>Saruman, did I ever tell you about the time when I met galadriel?
>I was wandering the ocean in a raft, plannin evil things, generally being a cunt as is a appropiate of a dark lord, and I meet this tight elven pussy almost drowning
>She was wearing this almost transparent dress, I could see everything, even her bush, under there. We would go fighting monsters and getting captured by pirates, and then I would plow her in every hole every night. It was like a constant porno Saruman.
>We used to roleplay as the hero and the dark lord, and who won would dom the other. That cuck of her housband, Teleporno or something, would sometimes ask to watch. Of course, I wouldn't let him, but it was fucking hilarious.
>The tightest elven pussy in all of middle earth Saruman, I'm not joking, that succubus of a woman almost fucked the evil dark lord out of me.
>And she was a good friend.
Saruman, did I ever tell you about the time when I met galadriel?
I can't believe they are actually doing this
Why does Sauron look like a minge?
realistically speaking, how can i fuck saurons pupil?
when does sauron's man appear, sauronman?
>the joke is... sex
bravo coomers
>throwing a billion dollars to create a fanfic romance between one of the purest, most noble beings in the world and literal satan
I'm awed by how open those kid-diddling, money-laundering, man-eating brainwasher cultists are about their disgusting propaganda
sauron isn’t really satan he’s more like beezlebub in paradise lost
>Make Sauron have a romance subplot with Galadriel
>"NOOOO WHY ARE YOU GUYS MEMEING IT?!?!"
user, it's the funniest thing to come out of the show, how could we NOT be memeing it.
>realistically speaking, how can i fuck saurons pupil?
ropes, pulleys, planks. Probably an engineering crew to help too
It's not Sauron.
idc who does it I just want to see Gal take the D
I thought Sauron was the other meteor crater guy
Plot twist: Galadriel redeems Sauron through sex, Sauron adopts the name Celeborn and marries Galadriel, and the real Celeborn turns into Sauron because he's an angry incel.
Kek, is this real?
And I thought him being Stupid Sexy Shelob's ex-boyfriend was a bit silly.
I strongly doubt that Halbrand is Sauron. I don't know where people are getting this idea. Halbrand looks closer to an Aragorn analogue. I'm guessing he's an exiled Numenorean, or his parents were.
What's with all these newfags? Any Tolkien fan knows Sauron is a bottom bitch that craves cock.
Tolkien explicitly stated in letter 233 that Sauron was a switch.
Sauron is only a bottom bitch to Morgoth, he wants to dom everyone else.
Morgoth, or as he calls him "Melky" is his weakness...
One of Tolkien's letters goes like this:
>S-sauron, you make me blush, imagine if the other Valar heard about this, how they would mock me
>Why do you care about what those fools think, oh mighty Melkor, is there any greater Valar than you? How can I not caress you, cherish your presence, every single second of it....
>Oh sweet Sauron, you know how much I enjoy your company... but the war is not going as planned, the damn Valar....
>The damn Valar will have to wait *puts a finger on Morgoth's mouth* right now you need to relax, oh mighty dark lord. And I will relax you indeed, I will make you feel every pleasure a dark lord can feel.... *starts caressing his cheek*
>Oh sweet Sauron....
I'm paraphrasing but that's the gist of it.
Female hands typed these posts.
Post tits and fuck off back to crystal cafe.
If actual, biological females came on Any Forums to post Sauron smut, I would call them the based gender.
Sadly, I't just me really bored shitposting.
>I don't know where people are getting this idea.
nerdrotic. he has an inside informant. he's been mercilessly spoiling all of the "mysteries" so far in the show... the meanaing of sauron's symbol (it's the mountains of mordor), that meteor-man is gandalf, that mithril was in the dwarven mystery box, that halibrand is sauron, etc. He's doing this because amazon deserves it.
the trailer for episode 3 has a shot where Galadriel grabs "Halbrand"'s sword hilt like it's a cock.
it's like they found a direct transcription of Christopher Tolkien's worst nightmares.
it's honestly like the writers gave up and decided to submit stupid ideas on purpose to see if Bezos would agree to them.
Sauron is more like Satan's 2nd in command, the actual Satan of LOTR is Morgoth (Melkor)