ITT: We discuss the Bible as if it were an anime

>OH

>MY LONG HAIR
>MY ROUND STONES
>MY BIG BOAT
>MY WRESTLING TECHNIQUES
>MY TWO DAUGHTERS
>MY DIVINE HERITAGE
>MY VIRGINITY

Gnosticism is the deconstruction of the Bible. Take the Monadpill and become a Gnostichad.

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No it ain't
That moment was what defined the series as unique to every attempts at showing divinity

Only through the Lords path can one live forever and forever he lived indeed in the Lords throne waiting for us

Death in vision

What the fuck was that big dude with seven crowns? The CGI was fucking horrible

>Anyone can get God's Greatest Gift by accepting Jesus into their heart
Like the perfect mesh of bullshit power creep AND the power of friendship.
Who writes this shit?

Real talk
Theologians have 0 idea who even wrote that
At first, they thought it was John the Baptist but they started having doubts.

7 continents, you nimwit
Ruler of all 7 continents

Written 1000 years before the age of sails

I can't believe people eating up this atrocious translation done by people that don't even know the language and keep inserting their own meme shit in.

Is this spin off any good? Heard there’s a lot of retcons.

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Sorry to intrude but:
is Saint Young Men worth watching?
I know the manga is good, heard the OVAs are disappointing.
Wondering if the film is good.

>Some retard's concubine gets brutally raped and murdered by the Benjamin tribe
>The whore gets cut into 11 pieces and sent into every other tribe in Israel
>Other tribes get pissed and go to war with them, leaving them with 600 Benjamin men only, and vowing not to marry any of their tribe's women so they cannot reproduce
>For some reason they regretted it and made it legal to rape women for one day a year so the tribe won't go extinct
Absolute retardation. They had to return to the god darn status quo because they are afraid to go out on a limb. Still a million times better than the "new testament" remake.

>2022
>Still using King James subs
ISHYGDDT

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OVA is completely faithful to the source though.

Dunno, but the MC was fucking an 8 year old so people might be into that.

>John the Baptist
You mean John the Apostle, and there were doubts about it even back then, before the Church Fathers in the 4th century more or less decided to endorse it as Apostolic anyway. Anyway, most scholars now take its claim to be written by a dude named John at face value, they just doubt said John was the Apostle. There were a gorillion Johns back then, after all.

My christian mom found it funny

>retards think Jesus fucked Mary Magdalene
Fucking shipperwhales

Remember that pacifist interpretation is a lie
Jesus promotes righteous fury

Carry a gun

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Gnosticism is soft seinen.

The King James dub is pretty sovlful, even if it's inaccurate and makes shit up.

is that the lolicon doujin?

Fucking Johns man. Ruining everything.
Cope and seethe. Jesus was a footfag too.

translation commentary is probably the best take this thread could have.
jesus, imagine trying to watch an anime that was a dumbed down translation of a translation of a translation (etc) over the course of thousands of years in a multi-millennia telephone game that butchers the source material.
and then basing your life on the end result.

Fanfiction and headcanon

Isnt yesshuah the literaly John nowadays, and Jesus is just localized into english from Greek? So Jesus' more literal translated nname is supposed to be John of Nazareth, son of Joseph

Jesus was a gay footfag, the four homos who wrote the story didn't even try to hide it

Bible:
>Horny Egyptian Woman wants to fuck her husband slave (Joseph)
>Joseph is having none of her shit and walks out of the bed
>Egyptian minsters woman frames Joseph of raping her
>Her husband believes her and instantly throws Joseph to prison
Quran:
>Horny Egyptian Woman wants to fuck her husband slave (Joseph)
>Joseph is having none of her shit and walks out of the bed
>Egyptian minsters woman frames Joseph of raping her
>Her husband believes Joseph immediately, because woman are snakes and should not be trusted
>Joseph begs the husband to throw him in prison so he will no longer has to suffer interacting with women, and the husband complies
Based.

Why the fuck does this entire series have to be animated by JC Staff?
I wonder how many people ITT will get this joke.

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What the fuck was with that loredump in the first episode? It basically had no effect on the rest of the story other than for worldbuilding.

Nope, John is the anglicized version of Yochannan, a different name altogether. Yeshua is something of an alternative version of Yehoshua, which is commonly anglicized as Joshua. Jesus comes from the Greek transliteration Iesous.

Unironically based.

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Better than the disgusting fujos who make yaoi fanfiction of Jesus and Judas ever since that fucking scene where Judas kissed Jesus on the cheek.

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For all intents and purposes, what the fuck?

With that small change, the message shifted from dangers of first glance to all women bad

Did an incel wrote this?

Why did it have to be a kiss though? Why did it have to be gay?

Is the NRSV sub worth it?

:(

t. an user named John

Fuck you John

underrated

The series peaked with the fight between the angel and Jacob. Prove me wrong.

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The Quran wasn't written by an incel but by a legit pedophile who fucked an 8 year old.

Didn't he just "thigh" her? So he was just getting loli thighjobs, no biggie.

Recited, rather (nigga couldn't read or write), but yeah.

More than the guy who sent bears to kill children for laughing at his bald head?

I bet that part was added by a baldy

>the war between Jesus/Peter fujos and Jesus/Judas fujos
I wish the Great Flood was real

Why do people claim Mary is pure? She's used goods for sure. God claims he impregnated her without sex but that's bullshit. Even if she somehow didn't get pregnant via sex, she gave birth to God's child. There's no way anyone can compete

It wasn't even meant to be gay. It was meant to be tragic and showing Judas's remorse for betraying Jesus. Goddammit fujos ruin fucking everything.

Jacob wasn't wrestling an angel but God himself you fucking speedreader.

>Jesus fucked his own mom

Friendly reminder that God is a fucking cheater and broke his hip.

>O MY FATHER

asspull of the season. Not only is he suddenly back, his resurrection is now a major plot point? >"Oh and also I'm my own dad"
what the fuck???
like, why didn't he just send someone else? Why'd he *come back* AND THEN leave????
And why did this all happen at the end of the arc instead of the middle? The fuck kind of hack writing is this
>b-but user it's a fantasy shounen, you wouldn't get it
seethe shounenfags, it's clear evidence that your genre is shit