELE and Evas exist
Rebuild is a sequel+retrospective+reboot story that also acts as a metacommentary on the whole multimedia franchise its become that will potentially be around forever

Well, as somebody who also hasn’t actually watched it completely, I have no idea, but I think it’s fair to say the Rebuild movies will be harder to understand without context from the actual show.
I also know there was a compilation movie before End for some reason, but I don’t know what’s different about it, or if it’s even available, or worth the effort of finding if it turns out to be difficult to get.
So all I can say is, the Rebuild movies aren’t what you’re looking for, and you should try to do your own research regarding the different versions of the actual show. Also, I think it’s fine to watch both the actual last two episodes and End of Evangelion since apparently they’re both canon. It’s confusing. But the show episodes don’t have the jacking off, I’m pretty sure that’s only in the End.
And the guy who posted while I was typing this up probably has a better understanding of your actual question than I do.

Just watch Martian Successor Nadesico instead.

The original series (preferably Director's Cut) + End of Evangelion is all you need. The final 2 episodes of Eva are pretty controversial and End of Evangelion serves as the alternate, more traditional ending. People think that End of Eva is meant to be Anno's revenge against people who complained about the original ending when in reality it's much more in line with what they had originally planned but couldn't finish due to budget and schedule issues the show was wracked with.
>Which one has the least weird sex stuff?
It's a show that's told through the perspective of an insecure 14 year old boy, it comes with the territory. It isn't fanservicey, if that's what you're thinking.

Alright cool thanks, I think I get it now

>TV series
final two episodes are a highly abstract ending
>End of Evangelion
single movie that provides an ending that either replaces or complements the tv series ending depending on who you ask
>Rebuild of Evangelion
series of 4 movies that look like a reboot but are actually a sequel series.
That's it.

watch you can (not) advance

og + the end

i'm not really sure

> D&R+End was not a “sequel+retrospective+reboot story that also acts as a metacommentary”
Imagine bring oblivious for 25 years.

Can your mother appreciate good media? Watch the original series + EoE.
Does she just want to watch a cartoon with her son? Watch the Rebuild movie series

>but now my mother wants to watch it with me
what prompted this, does she normally watch anime?

It's super easy. Watch the original television show 1-26. Then watch the film "End of Evangelion" then stop. Only watch the Japanese, if you only watch dubs, just skip Evangelion because we don't need another dubshitter in the Eva threads.